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Well...I have been approaching women for like 7 years now and I'm not to happy to say that after all this time I have never had a girlfriend, a date or even my first kiss for that matter....and last week I was at this party and 4 of my friend's girlfriends started talking about the fact that they never see me with a girl..of course I didn't tell hem that I was a virgin but said that I didn't get a lot of dates though..and as the conversation progressed they said that:
1) I was too quiet, which gives a shy feel, and women almost never go for shy guys...
2) The way i dressed and groomed my self makes me look too young and not " alpha maleish" looking...
3) I am too mature, responsible ( they pointed out the fact that I never got drunk as an example) and that was killing my game..
4) Other women don't see me with a lady by my side, which doesn't give me a lot of status
5) I live with my mom and women see this as a weakness..( I will not ditch my mom by the way....it's only me and her here in the US..at least until my dad gets his green card and moves here...)
Believe me I know they are not the most reliable source of wisdom...but at least they were honest...
Males continue to change, grow, and develop up to around the age of 27. Same case for women.
Best advise is just continue to develop along your own path. So that eventually, you'll just "bump into" a scenario that will "mesh" well with who you are and what you're about.
If everybody's changing themselves to attract someone, they typically what one ends up with is disappointment and a bad match.
In all things, know theyself...and be true to oneself.
Yes.
You are in the exact same boat as countless other guys who frequent this forum. So you've been approaching women for 7 years, that means u beat me by two years in the trying aspect.
So here is the deal, you have 4 possible outcomes;
1: You'll be lucky and stuble over a girl with whom you click.
2: You'll keep going and get nothing as always.
3: You change what you do and it works.
4: You change what you do and it doesn't work.
Bottom line is that if you don't change your only hope is #1, if you do change yourself you have #1 and #3 to hope for.
This might be true for the criteria of those young girls. But it is not true for women in general. I've known a lot of women (girls over 20) who like shy guys and see that as a guy who does not sleep around. Plus, your pooling your answers from very young most likely immature girls themselves. Girls at that age look for a lot of superficial stuff like loud, coc ky, arrogant, etc type of guys. Put it simply,-"all the wrong guys". When they get burnt from those same guys which they think they want now. Some day they will look for the more mature, shy, guy who doesn't sleep with everything in the world type such as yourself...
My best advice don't take advice from girls who are too young to know what they want...If your seeking advice, look for it from those who have actually been around the block once or twice..Just my two scents...
Good luck and things will come. You don't have to rush what's not in your comfort zone yet. Let yourself figure out what you want (life, women, etc. It's not a race). You most likely are growing in ways that those girls aren't. Most likely you know exactly what you are and what you want. Eventually you will find it. And being a virgin at tweny from what I hear is no big deal anymore. You'd be surprised how many there really are. I bet you some of your peers who claim that they aren't virgins most likely are..
Hope this helps..Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself. Your still very young..Atleast you know for sure your disease free...
Smp
Last edited by supermanpansy; 11-06-2011 at 12:56 PM..
Listen, man, 7 years and you still aint got nothing? Not even a kiss? How are you approaching these women? Based on how you describe yourself, you would be one of the least interesting guys to any girl your age.
Girls in their early 20's, like guys who are loud, cocky, douche baggish, muscular and CONFIDENT, even if they are totally full of crap, as long as they know how to to sweet talk these females, they are the ones getting the girls.
Are you a nerdy type? Nerds are very unattractive, even I can't stand these dudes that talk about computers and games all day, what a turn off!
You need to be more of a pimp, get some nice club shirts, a nice cologne, get a haircut at a salon, if you wear glasses, they need to go!, a nice car would not hurt either, start hitting the gym and work on those muscles, once you start pumping some iron HARDCORE, you will start feeling better about yourself, then, everything will come to you naturally.
Also, you need to spend some time on Askmen.com, right now your game is 0, you need to learn about female psychology, what they like, how they like it, and what not.
You need a total transformation if you want a nice female by your side, BUT never tell a girl that you are a virgin, most girls your age would think you are a total freak.
