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You didn't have to answer the question if you didn't want to, you know.
But thank you..i guess.
I'm confused by your analogy.
I mean, penetration is used for man-woman sex, and its used for woman-woman/man-man sex..so why does that make it any less than "real" sex? The only difference is the parts that are used..improvisation.
I'm not trying to change your mind..i just like arguing my opinions. Like everyone else, i'm sure.
I mean, penetration is used for man-woman sex, and its used for woman-woman/man-man sex..so why does that make it any less than "real" sex? The only difference is the parts that are used..improvisation.
...well, if you want a comparison between "real" sex, and same-sex sex, and you state the only difference is the parts that are used by way of improvisation, would that not be construed as ...toys? to go further couldn't you agrue that anytime you play with a toy, your having sex by yourself? Further than that... i wouldn't see same-sex relationships as sex per se, I would see it as you stated, improvisation, playing with toys. Just because someone is there while you are "toying" yourself, does not mean they are having sex with you? *shrug* You can't really go into detail without violating the TOS, with graphic content, hehe. But a mod's gonna come slap us on our wrists if we don't stick to the topic at hand
...well, if you want a comparison between "real" sex, and same-sex sex, and you state the only difference is the parts that are used by way of improvisation, would that not be construed as ...toys? to go further couldn't you agrue that anytime you play with a toy, your having sex by yourself? Further than that... i wouldn't see same-sex relationships as sex per se, I would see it as you stated, improvisation, playing with toys. Just because someone is there while you are "toying" yourself, does not mean they are having sex with you? *shrug* You can't really go into detail without violating the TOS, with graphic content, hehe. But a mod's gonna come slap us on our wrists if we don't stick to the topic at hand
If two people are sharing themselves with each other and the intimacy is at that level and it involves those parts of their bodies (sorry--that last part sounds a little stupid, to say the least), I figure that should qualify as sex. For you, as a heterosexual (assumption) to decide that their sex is less real than yours is homophobic, IMO. It is also naive to think that heterosexual couples don't engage in other types of sex besides...what many people consider the default. (Not sure why I'm trying so hard not to violate TOS, since I imagine this conversation will be halted for being off-topic or something ridiculous like that).
Thanks for the assumptions, buildings_and_bridges, and for the homophobicly inclined assumptions I suppose.. but let's try to stay on topic for the OPs sake shall we?
I think everyone's right carlie, you're doing the right thing by giving her the space she needs, for whatever reason. You are both still young, and the greatest part about life is having the time to really find out who you are, before tying yourself emotionally/physically/dependantly to someone else.
Apparently, she's had a girlfriend for a few days now..and just hasn't gotten around to telling me. I approached her last night and asked her why she's been avoiding talking to me. She said that she "found someone else", but she didn't want to tell me because i have a past with self-mutilation. I'd never cut myself for her, or anyone, no one is worth that anymore. Its difficult to believe thats actually the reason she didn't tell me.
My guess is that she's just ridiculously immature.
I guess you were all right. I should have just given her the space she asked for, because now, i'm getting pretty close to hating her.
Is it wrong to hate someone for moving on this quickly? I understand its her life..and i know we don't love each other anymore..but..i just find it very disrespectful towards what we had before.
The fact that yeseterday's post you loved her to death, and she was a big part of your life that you were going to mold and shape around her... and now you hate her guts because she is with someone else, says a lot.
Look at the 2 extremes, and try to do what's right in this situation. We will give you sympathy, we will give our condolences, for you have joined the ranks of the crushed, and dumped for someone else. Don't hate her, if you truly cared for her, you would see through your selfishness and be happy for her, to have found someone else to be with, and on a side note, be thankful, because if she's happier with someone else, that means you two weren't right for eachother (no matter what you may of thought or fantasized), and you are both moving closer towards finding the person that IS right for you in your life.
You are still young. Don't hate her, don't hate yourself. Live and let live, and keep learning as you go. Its much easier to battle the justifacation of things that happen to you on a daily basis, if you drop the harsh black and white lens first. You're both living in the same world, yet altered by the perception that you have made your own, whether it is from your own circumstances, environment, etc... so if you are truly unhappy right now, don't lay the blame on someone else. Change things up. Go exploring, go buy a new pair of shoes, go take a crash course in paintballing... anything. But go find YOU as yourself, not as an appendage of someone you care for.
And to answer your question: No, I don't think you ever truly stop loving someone.
Last edited by Marylandkitten; 11-28-2007 at 07:38 AM..
I suppose i shouldn't have used the word "hate". I know that if she said she was sorry and wanted to be friends..i know i'd be ok with that.
And..i never said i "loved her to death" yesterday..if i did i meant it in a purely platonic way. I don't think i could ever love her like that again, period.
She was a big part of my life that i wanted to build my future around. Past tense. I said yesterday that before you can be the love of someone's life, you have to have a life of your own first. I also never said i hated her guts, i just said i hated her. Which, i probably don't..i'm just..ridiculously angry.
This happened to me twice. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me and two days later found a boyfriend, now my most recent ex has done the same. I think something must be wrong with me, that i keep looking for people like this..and i don't see that they are this way until the very end.
I just want to forget about her, she's lied to me too much recently.
Hate her/Forget about her if you want... but don't forget the lesson learned.
I've said it in regards to a different thread here recently though. It's not a very mature love, if you can hit both ends of the spectrum so flippantly without remorse.
You pride yourself on being more mature, remember?
Not really. I know that i'm mature for my age. I am flawed, and i have my irrational moments. I think i will just forget her, so i can remember that relationship with some degree of fondness. Thanks for the advice.
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