Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Online is a good place to get to know a girl first without the awkwardness of trying to do it in person. Talk about your interests, likes, dislikes, this-n-that, exchange pics, maybe call each other, and if you hit it off, meet up for lunch. If it clicks, dinner and a movie, your treat. Don't let them think you are cheap. Then just take it from there. When its the right one, it'll come very easily. Happened for my son, and it'll happen for you. Give it time. Things happen when they're meant to.
Not doing online dating. I tried it and its a waste of time. At least with what I'm trying now I get a response from the women I talk to. My understanding of why online dating didn't work for me is that its not really normal for women my age to be using it. It would possibly work better if I was older.
So far sitting around and "letting it happen" and using online dating have not worked at all. I really want to try going out and meeting women but I just don't know what to do.
I have experience with women mostly in high school though. High school was really easy for me to meet people because everyone knew everyone.
This chick was looking at me the whole time, asking me questions, checking me out, and said "see you next week" when I left. I also seem to attract fat women. I have them hit on me all the time and I've had quite a few of them get pissy after I ignore them.
This right here (bolded) is one of the disconnects I was trying to get to in my previous post. You are whining about how you can't seem to "connect" with a woman in whom you have a romantic interest but you virtually slam a woman because she doesn't meet a physical expectation you have.
How about something really crazy to try? Why don't you take a step back and evaluate what you're really trying to accomplish? Do you want a relationship or do you want to basically get laid? If it's the former, then why not actually...gasp...talk to a woman you don't want to jump right away? You never know, you might be shocked that you could ever consider a relationship with a "big girl".
No, this is not a "lowered expectations" bit of advice. This is more like "remove head from anus" advice.
How about something really crazy to try? Why don't you take a step back and evaluate what you're really trying to accomplish? Do you want a relationship or do you want to basically get laid? If it's the former, then why not actually...gasp...talk to a woman you don't want to jump right away? You never know, you might be shocked that you could ever consider a relationship with a "big girl".
Or you could just be polite to her and have a friend/colleague. There's no need to ignore a person or blow her off just because you don't want to get in her pants.
This right here (bolded) is one of the disconnects I was trying to get to in my previous post. You are whining about how you can't seem to "connect" with a woman in whom you have a romantic interest but you virtually slam a woman because she doesn't meet a physical expectation you have.
How about something really crazy to try? Why don't you take a step back and evaluate what you're really trying to accomplish? Do you want a relationship or do you want to basically get laid? If it's the former, then why not actually...gasp...talk to a woman you don't want to jump right away? You never know, you might be shocked that you could ever consider a relationship with a "big girl".
No, this is not a "lowered expectations" bit of advice. This is more like "remove head from anus" advice.
--Dim
I will not date someone I am not attracted too. I'll stay single before I do that. What I want is a relationship with a woman I want to put that kind of energy into. So I do not want to just hook up and I don't want to date fat women. I see both as major turn offs actually.
As an aside I don't care what she does to her body and why she's fat. Its not my business and I don't think less of a person because of it. I just don't want to date them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Or you could just be polite to her and have a friend/colleague. There's no need to ignore a person or blow her off just because you don't want to get in her pants.
If I don't they think I like them. I've had it before where just being nice is apparently flirting. So I really have no choice but to just ignore her if she's giving me more attention than I want. This is profiling but is saves me drama, if I think a desperate looking girl is interested in me I just ignore her. I really don't want to risk her clinging on to me. Once she realizes I'm not in to her and I don't get that vibe from her we can be friends, hell I'd like to be her friend because she seems nice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeCollege
If she said "see you next week" to her lab partner, clearly she is interested.
In the context of her pretty much staring at me all lab and then singling me out when she said that is something I take it as interest. Maybe its not but as I said above I don't want to risk her clinging to me.
I think my lack of breakfast this morning has made it difficult to use words to form a logical point.
I'm not suggesting you pursue someone you don't have any attraction to whatsoever. And if, for whatever reason, overweight women are completely out of your realm of possibility, then so be it.
My point is basically this: You are analyzing every single detail, such that you are unable to really just relax and let conversation happen organically. You have mentioned several women to whom you have an attraction of some sort. At least one or two of them share a class with you, so why not use that as a starting point?
Instead of a cheesy pickup line or "game", a simple "Hey, I'm brosef and I'm wondering if I'm the only one in this class who..." The objective here is to open a dialogue with her, and a shared interest/situation is the easiest way to do so. This is a basic conversational technique--establishing a rapport based on something you have in common.
