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I'm sure the cheaters are enjoying every single moment of it during the betrayal. Why do they suddenly have a change of heart when getting caught cheating? If they confess on their own will then that's another story. I do believe some of them might be remorseful and there is a chance the relationship can work out. Personally, I would appreciate their honesty but still break up. That's one thing I wouldn't be able to overlook.
I think that poster is just scared of being caught again and losing her man for good but would probably have continue if not caught. I'm willing to bet she was enjoying screwing that guy's ''friend''. I'm surprised he still marry her. I guess he probably is some desperate man with no standards nor self-esteem. He probably couldn't get the quality women and had to settle for less.
I know of no man with self-esteem that would still marry a woman he caught screwing his friend. It's one thing to learn/find out you got cheated than to actually catch your partner in the act. Ouch.
Or maybe it can also teach them a lesson of not doing to others what they wouldn't like it being done on them.
But if they are "reformed" and have never cheated again, didn't they already learn that lesson? Don't be disenginuous. This isn't about teaching lessons or helping one improve. The guy didn't cheat later because he was helping his wife become a better person, he cheated because he wanted to.
But if they are "reformed" and have never cheated again, didn't they already learn that lesson? Don't be disenginuous. This isn't about teaching lessons or helping one improve. The guy didn't cheat later because he was helping his wife become a better person, he cheated because he wanted to.
It's pretty stupid if you ask me. First off getting past someone cheating is difficult, why would someone go through all that work and effort to get past it just to either ruin the relationshp or make the both of youhave to go through all that over again cuz it's not pleasant for either party.
Also, it's not getting even, not to try to justify cheating, but in this scenario in your post as well as many others the cheating happens early one, maybe even before there was talk of being exclusive or when both parties were young, before they were really deep into a relationship and emotionally involved and then someone else cheats years down the road. I personally think thats worse. The first person who cheated was bad and there's no excuse but in this scenario they were 19/20, young, immature, dumb, probably not all that serious at the time. Now the guys cheats WAY down the road when there's a kid involved, they are married so house, finances, etc, after htey have been together for years and years. That seems way worse to me. Back when he was cheated on he had the ability to walk away no strings attached, she doesn't really have that opportunity.
This is the story of a supposedly reformed cheater; the one that does it at some point but never repeats it again. This woman cheated when they were bf and gf but looks like the tables have turned. She's suspecting that her now husband is recently cheating. But wouldn't that be even? One thing I've noticed is reformed cheaters (or active cheaters) are very good at detecting other cheaters quicker than someone who never cheated.
Fundamentally, revenge cheating can be considered petty and infantile. However, if the injured party wants to be made whole, and feels his cheating will help him accomplish that -- at least so he can stop blaming the wife for her past actions, then so be it.
The guy in the article is handling it all wrong. It should have been done long ago and very discretely. But that deep-rooted anger and resentment can cloud one's reasoning.
Sure you can return the cheat. But why would you want to remain with someone who does that to you just to risk STD danger for the sake of revenge? Is your self respect worth no more than that?
Classic case of two wrongs don't make a right. Why make a situation nastier by returning the favour for what she did to you?
Personally, I wouldn't stay with the cheater because in plain english it means that what I offered her was't good enough so she had to get it elsewhere. It's rare that I stay in these types of relationships. The woman would have to be super extra special for me to stick around knowing that she cheated on me. Why set myself up to be potentially hurt again? It doesn't make sense.
This is the story of a supposedly reformed cheater; the one that does it at some point but never repeats it again. This woman cheated when they were bf and gf but looks like the tables have turned. She's suspecting that her now husband is recently cheating. But wouldn't that be even? One thing I've noticed is reformed cheaters (or active cheaters) are very good at detecting other cheaters quicker than someone who never cheated.
On one hand, I say yes, you do deserve it. People cheat for various reasons but the one common denominator is that it is always a conscious decision. On the other, revenge sex often does not work out as well for the "other" cheater as it is all about ego. Think about it. If one were truly hurt by a cheater's cheating, they would be sad and mopey. Wanting revenge does not stem from sadness, but from hate. It also has the potential to backfire, especially if the cheating was years ago and the cheater has matured a great deal since, and has learned from the experience. The person getting revenge often ends up feeling, or looking like at least, a real jerk.
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Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
The relationship was doomed when she cheated. I don't even know why he stay with her, and worse, marry her.
I personally wouldn't, but some people are more forgiving than others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
When you decide to stay with someone after you've caught them cheating, you implicitly agree to forgive them for that transgression. Forgiveness does not mean you keep that transgression in your back pocket to throw in their face whenever you get angry.
To be honest, I think our culture's insistence that cheating is always some kind death-penalty offense is ridiculous. If you are married to someone for 30, 40 or 50 years and you only cheat on them on a couple of occasions in all that time, you are GOOD at monogamy, not bad at it.
Forgiveness is not saying that you agree the actions where okay, or that they do not hurt you. When you forgive someone, you are saying that from this point forward you will not allow the hurtful actions to consume you anymore. I agree that it does not mean you should keep it on hold until one day when...
This is the story of a supposedly reformed cheater; the one that does it at some point but never repeats it again. This woman cheated when they were bf and gf but looks like the tables have turned. She's suspecting that her now husband is recently cheating. But wouldn't that be even? One thing I've noticed is reformed cheaters (or active cheaters) are very good at detecting other cheaters quicker than someone who never cheated.
If you are married to someone for 30, 40 or 50 years and you only cheat on them on a couple of occasions in all that time, you are GOOD at monogamy, not bad at it.
If I were married, I wouldn't want them to ever cheat on me, not even once. If they do then there is no point of it being a monogamous, committed relationship.
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