Ethnic fetishes vs attraction to certain races

[Sugah Ray]

Originally Posted by akck

I agree with what you're getting at, but I disagree with some fine points. I've known people who'd be classified as not as intelligent as the general population who classify you based on your deeds and not the color of your skin. I've also seen intelligent people who will treat you with respect to your face, but will lay on the derogatory comments in private.

I'd add another category too. Those that don't care what your race is, but are willing to let you place yourself in a box, while remaining open to other members of your race. There are other categories, but they are a subset of this one.

Well to me someone who thinks a race or ethnicity is superior cannot be that smart. They are not even aware of their own cognitive biases and irrational thinking. Those people are getting zero of my time and zero of my brain cells. Ain't nobody got time for that.

[stokedindc]

Originally Posted by Sugah Ray

I constantly have this type of discussion with someone that speaks like you. They are not indian just part of some groups that have a lot of stereotypes

What I can tell you is that I understand your feelings. There are times when I have felt discrimination and it's not an easy pill to digest. When emotions run high and anger blinds our rationality we get in defense mode.

However:

It's true that you are acting like the people you are judging. IMO Grouping people and giving them a negative adjetive is irrational and naive thinking.

I think you need to realize first that the world has a large proportion of unintelligent people of all races and ethnicities. Intelligent people always double check their beliefs, dumb people are usually to lazy to think. They like quick answers and are more prone to believe in silly generalizations because they don't even have the mental tools to check their beliefs. These people are usually very loud and get a lot attention because they upset some people.

Then you have average people who are to busy with their own problems to worry about yours. They will meet you, put you in a box but quickly change their mind if they get a chance to know you well, they will realize you are not a stereotype. However these people on the surface might look like the dumb people because they usually have the same first impression of you.

Then you have more educated intelligent people who will probably think you are a stereotype also but will give you the benefit of the doubt from the beginning.

So you need to ask yourself, why do you worry so much about what some dumb or uniformed people might think of you when they first meet you? Why is that opinion at that specific moment that important? Are people supposed to know you are special just because you are who you are? Think about it and I hope you realize your expectations are irrational.

Thanks so much for the kind words, your post has really lightened up my day amidst all those allegations from other members dismissing my claims and laughing off the stereotypes that were perpetrated against me as funny and not offensive. I totally agree with you, I was not always this defensive and negative in my outlook but I am at a low point in life right now. In fact the first 2 years of my life when I came here were my happiest, I knew nothing about the negative stereotypes that existed against men of my race and I always thought that people saw each other for what they were at heart and not merely by their stereotypes.

I used to work as a tutor at that time in the university and a lot of female students would often ask me out for dinner, lunch etc etc. I even dated an American girl during that time for 6 months or so after which she relocated and hence it didn't last longer. I made a lot of friends from people that were my students and they were all very friendly and welcoming towards me, so I can't say with conviction that all the people I had encountered were negative. One of them even offered for me to stay at his place when I was at a transitional phase so I can't forget all that. However, I started being an active blogger after sometime and came across a lot of negativity on the internet, and a lot of people that told me that I was nothing more than a stereotype since I am from so and so race and that I can't be looked at as an individual. I used to visit a few forums that related to dating, PUA etc etc during that time which formed this opinion in me. This became very strongly set in my mind and I started viewing the world in a different manner after that, you could say that my perception created this reality where I started viewing myself being a target of hate and ridicule, also perhaps I was projecting the same.

While I don't deny that there were people that indulged in all this before, I never bothered to give them any importance. However, I started looking only at those aspects or only those people and so became very negative and bitter in my outlook towards life which continues to this day. I am actually a pretty well rounded individual in real life, I workout, study a lot about nutrition, physiology, science and spirituality but all this gets lost because at the end of the day I just get bogged down by my perception of reality and life as a struggle I am constantly fighting against. The world is a pretty dark and depressing place when you get dragged down by hate and see that in every person you encounter. I wish I could move past those people and experiences that hate/ridicule me and not give them any importance, I am trying to achieve that but my perception at the moment is too depressing and dark.

[pacific2]

Originally Posted by stokedindc

Thanks so much for the kind words, your post has really lightened up my day amidst all those allegations from other members dismissing my claims and laughing off the stereotypes that were perpetrated against me as funny and not offensive. I totally agree with you, I was not always this defensive and negative in my outlook but I am at a low point in life right now. In fact the first 2 years of my life when I came here were my happiest, I knew nothing about the negative stereotypes that existed against men of my race and I always thought that people saw each other for what they were at heart and not merely by their stereotypes.

I used to work as a tutor at that time in the university and a lot of female students would often ask me out for dinner, lunch etc etc. I even dated an American girl during that time for 6 months or so after which she relocated and hence it didn't last longer. I made a lot of friends from people that were my students and they were all very friendly and welcoming towards me, so I can't say with conviction that all the people I had encountered were negative. One of them even offered for me to stay at his place when I was at a transitional phase so I can't forget all that. However, I started being an active blogger after sometime and came across a lot of negativity on the internet, and a lot of people that told me that I was nothing more than a stereotype since I am from so and so race and that I can't be looked at as an individual. I used to visit a few forums that related to dating, PUA etc etc during that time which formed this opinion in me. This became very strongly set in my mind and I started viewing the world in a different manner after that, you could say that my perception created this reality where I started viewing myself being a target of hate and ridicule, also perhaps I was projecting the same.

While I don't deny that there were people that indulged in all this before, I never bothered to give them any importance. However, I started looking only at those aspects or only those people and so became very negative and bitter in my outlook towards life which continues to this day. I am actually a pretty well rounded individual in real life, I workout, study a lot about nutrition, physiology, science and spirituality but all this gets lost because at the end of the day I just get bogged down by my perception of reality and life as a struggle I am constantly fighting against. The world is a pretty dark and depressing place when you get dragged down by hate and see that in every person you encounter. I wish I could move past those people and experiences that hate/ridicule me and not give them any importance, I am trying to achieve that but my perception at the moment is too depressing and dark.

Just a suggestion, but you might want to limit the amount of time you spend on the internet, and focus more on your positive real-life relationships, since you are bound to encounter people on the net who are the worst of the worst; weak idiots who are not worthy of your time, but feel powerful when they can anonymously spew hatred towards racial/ethnic minorities.

[PJSaturn]

This thread has run hopelessly off topic and, consequently, is now closed.

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