I want to stay, but I'm so hurt (dating, boyfriend, women)
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I apologize if this is rather long. My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for 8 months. At the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he had a porn addiction. He told me that he had been to some classes and did not want to watch it again. He said he was determined to quit. Personally, I do not want to date a guy who watches porn, because that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable & gross to think that he's masturbating to other naked women. I told him I did not want him watching it.
7 months into our relationship, he admitted that he had watched porn the entire time and lied about it. I was devastated. We "broke up" for a couple days, but we got back together. A couple weeks later, I came home from college. My parents HATE my boyfriend and don't usually let me see him. The first night I was home, I went to go see my BEST guy friend. No feelings, never will be. We were watching a movie with his parents & grandparents. My boyfriend was upset and told me I should've came to see him instead and then said we were done. He wouldn't text me back for 3 hours, and when I finally called him, he had invited this girl over to his house that I did not want to him to hang out with alone during our relationship. He said they hung out with his parents, but I knew he did it out of spite. I didn't talk to him for 3 days, and when I talked to him, he admitted to watching porn again.
When I came back to school, I decided to officially break up with him. I told myself I deserved better and I couldn't handle it. He continued to act like we were in a relationship, until I finally told him last week that I fell for someone else, which was a lie.
Now today, a week after no contact, we began texting again and he told me how much he loved me and missed me and wanted to make things work. After a long day of delightful conversation, I asked him what his Christmas break plans were. He said he was going on a vacation to a ski resort with this SINGLE girl and her parents. Um? WHAT?!?!?!?! They're "childhood friends" and "no feelings," but how is that right? Him going on vacation with a single girl when he wants to be with me? He also admitted to porn again this past week. I am so hurt and have been crying for 2 hours.
I am in love with this guy. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, and I lost my virginity to him. I'm not sure what to do. I'm trying to convince him to back out of the trip. I called and cussed him out many times tonight. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with going on the trip. He doesn't see it. I don't want him going and making out with her.
Just let it play out. You don't want him to tell you who you can be friends with and neither does he. There are several serious issues that concern you in this relationship, issues that will probably cause it to fail.
Now's the time to keep your big mouth shut and let him follow through with his plans. If he mentions his Christmas plans, just tell him it's fine. You can't save this thing by yourself. If he's not on board 100% then it's not worth doing. You've already broken up once over porn. Let him show you how much he respects you or not. Don't say anything. Don't do anything. And honestly, if he's going on a trip with a childhood friend...whatever. You're not the boss of him.
Odds are you'll find a better boyfriend next year. You need to grow up a bit, too.
100%. Also, youll eventually get over the porn thing. There's guys that admit to you they look at porn and **** off, and there's ones that will lie to you about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
Odds are you'll find a better boyfriend next year. You need to grow up a bit, too.
After a long day of delightful conversation, I asked him what his Christmas break plans were. He said he was going on a vacation to a ski resort with this SINGLE girl and her parents. Um? WHAT?!?!?!?! They're "childhood friends" and "no feelings," but how is that right?
I'm sorry but I missed the part where you can hang out with a guy friend whom you claim you have no feelings for but he can't do the same thing with a female.
You need to grow up most adult males get off to porn of some kind and you both are playing games with each other. Crap or get off the pot. You need to concentrate on school and worry about dating later. Just because he was your first does not mean, you are meant to be together.
100%. Also, youll eventually get over the porn thing. There's guys that admit to you they look at porn and **** off, and there's ones that will lie to you about it.
Every girl I've ever dated has been down to watch it WITH me.
OP just sounds prudish.
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