Has he lost interest? (dating, how to, girl, single)
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A month or so ago I met a man at a mutual friend's party and we exchanged numbers. We went out on three dates within two weeks. He asked me out for the first two, then I asked him out on the third which he happily accepted. I thought all of our dates went very well and we had a lot of fun getting to know each other. We haven't spoken much between dates as his schedule is somewhat crazy. His work hours change each week and he has his kids half the week as well. This also makes it hard to actually go on dates, but I understand the situation and have been ok with it. I think it is awesome that he spends so much time with his kids and is a responsible man. We seem to click on most things (religion, politics, sense of humor, similar interests, etc.) so I am ok with going slow and seeing where this ends up. I haven't connected this well with a man in quite some time.
A couple weeks ago he mentioned that it was hard for him to find time to date me between work and his kids, but that he wanted to get together soon. He then asked me a few days later if I wanted to go out and we made plans for this past Monday. Well, yesterday came and he sent me a text in the morning saying he needed to cancel because he wasn't feeling well. I told him that was too bad and that I hope he feels better soon. He thanked me and wished me a good day. It isn't necessarily that unusual considering we have gone days between dates without contact, but I haven't heard from him since.
I thought about asking him out again, but I'm starting to wonder if this was his way to let me down gently as he didn't mention anything about rescheduling our date. When he said he wasn't feeling well, he added "we'll have to get together soon", but made no mention of when he might be able to do so. I am somewhat dependent on his schedule as my work schedule remains constant whereas his changes.
We haven't seen each other in two weeks now, so it seems like things are going a little too slow at this point. Do you think he is losing interest? I understand he is very busy and that his job and kids come first, but I also thought that if he's really into me he'd find some time to meet up. What do you think? I've been contemplating asking him out again for sometime next week, but I don't want to pester him if he just isn't interested... I just don't know how to find out if he is or not. If it matters, we haven't done anything more physical than kissing yet (but I'd sure like to explore that side of things more!). Any advice?
Just ask him, in a way that makes it easy for him to be honest. I would say, 'It seems like you have lost interest -- is that right?' Then see if he replies, 'What, no!!!!' or 'Welllll......'.
Better check if he is still sick first, though. Some men are uncomfortable being seen as vulnerable, and hide when sick.
One thing I learned during my dating years was if a man wants to be with you he will move mountains.
I other words, he would find the time, even with a busy schedule and kids.
Others may disagree, this is just my experience.
I agree with luckodeirish...I suggest waiting for him to make the next move. If he doesn't contact you within another couple of weeks, I'd move on. That would seem to indicate he has either lost interest or, possibly, his schedule is just too hectic for him to consider a relationship right now.
One thing I learned during my dating years was if a man wants to be with you he will move mountains.
I other words, he would find the time, even with a busy schedule and kids.
Others may disagree, this is just my experience.
Pretty much this. I couldn't imagine going two weeks without seeing someone I was interested in if I could help it. Of course in OP's case it's a single father so the situation isn't the same.
One thing I learned during my dating years was if a man wants to be with you he will move mountains.
I other words, he would find the time, even with a busy schedule and kids.
Others may disagree, this is just my experience.
The guy has kids? If this is any indication of the future, then you might be smart to realize he won't ever have enough time for you. He has priorities...
I wouldn't take it personally. Instead, find someone who has time to share.
I have to agree with luckodeirish, as a guy, when I am genuinely interested in a girl, I will go out of my way to find time to be with her. I'm currently in a situation that's somewhat reversed of yours, and despite having a very busy schedule myself, if the girl I'm interested in agreed to go out, I'd stretch my availability pretty far to see her.
That being said, I have no kids, which I imagine are a whole other level of "busy" and commitment that can't quite be as easily stretched, especially as a single parent.
For now I'd probably take the middle road and wonder a bit if he's really interested, but also give him the benefit of the doubt on being busy. He's dropping some comments that seem to show a desire to see you but a lack of ability.
I wouldn't ask him out again, you've done it once, you've shown your clear interest. Just keep in touch with him casually and if he asks you out again soon, great, if he doesn't, accept he's just not that interested and move on.
One thing I learned during my dating years was if a man wants to be with you he will move mountains.
I other words, he would find the time, even with a busy schedule and kids.
Others may disagree, this is just my experience.
true dat. i was just saying the same thing on another one of those high school threads.
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