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Why not... it's anonymous. What could anyone possibly have to gain by lying here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
But I think the question is flawed because it's being answered by an array of people in different types and kinds of relationships. Y
See, I am interested in your answers and the way that you think. It is as if you slightly want to impose your way of thinking or that you are surprised others think differently. I could be wrong.
How can the answers be flawed when cheating is cheating no matter the situation? I am not attacking but I want to know how you can't understand that people will not be honest? There are people that can chew gum and dance at the same time. Don't men get a lap dance and go right home to kiss the wife with genuine love? I can't imagine that you have been sheltered to not have seen these things happening. So where does that absolute way of thinking come from?
How can the answers be flawed when cheating is cheating no matter the situation? I am not attacking but I want to know how you can't understand that people will not be honest? There are people that can chew gum and dance at the same time. Don't men get a lap dance and go right home to kiss the wife with genuine love? I can't imagine that you have been sheltered to not have seen these things happening. So where does that absolute way of thinking come from?
Do you consider that cheating? Maybe this hypothetical couple doesn't.
See, I am interested in your answers and the way that you think. It is as if you slightly want to impose your way of thinking or that you are surprised others think differently. I could be wrong.
How can the answers be flawed when cheating is cheating no matter the situation? I am not attacking but I want to know how you can't understand that people will not be honest? There are people that can chew gum and dance at the same time. Don't men get a lap dance and go right home to kiss the wife with genuine love? I can't imagine that you have been sheltered to not have seen these things happening. So where does that absolute way of thinking come from?
Nah, I don't care if people think the way I think. The world would be boring if that were the case I just take issue with being called a liar (albeit indirectly) because I have never cheated and the reason is because when I am with a man and love him, I don't care about other men. There are people saying that we basically must be hiding the truth because they think they could cheat and I must be just like them. It annoys me.
I said the question is flawed because some people are looking at it though the lens of a causal relationship and some are looking at it though the lens of a long-term committed relationship. Yes, it's just my opinion, but I think the people who are more casual can more easily conceive of cheating because of the nature of their relationships. More so than those who have been in love and been in a committed relationship with a another person 10, 15, 20, or 25 years.
By the way, going to a strip club isn't infidelity. Neither is a man looking at another woman or a woman looking at other men, etc. We are all human and have our weaknesses. But cheating is an action that takes that extra leap that some people just aren't capable of... sure some people are. But a lot of people aren't. Not sure why that's so hard to understand and why it's assumed people who don't are somehow liars or naive.
By the way, going to a strip club isn't infidelity. Neither is a man looking at another woman or a woman looking at other men, etc. We are all human and have our weaknesses. But cheating is an action that takes that extra leap that some people just aren't capable of... sure some people are. But a lot of people aren't. Not sure why that's so hard to understand and why it's assumed people who don't are somehow liars or naive.
See, there you go again- respecfully speaking. There is so much absoluteness in that way of thinking. How can you go to a strip club, watch another person undress, get a few lap dances, become aroused in the champaigne room (and no, no, no- there is no "well, you can go but you can't do this or that at a strip club") We can't make up our own rules now. That is where "we are human and have our weaknesses" come to play as you stated.
See, there you go again- respecfully speaking. There is so much absoluteness in that way of thinking. How can you go to a strip club, watch another person undress, get a few lap dances, become aroused in the champaigne room (and no, no, no- there is no "well, you can go but you can't do this or that at a strip club") We can't make up our own rules now. That is where "we are human and have our weaknesses" come to play as you stated.
Well, I am going by the literal definition that cheating on someone is coitus. I venture to say if you said someone cheated on his wife or cheated on her husband, the first thing they are going to think of is sex... not that a good looking person of the opposite sex walked by and a head was turned.
So maybe that also makes the question fuzzy... if someone answer yes, they would cheat because they think going to a strip club for a bachelor party is cheating... and another person says no because they think cheating involves actual sex then they are essentially answering two different questions.
If Beyonce was sitting next to me on an airplane, and she thought I was JZ, and she thought the plane was going down, I would not rule out the possibility that I would be an active participant in that scenario.
None of those options describes how I feel. I don't cheat on my husband because no man measures up to him in my eyes. It wouldn't be worth it - I'd be losing the best man I know for someone of lesser value to me.
I don't cheat because it only takes one man to drive me up a wall, and the aggravation of multiple men is exponentially more than the sum of their parts (ie, two men bring four times the aggravation, four men bring 16 times the aggravation, and so on, and so on, and so on).
Not in a relationship right now, but when I have been....
d- According to your family or moral standards, it is bad to cheat and you abide by all moral values, standards, and principles
f-Even though you want to cheat and think about it sometimes, you refer to morals to keep you at bay
Not sure the difference here... I wouldn't say I want to cheat, but I'm certainly attracted to others. My mind never goes so far as to fantasize about cheating.
It is my personal moral code that prevents me pondering this. The breaking of the promise to both your SO & yourself (and perhaps God) is a crime to me. It's lying & betrayal, among other things.
a- It is out of fear that if they find out it may hurt the other person, or damage your relationship, and or alter your life (being lonely)
I don't FEAR it, I FEEL it. I empathize with others. I know what emotional pain is and do not desire to inflict it needlessly on someone else. This too is a part of my morality. I also do value the relationship enough and respect the person enough to not betray them.
e- you would cheat but there is too much drama and expenses that come with cheating I wouldn't cheat, but this is not something I am unaware of. Too much trouble.
g- You truly and really have no desire to be with another person sexually despite the possibilities of
promiscuity and cheating being in our genes according so some “research”
h- You truly and really have no desire to be with another person sexually despite our natural curiosity or tendency to fantasize about others or celebrities
When with an SO, I do truly do not desire another partner. This does not mean I do not note others are attractive and never fantasize (but do so considerably less), but a real desire to act is not there.
You might be interested to know there is as much research out there showing we are "wired" to pair-bond long-term with partners. Some of this shows evidence that when men are in a monogamous LTR they show a lot of signs of instinctively turning away from attractive women and not responding to them the way single men do (ie not showing physical signs of interest/arousal, not being more alter to ovulating women as single men are, even being turned OFF by ovulating women). The idea that men are wired to "spread seed" is supported by all the research out there, and it especially doesn't make sense when you consider the emotional & physical vulnerability of human infants & small children. The father needs to stick around to care for his offspring. THAT is in the better interests of the specie's survival. Anyway, some google searches will lead you to this research.
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I just take issue with being called a liar (albeit indirectly) because I have never cheated and the reason is because when I am with a man and love him, I don't care about other men. There are people saying that we basically must be hiding the truth because they think they could cheat and I must be just like them. It annoys me. 
