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I've noticed that most people can have a whole series of good relationships (or at least decent ones) and not come away from those relationships thinking they've gleaned any great insights into the opposite sex or the human condition.
But let someone have a few bad relationships, and suddenly they think they know The Truth. They suddenly know women are all shallow and materialistic. They suddenly know men are all players who get off on humiliating women. And so on. And they tend to get very militant about it. They feel some desperate need to spread their Truth to everyone else, and become angry and belligerent with those who question or disagree with them.
I am just curious as to why so many people seem to give so much more weight to bad experiences than to good ones.
Quite an interesting phenomenon actually.
I think it is a defense mechanism and a need for some kind of sense to their experience. At least, that is how it was for me.
In my opinion, people in general don't necessarily focus on the negative experiences more, as there is unquantifiable amount of wisdom to learn from any type of experience, good or bad. Perhaps fixating on the bad experiences, allows a person to feel safer, because by keeping these experiences fresh it allows a person to avoid similar type experience from repeating itself in the future. Positive experiences can be analyzed, learned from ad stored away in memory banks, because their return would likely be welcome.
As for the truth, everyone has their own version of truth, and its all based on their own life experiences. Then, there is The Truth. Follow that, there is only one.
And lemme guess...you're the only one who is in possessions of this great Truth?
It is much easier to blame the lack of good relationships on the other party than admit to oneself that the other person is not the problem in the bad relationship or at least not the "entire" problem. Being truthful with oneself is one road many choose not go wander.
I think it's a combination of this^. As well as some people just think that they know it all. They don't know how to have "healthy" relationships, so they think that nobody does. When you tell them otherwise, to them you must be lying or that there must be some other reason. In truth there's a lot of bitter people in life who choose to stay that way for whatever reason. Perhaps, it works for them, and they are comfortable in their little world of "I know everything about women, men, etc" b.s . It get's old! Newsflash, nobody knows everything about the other sex. Heck, the older I get, the less I know.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 11-20-2013 at 01:49 PM..
I've used this example before, but what happens when you are in a car accident on a certain street that you take everyday? You find a different route. You do this, because you fear experiencing the same traumatic event. And regardless of that street not being any more accident prone than any other street, there is still that same fear.
People focus on the negative more, because that's what we don't want to experience again. The negative can be a good thing, because it teaches us. Conversely, it can be a bad thing, because we don't want to embark in different experiences. People who focus only on the positive might have a sunny disposition in life, but they are prone to be taken advantage of. There's a good and a bad to everything. It's okay to see the negative in things, because sometimes that makes the positive that much rewarding.
As always, the key is balance. I wouldn't want to be around someone who is always negative any more than I'd want to be around someone who is only positive.
And lemme guess...you're the only one who is in possessions of this great Truth?
No, im not the only one. There are other truth seekers out there, but it takes time and effort and it reveals itself only a bit at a time. It comes at a cost, that's for sure.
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