Not getting beyond the first/second date in LA (marry, woman, attracted)

[radiolibre99]

Originally Posted by JerZ

WHAAAAAAAT, you change oil? Hey. Want to go for a latte?

Just kidding. When I need an oil change, I don't date a guy. I go pay for my oil change.

Just like guys who want sex in exchange for payment shouldn't date women. They should go pay for it.

I think it has more to do with knowing a guy is pretty self sufficient. I always hear complaints about guys in LA being less hands on.

[red4ce]

Originally Posted by new to LA

Hi
I moved to LA a few years back from a different country to go to Med school. It was hard to get in but worth the effort. I have a busy schedule and its hard to meet new people.

I have dated a few girls now. The problem is that there have been more than a few occasions now where I think it would be worth investing time dating this girl. Somehow, the woman loses interest or is not attracted anymore or feels we have different interests.

I have had no problems getting a first date. We usually meet over coffee and end up getting dinner and have a good conversation. I pay the bill as I think its the right thing to do for a guy. Most dates have ended well with a passionate kiss or a not so passionate kiss. I don't know whats goes wrong after that? Is that I'm being too nice.
I usually text or call the day after the first date and there is no response. Here is the reply I get a few days after:
"It was really nice meeting you. I think you are handsome, nice and intelligent but unfortunately we are on different pages right now."

Is it lack of physical attraction? Should I ask to split the bill, is me paying the bill being too nice ? Is it that our interests, goals don't match?

I'm posting this here as I think hearing from men/women who've been living in LA would help. Frank opinions will be appreciated. Have a nice weekend!

She probably wouldn't have even said yes to the first date if you were ugly, so it's probably more like you were too boring. Med school students aren't exactly known for living the most interesting lives.

[Chicano3000X]

Always heard that L.A. is the worst city for dating.

[jm1982]

Originally Posted by radiolibre99

I think it has more to do with knowing a guy is pretty self sufficient. I always hear complaints about guys in LA being less hands on.

Could be , but I've never heard this .

I guess if you come from a smaller town you might be more hands on , but if from another large city their hands on skills will prob be the same .

I think in reality this is pretty low on the list .

Reminds me of this portlandia episode where the women go all gaga over the guy that makes furniture .


Subaru in Portlandia: He's Making Furniture - YouTube

[jm1982]

Originally Posted by red4ce

She probably wouldn't have even said yes to the first date if you were ugly, so it's probably more like you were too boring. Med school students aren't exactly known for living the most interesting lives.

What students are known for living interesting lives ? Not too cool to stereotype an entire group of people .

[HyperionGap]

While maybe not interesting, I can assure you that an art history co-ed at OSU will be a lot more "fun" to hang out with than a 3rd year at USC/Keck.

If I weren't already dating my gf for 2 years before she started med school I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole. She is ALWAYS studying, has a terrible work schedule, and might go 2-3 weeks without a day off during certain rotations.

[pacific2]

"It was really nice meeting you. I think you are handsome, nice and intelligent but unfortunately we are on different pages right now."

Sooo, no "Sensitive, warm, funny, caring, or witty?" Has anyone ever said, "I love your smile," "I feel so comfortable and relaxed being with you," or "You really make me laugh?"

I don't know, OP, but are you connecting emotionally with them? It doesn't sound like there is any chemistry.

[majoun]

Originally Posted by Chicano3000X

Always heard that L.A. is the worst city for dating.

If you're a heterosexual man, it is.

If you're a woman or a gay man, it's a whole different story. There's probably no city in the world that's better for a gay man.

[jm1982]

I'm not looking now , but there are a bunch of "flirting apps" out there now .

Check out Skout or meet me . You can find people nearby and chat online . Free too

I would try to build some kind of rapport so that you have a better chance of knowing if she is interested before meeting in person .

Dating also seems to be a numbers game anywhere ..

" you gotta kiss a lot of frogs " and all that .

You might even be able to cut out all the traditional dating stuff and have them meet you at your place ... I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time that's happened .

Seems like lots of bored girls on there looking for fun ..

[red4ce]

Originally Posted by jm1982

What students are known for living interesting lives ? Not too cool to stereotype an entire group of people .

Being a certain major doesn't automatically make someone interesting, but you need free time to pursue fun and interesting hobbies. It's not a stereotype to say that med students have much less free time than most other students. Telling a woman you spent all last night memorizing the JNC 7 guidelines for treating hypertension simply isn't going to get her aroused.