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I generally reason that I don't care about people's history if I can't see them either in business-related or private-related things in my life. It's their life and that's all.
If I happen to care, I generally won't ask them, but I'll use any occasion to find it out from other sources or from their behavior.
When it comes to sexual past in particular, I think that they are either promiscuous themselves, or that they are indoctrinated by BS from the media and various organizations to a point where they don't use their own brain, or they are simply ashamed to admit that they care. It's even funnier to me if those folks start talking about sexual compatibility.
I'd like to know most everything except things related to their sexual past, adventures and how many women they have been with. Unless it is important to the present moment and relationship, I don't see how it in anyway could enhance the relationship and intimacy.
Knowing about the ex-wife with whom he has children, their divorce, issues, strengths, etc., is all fine, but all the other "fluff" that was "just for fun" I'd rather not know about.
I always find this funny. You people will judge if people used to do drugs, DUIs, criminal record, etc. But a woman's sexual past is off limits to judgement. It's hypocritical. People go to prison for their pasts. Only people with pasts they don't want say the past doesn't matter.
i stated nothing in my post about drugs or dui's
i got a dui 27 yrs ago,,i freely tell anyone that-i learned from it- i even tell my son-learn from my mistakes
now if i met a lady and she's been in and out of jail for prostitution, yeah, id want to know
Their past in what respect? I don't wanna know about the dudes they've been with.. that doesn't interest me. If they have a funny story about their ex boyfriend, no big deal but I don't want to get to know any exes. Just like I don't feel like talking about any of the girls I've been with.
I like to hear tales about his childhood, family, work, some of the life things he has been through. Sexual history? Nah. If he's healthy and he's faithful in his commitment to me, that's all that matters. That goes twice over now, at my age. His past relationships and sex life is between him and his exes and none of my business, and I get the same respect for boundaries from him.
Exactly.
Quote:
You say you don't pelt people with questions, but there is really no polite way to ask someone what kinds of sexual activity are in his or her past. For me, if you have to ask, you're not close enough to me to know, which means you're prying.
Yep, I don't need to know, really. What matters is his sexual activity with me.
I like to know....to a point. I don't need details, but if I want them, I'll ask. I prefer people to be curious about my past, it made me who I am today. However, I don't want them to use it against me (btdt, it's the worst thing in the world). I also like to learn about my partner's past. What made him who he is today. I'll be honest, depending on how I feel about the person, will determine if I judge their past or not. I like when a guy asks me questions, because it makes me feel like he's interested in the person I am...as a whole.
What I dislike is when men MUST know "my number"...as in, hoow many men have I slept with. So far, only one, ONE PERSON, who asked, actually didn't care. The rest, immediately judged me. I don't get why men want to know, when they can't handle the truth. Now that, I dislike. Or when a guy asks me if I've done this or that, or would do it, and I answer and they don't like the answer.
If you're going to ask, you better be able to handle the answer. I don't ask about things I know I can't handle. And in fact, if I know I can't handle certain topics, I ask the guy not to talk about it please.
I'm too curious not to wonder, though it's not something i ask before trust is established(sex) because it's not details I feel comfortable sharing about myself with random women.(other than internet where I'm anonymous anyway)
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