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The real question is why would a younger woman want to date an older guy? In many cases it's for financial support.
Never mind the possible maturity, stability, less willing to step out on them and hell maybe that small chance they may love them. Sure there are gold diggers coming to a relationship with a pick axe in one hand and a book on panning for gold in the other but not all women are after money.
If an older man goes for a much-younger woman because of her youth and beauty, and she goes for him because of his money, these two are probably well-suited for each other.
I have an older male friend, very wealthy. Serious health problems. He doesn't want to get married, have children, or even live with anyone, and yet he refuses to date women his own age because they "remind him of his grandmother". He goes for hot young twentysomethings, and every damned time, they take him -- and his wallet -- for a ride.
He gets all butthurt about it, refusing to face the reality he's old, in poor health, and doesn't even have a future to offer. I wouldn't date a guy like this, even if he were my age, healthy, and middle-class. Does he really think that PYTs want to be his arm candy without getting something ($$$) in return for it? He's still alone, and chances are almost 100 percent he'll die alone.
The op asks why men date younger women and then says she'd date an older man because he's mature and stable.
Men date younger women because they can. Simple. Because younger women, like the op for example, say yes to older men.
When an older woman dates younger men we say "Good for her!"..When a man does it it's because he wants someone he can control.
It's in our DNA to chase young, fertile women. It's in the DNA of women to chase after mature, stable men. What's so hard to understand?
If that was the case we would see mostly older men/younger women relationships. We don't, we see mostly people marrying within a few years of their age.
If that was the case we would see mostly older men/younger women relationships. We don't, we see mostly people marrying within a few years of their age.
ITA, I don't think that these relationships typically last the long-haul, unless the older man is really rich. Some women will make extraordinary compromises, e.g., marrying a partner they are attracted to sexually, for financial security.
When I was 19, I was engaged to a man who much older, and it was an epic FAIL. None of the guys were "mature" enough for me, so initially, this older guy had a certain appeal. But over time, I realized just how little we had in common -- we were from disparate generations. I didn't "get" his music, his politics, his friends, his goals. He wanted to get married -- 19 is a ridiculous age to marry, I think we'll all agree -- and I wanted to finish college and start a career. We were just at two different places.
It's in the DNA of women to chase after mature, stable men.
No, it's not. It's in the DNA of women to chase after young, strong, fertile men. The sperm of young men is in much better shape than that of older men. It's more likely to produce healthy, robust offspring.
If an older man goes for a much-younger woman because of her youth and beauty, and she goes for him because of his money, these two are probably well-suited for each other.
I have an older male friend, very wealthy. Serious health problems. He doesn't want to get married, have children, or even live with anyone, and yet he refuses to date women his own age because they "remind him of his grandmother". He goes for hot young twentysomethings, and every damned time, they take him -- and his wallet -- for a ride.
He gets all butthurt about it, refusing to face the reality he's old, in poor health, and doesn't even have a future to offer. I wouldn't date a guy like this, even if he were my age, healthy, and middle-class. Does he really think that PYTs want to be his arm candy without getting something ($$$) in return for it? He's still alone, and chances are almost 100 percent he'll die alone.
I actually feel compassion for him.
You miss a key point though Melissa.... For a lot of men, it's about the ride, not the destination. They don't really care about any "death bed" revelations, and they know it won't last. In the meantime, they are satisfying their hunger and that's all that counts to them. I know many men just like this and in fact they purposely gave up the long stable marriage to go chase women and had no regrets. As one ole retired political (can't mention names here) womanizer put it to me once....."keep a monkey around long enough and you're bound to get attached to it. I asked him to elaborate and he stated, that if you stay with even a bad woman long enough you get attached and begin to think you can't let her go. So I date em, then basically pay them to leave. And he was fine with living like that.
ITA, I don't think that these relationships typically last the long-haul, unless the older man is really rich. Some women will make extraordinary compromises, e.g., marrying a partner they are attracted to sexually, for financial security.
When I was 19, I was engaged to a man who much older, and it was an epic FAIL. None of the guys were "mature" enough for me, so initially, this older guy had a certain appeal. But over time, I realized just how little we had in common -- we were from disparate generations. I didn't "get" his music, his politics, his friends, his goals. He wanted to get married -- 19 is a ridiculous age to marry, I think we'll all agree -- and I wanted to finish college and start a career. We were just at two different places.
I dated a few considerably older men and they all failed because we had little in common. I was in my early 20's and it was a cool thing to have a much older boyfriend but eventually within a few months the attraction disappeared and we had nothing in common.
No, it's not. It's in the DNA of women to chase after young, strong, fertile men. The sperm of young men is in much better shape than that of older men. It's more likely to produce healthy, robust offspring.
I know, I am tired of reading that women chase after older men. The times I dated older men were not because I was chasing them. I certainly didn't look for older men for stability, I depend on myself for that.
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