Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've posted in here a bit the last couple months. I moved in with my gf who has three kids. It's awesome I love it but why do I let **** bother me. She's amazing but she will come up to me and rub my crotch and it's affectionate and fun and she says it keeps things fun and it does but then I immediate think did she do this with the father of the kids? Why does it bother me? Past is the past but I can't get over these stupid things that I never cared about before when we met but now that I moved in and care and love her more this **** ruins my mood causing me not to be myself. She picks up on it and I've talked about it but don't want her to know it bothers me because I love everything she does it's just my way of thinking.
Is this woman the first woman you ever had sex with?
If not, why is it okay that you had some other woman rubbing your junk, but it's not cool that she might've been affectionate toward another dude?
Man... do you realize how weird that is?
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
She only keeps things fun with you because it's her nature. If she hadn't done these things before, she probably wouldn't be with you, at least she wouldn't be initiating the idea. Learn to enjoy what's happening now - the past is gone, can't be changed, and can only ruin your future if you obsess about it. Maybe you could consider individual counseling, or just take up meditation - both can help.
Orr....
Perhaps she's a person who is affectionate and sweet and was married to someone that she really couldn't be that way with, but now she's with the OP and feels like she can really be herself?
In that case, he needs to quit obsessing over a dude that she admits was horrible toward her and start being happy that she feels so free around him.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
I think you need to layoff the guy. At least he admits he has a problem and is looking for advice to fix it. That's more than I can say for most people.
I agree with you, he can be commended for seeking help. However he has moved into a home with 3 kids and a gf with a past. Do you think he maybe should have thought about this prior to moving in? Do you think she should have considered the fact he was young prior to having him move in?
The problem is people simply don't think through the ramifications of their actions. They believe love will conquer all when that isn't the reality.
I personally think he should move out while he sorts out his feelings about her having an ex husband and all that that entails, inclusing the fact she's had sex with him on more than one occasion and that as the father of her kids, he will always have some place in that family's life. These are serious issues that have a profound effect on the innocent parties here, namely the 3 children.
And Ro it's a forum, if someone asks a question or poses a predicament they are eliciting responses, both good and bad.
1. If you're not reasonably sure you want to marry this woman, don't move into a house with 3 kids that will start to love you and think of you as a father figure, only to lose you when the relationship turns bad.
2. This inecurity problem of yours is part of the human condition, you just learn to get over it as you get older. A lot of the people here like to act tough, but it crosses everyones mind when they're 26.
3. Don't listen to women talk about how men have double standards..Just as many women have this problem as men. Pretty much every woman I've been with wanted to disect my past, and then get bent out of shape because I did this or that with an ex.
p.s. It is your problem tho', not hers. Don't lean on her to say and do things to stroke your ego and make you feel better. Realize that it's a stupid problem you have and deal with it.
I've posted in here a bit the last couple months. I moved in with my gf who has three kids. It's awesome I love it but why do I let **** bother me. She's amazing but she will come up to me and rub my crotch and it's affectionate and fun and she says it keeps things fun and it does but then I immediate think did she do this with the father of the kids? Why does it bother me? Past is the past but I can't get over these stupid things that I never cared about before when we met but now that I moved in and care and love her more this **** ruins my mood causing me not to be myself. She picks up on it and I've talked about it but don't want her to know it bothers me because I love everything she does it's just my way of thinking.
Every one you meet has had a life before they met you. Try to live in the present, because now she is with you. Enjoy her company, plan for the future. Why harp on the past, it's gone and you can't change it?
Yes, the issue is not the kids. I treat the kids like they are mine with love and niceness but I don't discipline unless they get really bad or do something to make the mom cry. I make them feel bad for making there mom cry and I always ask them to do stuff to help mommy out.
They are going to have issues no matter what with parents splitting the oldest who is 9 rebels but anyways I'm talking about me and the mothers relationship.
She is not the first woman I've had sex with and these feelings or thoughts only just starting occurring but I think I'm getting over it and I really over analyze and worry way to much about **** I can't control. So thank you for the advice, I was looking for ways to try and not think about it and someone said she has a past and if u break up with her the next person has a past also so just suck it up and I'll be the goofy crazy guy I am instead of the Debbie downer
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
