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I'm 28 year old, have a PhD, have a good job that pays me well and for the most part I'm happy with my and content with my life for the first time in my life. Recently, though, people such as my close and extended family and colleagues are starting to wonder if I'm gay or not because I've never been in a relationship. How is it they can't figure out the true reason I've never had a woman interested in me? My freakishly ugly face, of course. That is not an exaggeration, and in fact, I was ridiculed and bullied over my freakish looks throughout elementary and middle school.
Why is it some people just can never understand that some people were just never meant to have relationships in general? I've personally never had friends either for the most part, mostly acquaintances as I really withdrew socially during the torment I suffered in my formative years. I tried telling my older brother the real reason (he's actually good looking and has always been popular with women), and he told me it's a, and I quote, "retarded excuse" then proceeded to feed me the generic nonsense of "It's all about confidence. Just put yourself out there and you'll find her". This is what I believe the responses of the other people who are "wondering" will also be. It's like they simply can't conceive that some people just aren't designed by nature to be appealing to the opposite sex.
Sounds depressing to most I'm sure, but I'm actually not depressed about it. I've learned to accept it many years ago, and I actually live a decent and fulfilling life for the most part.
No one ever said you need a relationship or other people. Do whatever you want.
Although, it's not a very uncommon assumption to think you're gay if you're 28 and have never had a girlfriend.
I'm 28 year old, have a PhD, have a good job that pays me well and for the most part I'm happy with my and content with my life for the first time in my life. Recently, though, people such as my close and extended family and colleagues are starting to wonder if I'm gay or not because I've never been in a relationship. How is it they can't figure out the true reason I've never had a woman interested in me? My freakishly ugly face, of course. That is not an exaggeration, and in fact, I was ridiculed and bullied over my freakish looks throughout elementary and middle school.
Why is it some people just can never understand that some people were just never meant to have relationships in general? I've personally never had friends either for the most part, mostly acquaintances as I really withdrew socially during the torment I suffered in my formative years. I tried telling my older brother the real reason (he's actually good looking and has always been popular with women), and he told me it's a, and I quote, "retarded excuse" then proceeded to feed me the generic nonsense of "It's all about confidence. Just put yourself out there and you'll find her". This is what I believe the responses of the other people who are "wondering" will also be. It's like they simply can't conceive that some people just aren't designed by nature to be appealing to the opposite sex.
Sounds depressing to most I'm sure, but I'm actually not depressed about it. I've learned to accept it many years ago, and I actually live a decent and fulfilling life for the most part.
It's all about conformity. People see what they want to see and cannot grasp the idea that someone might do something that's not the status quo. Too many black and white assumptions, people don't think beyond what they assume, etc.
If man is married = He wins at life, end there.
If man is not married = Gay, loser, failed at life, numerous stupid made up assumptions.
I'm 28 year old, have a PhD, have a good job that pays me well and for the most part I'm happy with my and content with my life for the first time in my life. Recently, though, people such as my close and extended family and colleagues are starting to wonder if I'm gay or not because I've never been in a relationship. How is it they can't figure out the true reason I've never had a woman interested in me? My freakishly ugly face, of course. That is not an exaggeration, and in fact, I was ridiculed and bullied over my freakish looks throughout elementary and middle school.
Why is it some people just can never understand that some people were just never meant to have relationships in general? I've personally never had friends either for the most part, mostly acquaintances as I really withdrew socially during the torment I suffered in my formative years. I tried telling my older brother the real reason (he's actually good looking and has always been popular with women), and he told me it's a, and I quote, "retarded excuse" then proceeded to feed me the generic nonsense of "It's all about confidence. Just put yourself out there and you'll find her". This is what I believe the responses of the other people who are "wondering" will also be. It's like they simply can't conceive that some people just aren't designed by nature to be appealing to the opposite sex.
Sounds depressing to most I'm sure, but I'm actually not depressed about it. I've learned to accept it many years ago, and I actually live a decent and fulfilling life for the most part.
Didn't read most of this but if RedFoo of LMFAO can get chicks after "Sexy and I Know it"so can you. Your argument is invalid. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Let me tell you one thing about women. The only thing that has repulsed me about a man is when he was cheating on me or acting like an *******. I have never been repulsed by someone's looks, specially a man's look. I have even been close to dating men with disabilities once or twice, so nothing repulsive about any of that. Now a man who cheats on women and has a generally mysogynistic attitude towards women and treats them like objects and brags how many he has banged - is truly repulsive. When you get out to the real world, you will realize how different it is from what you have in your head.
I did this on Sunday at a barber shop that was full of women, but they were all married. I had my "stylist" having to take breaks from shaving my head because she couldn't breathe, and the other stylists around her were having to stop from laughing hard, too.
A very astute observation. People who are already in serious relationships (especially those who are already married) won't drop their partner in favor of some new charming young man who waltzes into their lives. No amount of "social skills" can defeat the basic realities of demographics. If one does not interact with a some minimal quantity of single and eligible people, there's little advantage to being socially adroit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Astute
Most conversations outside of the job at hand naturally revolves around what they did with their girlfriend or friends over the weekend, their families, etc. Since I cannot relate or provide input on this, I usually just nod my head and pretend to care while they go on about their lives.
As one gets older, the office theme switches from renditions of entertainment over the weekend, to the chores of tending to young children, and later to the travails of parenting teenagers. So the social stigma of lacking a romantic partner will eventually be assuaged, as one's office clique matures. It will be replaced by bemused gossip over why so-and-so isn't an upstanding family man. This in particular is the pattern in engineering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
Although something tells me it is not your looks, but your misanthropic or cold manner that keeps people away. Have people ever called you "odd" or "creepy"?
Another very astute observation. Evidence suggests that what repulses women is not physical hideousness but unwitting signals of incompatibility. The "ugly guy" might have the misfortune of an asymmetric face with unappealing bone-structure and whatnot, but he could nevertheless exude a message that "I'm safe, I'm reliable, I'm friendly, I can be trusted". And inversely, a visually impressive man could be sending signals such as "I hold society in contempt, and the persons in it, merely as means to an end".
I can't believe after four pages of replies, everyone is still missing the point. Whether coming from the standpoint of the being "God's gift to women - I'm ugly but I can still have tons of girlfriends" or generally trying to be encouraging, the advice everyone is giving is the same. People think you're gay? Go out there and find a girlfriend to prove them wrong. But this is not the issue. The issue is, these people who are suggesting you are gay behind your back or to your face are NOT your friends. Because I can guarantee that if indeed you do find a girlfriend one day and especially one who is beautiful, they will not be happy for you. Instead, the talk will then turn to how an ugly guy like you ended up with a such beautiful woman. My advice - live happy your way and find better friends.
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