Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok been married for over thirty years, very good relationship. Only problem for last ten years have not had sex. Reason being Medication, Menopause, different aces and pains and of all things Dogs in the Bed most of these have been my wife's reason.
But me yes every so often forget it but for the most part I'm very ready to go and have needs. My wife tells me to take care of myself Being Christian how am I to go about this and not feel like I'm wrong?
Make an appointment for her to see a doctor and for the two of you to see a marriage counselor and possibly your priest, if you have a close relationship with the church. Your wife has abandoned your marriage.
Ok been married for over thirty years, very good relationship. Only problem for last ten years have not had sex. Reason being Medication, Menopause, different aces and pains and of all things Dogs in the Bed most of these have been my wife's reason.
But me yes every so often forget it but for the most part I'm very ready to go and have needs. My wife tells me to take care of myself Being Christian how am I to go about this and not feel like I'm wrong?
brushrunner
Work on getting rid of the guilt and just go out and find someone for sex if that is what you want. I'd love to comment on the "Christian" part but I will resist.
There is no cheating when you have an agreement. I'm assuming that is what she means and it is the right thing to offer. But maybe you better ask to clarify first.
Your wife has made it very clear, both implicitly and explicitly, that sex is not important to her. Therefore, she should have no problem with you going elsewhere to get your needs met. I would have this discussion with her, there is no need to hide it.
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
English Standard Version (ESV)
Principles for Marriage
7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Work on getting rid of the guilt and just go out and find someone for sex if that is what you want. I'd love to comment on the "Christian" part but I will resist.
There is no cheating when you have an agreement. I'm assuming that is what she means and it is the right thing to offer. But maybe you better ask to clarify first.
I'm talking and her as far as masturbation I mean I feel guilty just thinking of another I know I could have regular sex with another but there is no way I would.
Years ago before I was saved she wanted to break up, I found another woman my wife got mad we talked and got back together and our relationship other than sex couldn't be better and I wouldn't think of doing this again.
It's a shame this thread will be locked soon because people can't stop themselves from taking advantage and answer the question without inserting their own religious bias.
Brushrunner, this is more common than people realize because most people don't have the guts to talk about it.
"Thinking of another" is very easy and common, but it doesn't necessarily mean you WANT to be with another person. Sometimes fantasies are your brain's way of manufacturing feelings that you are missing.
This lack of desire does not mean your wife has abandoned your marriage. It does not mean she doesn't love you.
Based on your posting history, I don't really see you two going to therapy anytime soon. But the quickest way to deal with this is to SHOW your wife how you feel about it rather than telling her.
Try today to show her any kind of affection. Say something sweet, give her a longer hug than usual. No pressure to have sex. Just baby steps.
tell her that god clearly intends for you to have authority over her body
print a few copies of this bible verse, have them framed, and hang it in different areas of the house
if she disagrees, accuse her of blasphemy. go down with guns blazing, e.g., "You're going straight to HELL if you don't agree!!"
Ok thanks this is what I was needing and I will Pray on it and talk with her but to be right with me I need her to have it in her mind she really wants this, if you understand what I'm saying.
brushrunner
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
most of these have been my wife's reason.
Being Christian how am I to go about this and not feel like I'm wrong?
I know I could have regular sex with another but there is no way I would.
