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I was the first tall, curvy bi-racial woman an ex-fiance dated. He had previously only dated Asian women (both ex-wives were Asian), a few Latinas, and one or two white women. They were all very petite. I'm 5'9.5" and a size 10/12. I did feel a bit intimidated, I guess. He was excited and thrilled to branch out of his norm, and I opened his eyes to a lot. He thought I was absolutely gorgeous and never made me feel less than that. It was all in my own head.
However, most of the other men I have been seriously involved with like curvy women, so it was never an issue. I generally do not look like the type most of my partners have dated as I have a more exotic look and sport a lot of body art. Most of them have straight-laced appearances.
Yes I can definitely relate. Every guy I dated has liked curvy woman like me. I'm a size 8 so I'm not plus size but I do have a big butt and thicker legs. Anyway because most guys I've dated have dated curvy woman it has never been an issue for me. The guy I'm dating now has only dated thin fit white women and I'm not white or thin so it's definitely something I'm curious about. I mean obviously he is attracted to me or else he wouldn't be talking to me but I do wonder if it could be an issue in the future.
In the future?
You are making it an issue right now!
No I'm not. I made this thread really in reference to the friend I was talking about who confessed that the reason she is not able to move forward with the guy she is dating because she is skeptical and feels as if she is a fetish of some sorts. She's been dating this guy for 4 months. I've been dating my guy for a month as far as I'm concerned it hasn't been long enough for me to feel uncomfortable about it. But if we did date for a while I would be curious how it would impacted things because with my ex me being different from his other girls did impact things as the relationship progressed.
For men, say you found out that the woman you were dating had only dated a specific race of men that looked pretty similar(I.e a white woman who only dated dark skin black men) and you were the first man that she had dated that wasn't that race and physically you are attractive but you look and act differently(culturally) than the men she usually dates. Would this bother you? Would you be curious as to why all the sudden she is attracted to you?
That is so weird. Yes, I would ask and always wonder. Not that it couldn't work because there are always exceptions to the rule as far as who we're attracted to.
That is so weird. Yes, I would ask and always wonder. Not that it couldn't work because there are always exceptions to the rule as far as who we're attracted to.
Thank you for being honest! On another forum a similar thread was created and a lot of posters said they didn't believe a relationship like this would last. If a man or woman had a set type chances are that person would have a difficult time sustaining a relationship with a person outside of there type. After the novelty wore off that person would begin to find himself/herself wanting to date there type again. I can't attest to whether or not its true but I know with my ex once the novelty wore off he started to want me to be like the women he dated in the past(personality wise).
On the other hand I had a brother that only dated white women over an 8 year period. Then he dated biracial women for a little while. Then finally he dated woman from our background. And since then, he has only dated women from our background. So I do believe that an individual may actually be able to date and eventually change or adjust there preferences and become flexible about who they date. Honestly not sure how common it is for a person to date outside there usual type and actually sustain attraction.
But like you I feel slightly awkward about it. Like I wonder why a guy who has only dated type "x" would all the sudden become attracted to "y".
In my case I've noticed that in the last 6 months I've managed to attract 3 guys from my background who have always only dated white women and yet they want to date me and im not white nor do I have the thin body build they've consistently dated. It's bizarre and makes me wonder if there is something about me that causes these men of my background to feel "safe" pursuing me as the first girl they want to date that is from their background. I even had a guy tell me, "I only date white women because the women in our background are xxyyyzx and I never met one I was attracted to." But then he went on to say "but I'm really attracted to you."
And it's becoming a pattern for me--attracting these men that normally don't date women in my background. It makes me feel like an experiment of some sort,
I'm the only one that would be bothered by this? Wow. I have a friend, who is dating a white guy, and she is black, she is very attractive but this guy has only dated white woman and she's skeptical because she feels like she could be an experiment for him. I'm also dating someone and as far as I am aware physically I do not look like the type of woman he has dated in the past. It hasn't bothered me much yet but I do wonder if it could be. It was an issue in my last relationship because he had never dated a woman with my personality or upbringing. At first he liked it, later on as the relationship progress it began to bother him.
You and your friend are way overthinking the situation. As another user said, just enjoy the relationship and don't give it another thought.
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It depends on how he presents the situation. If he points too often how different you are from his past lovers, I would be worry, even if he does it in a positive way, because It could be he is resented with them . If you got the info from other source or it came casually, It's better to no pay too much attention and enjoy the relationship.
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