Typical divorce split?

[2mares]

Originally Posted by BigV

Husband making X per year before marriage. Wife did not bring any income and was a stay at home throughout whole marriage. (Approx 15 yrs). Two kids. Now husband is making 2X. They live in Il. I understand their problems are bigger than finances but husband (my buddy) is wondering about finances at this time. They are immigrant family limited English.

Thanks all

Look up divorce law for the state. They will usually have an on-line child support calculator. CS is based on what he is currently earning. Not sure about alimony. It is suppose to be based on standard of living during the marriage. If he can get shared custody, meaning equal amount of time, he should not have to pay any CS or very little.

[ohio_peasant]

Reputable divorce attorneys will offer a free 1-hour initial consultation. Prepare a statement of assets and income, what belonged to which partner before the marriage, what was gained during the marriage, pensions and so forth. The attorney should give a rough estimate of "worst case scenario".

Amicable divorce is also possible. The OP's buddy's predicament reminds me of what happened to my former marriage. My former spouse and I were able to reach amicable dissolution. The split in assets was still expensive (to me), but vastly less expensive than what would have happened in a court-adjudicated 50/50 split.

[Ted Bear]

I had written a fairly sensible response which outlined the challenges which your friend is likely to face, but because I explained that some women can be real B's in this sort of situation, and others can be absolute gems to deal with, the monitor here didn't understand that I was trying to explain the behaviors which might enter into the picture and she didn't understand that I wasn't slandering either sex nor bashing any gender. Monitor: if you don't understand what I am writing about ASK before you get out the red pen.

Version two: Some women have this whole 'thing' worked out to a "T". Marry the climber, make sure you rope him in with a couple of kids, get lots of portable assets ( jewelry, cash, gold) and then, when you think the guy has peaked in earnings, dump him and take everything you can get. The OP was sort of blind sided by his spouses' wanting a divorce, but no, it is not all that rare, nor unusual, and no, there is no cajoling his way back into her heart. Her plan does not include that.

Other women, and men, simply get to a point in life where, for whatever reason, their marriage is not fulfilling. They choose, for whatever reason, to move on.

To answer you question about what the man can expect, financially, let's deal with situation two first. She is likely to be calm and understanding, and open to having a rational conversation about splitting assets. The man will pay some alimony, and a decent amount of child support, but the woman won't take his business, his retirement, the assets which came through his family, nor an unrealistic amount of the assets which were accumulated during the marriage.
If a rational conversation is out of the realm of possibilities ( and he should do everything reasonable to settle things without lawyers and a HUGE battles) then he needs to get ready for a vile battle which has no rational basis. It is much better for him to think in terms of settling all issues if he can come close to a 50/50 split. Forget about the things which are close to his heart (the sports car, the ski house, the boat, the pool table in the den, etc.)

TBC