So, when are you starting? I want you to post updates to this thread periodically like "OK, today I saw a pretty girl, I asked her wassup, we went out and I got lucky". Come on man, you have a lot of work to do!
Seems like my track record. I am over 40 and have never been aroused by women, thus I too am a virgin. Over time you lose interest in women and your quality of life seems to be better than guys chasing tail or married and trapped.
It seems like it takes way too much work and sacrifice just to get a girlfriend. If you don't have a huge wallet and a huge penis, then girls don't want anything to do with you. thats why I gave up on women.
It seems like it takes way too much work and sacrifice just to get a girlfriend. If you don't have a huge wallet and a huge penis, then girls don't want anything to do with you. thats why I gave up on women.
I mean, if you have nothing to offer a woman, do you expect them to be fighting over you?
It has nothing to do with money or having a huge penis, most women want guys who are interesting, confident and have something to offer them, I don't blame them, because I also want a woman who is interesting, confident and has something to offer me.
If I was woman, I would feel the same way, who wants to be with someone who is not confident, boring, uninteresting, socially awkward, emotionally immature or someone who talks about computers and games all day long.
Of course, it takes a lot of work to get a good woman, but once you get it, it is worth it!
I agree with Supermanpansy. Maybe you could try to find women your age that are as mature as you or you could aim for older ones.
On what your "focus group" of women said, the first three are actually very good traits to have. The fourth one is not a problem either. I think you should aim for a woman who thinks for herself, and doesn't base her decisions/opinions on what others value. It may not seem like a big deal initially. But over time... She'll want a huge wedding ring because other women have them. And, then a huge house because other women have them. And then an expensive car because that's what other women have. Get what I mean?
The fifth one, living with your mother, does carry a stigma in this country, unfortunately. Although, now with a bad economy, I wonder if many guys your age are also living at home. Maybe you could not mention it early on.
On approaching women, I think for a shy, quiet guy, going up to women who don't know you is really hard and maybe not the way to go. I think it is hard even for men who are not shy. Women are conditioned to be a little leery of men we don't know.
Perhpas you can do things that interest you and try new activities/hobbies. For example, you could learn to play a musical instrument. One time when I was in school, I was at a talent show for some cause. There was a guy hanging around, who seemed shy, nerdy and non-descript. It turns out that he was one of the performers. He got on stage and played this jazzy piece of music really well. Several women went up to him afterwards and complimented him. It takes years to become good at playing music but it is really rewarding in more ways than one.
Another example, I have taken tennis classes for beginners. There are mostly women in those classes, sometimes only one guy. People in the class are always looking for partners to hit balls with and practice.
I think you need to find things to do where you'll see the same women for days or weeks or months at a time. That way you'll have something to talk about, an excuse to get together to talk, and you'll know if whether they are available.
Listen, man, 7 years and you still aint got nothing? Not even a kiss? How are you approaching these women? Based on how you describe yourself, you would be one of the least interesting guys to any girl your age.
Girls in their early 20's, like guys who are loud, cocky, douche baggish, muscular and CONFIDENT, even if they are totally full of crap, as long as they know how to to sweet talk these females, they are the ones getting the girls.
Are you a nerdy type? Nerds are very unattractive, even I can't stand these dudes that talk about computers and games all day, what a turn off!
You need to be more of a pimp, get some nice club shirts, a nice cologne, get a haircut at a salon, if you wear glasses, they need to go!, a nice car would not hurt either, start hitting the gym and work on those muscles, once you start pumping some iron HARDCORE, you will start feeling better about yourself, then, everything will come to you naturally.
Also, you need to spend some time on Askmen.com, right now your game is 0, you need to learn about female psychology, what they like, how they like it, and what not.
You need a total transformation if you want a nice female by your side, BUT never tell a girl that you are a virgin, most girls your age would think you are a total freak.
So, when are you starting? I want you to post updates to this thread periodically like "OK, today I saw a pretty girl, I asked her wassup, we went out and I got lucky". Come on man, you have a lot of work to do!
Excellent advice. Don't focus on anything like having an interesting life or an accomplished life, girls really don't care about it. Just buy some nice shirts and get swole
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