If the woman who was "staring at [you] all lab and then [singled you] out" then why not just simply introduce yourself and make a comment about the class or a project you're working on? It doesn't have to be super clever, and you don't have to go to great lengths to impress...just be you.
FTR, it's clear to me you're an intelligent guy based on what I've read so far...just relax, breathe, and the rest will happen.
So far this is how my week has been with this:
-Wednesday I talked to a girl in my literature class even though I'm not really interested just because I wanted to talk to someone. She didn't seem that interested either. In my Chem lecture I sat next to some chick who had a nice face and we started talking and she seemed into me but I'm sort of on the fence. Thinking I might find her and sit next to her again today.
-Thursday had a bit more going on. In the morning I walked past the same girl I always see in the halls. I want to say something but I don't know what to say, if I knew what to say I would. I feel this isn't like high school where I could just say hi and smile and then find her at lunch a week later you know? How do people do this? A larger chick is now assigned my lab partner and I can tell she likes me, this is probably going to get weird. Finally I girl I knew a little over a year ago is now in one of my classes and we're probably going to do homework together, there might be some potential there.
-Friday(today) I sat next to one of the limited number of good looking chicks in my math lecture. I was about 5 minutes late so we couldn't chat before the lecture. I just cracked a couple jokes when it was appropriate. She seemed to like it and elaborated on them but I had to b line out of there to move my car to avoid a ticket. I'm thinking I'll find her again on Wednesday. I thought it would be weird to ask for her number at this point.
Any input on how to do this so I can have some sort of success on the women I'm interested in?
If you didn't see my other thread the TL;DR version is I'm really bad at cold approaches and I always seem to make flirting awkward and I'm trying to fix that. I'm a student and I've managed to get myself in a situation where I rarely meet women through friends or activities and I don't like the club and party scene.
I never worried about what to talk about. I just put myself in the situation by saying hello and let my brain work it's way out from there. The closest thing I've ever had to a plan when approaching a girl is to make sure to tell her she's pretty and that I would like her number and/or a date. I can usually work out the rest as I go along. If not, I'd just tell the girl I really wanted to talk to her and thought I could work out something to say by now. In my experience, nothing is more attractive to a girl than being open, honest, and emotionally vulnerable. They love that sort of thing.
And don't worry about signs and signals. Just talk to the girls you are interested in. If you ask her out and she says yes, she's interested. If she says no, she's not interested. Nothing else will tell you her level of interest with any degree of certainty. And it's fine if you don't like clubs or parties, but if you're doing a cold approach in an environment not well suited for it prepare to get a lot more noes than yeses. But if you keep at it, you will get yeses.
I think my lack of breakfast this morning has made it difficult to use words to form a logical point.
I'm not suggesting you pursue someone you don't have any attraction to whatsoever. And if, for whatever reason, overweight women are completely out of your realm of possibility, then so be it.
My point is basically this: You are analyzing every single detail, such that you are unable to really just relax and let conversation happen organically. You have mentioned several women to whom you have an attraction of some sort. At least one or two of them share a class with you, so why not use that as a starting point?
Instead of a cheesy pickup line or "game", a simple "Hey, I'm brosef and I'm wondering if I'm the only one in this class who..." The objective here is to open a dialogue with her, and a shared interest/situation is the easiest way to do so. This is a basic conversational technique--establishing a rapport based on something you have in common.
If the woman who was "staring at [you] all lab and then [singled you] out" then why not just simply introduce yourself and make a comment about the class or a project you're working on? It doesn't have to be super clever, and you don't have to go to great lengths to impress...just be you.
FTR, it's clear to me you're an intelligent guy based on what I've read so far...just relax, breathe, and the rest will happen.
Good luck!
--Dim
Ah skipping breakfast sucks. I admit I'm guilty of that too, I feel way better now that I've had lunch.
I have been talking to the women that I share classes with and being friendly with them. I can do that and have in the past. Fortunately I got lucky and have more women in my classes. I'm not really sure if its ok to find her and repeatedly sit next to them when the only interaction we have had is friendly conversation. Anyone I have made any sort of headway with is in large lecture class with a few hundred people so I'm thinking it might be a little weird if I just happen to sit near them out of all the possible seat.
The other question I had was if how would I talk to someone I say see in the hallways or something along those lines? I see this one girl 3 times a week when we're walking past each other. I'd like to say something to her but I don't know what.
The girl that was looking at me all class is the big girl I'm not attracted to. If I become her friend that's great I just really don't want to "lead her on" because that's bad for both of us. I've accidentally done that before just by being nice and returning the favors they did for me.
I never worried about what to talk about. I just put myself in the situation by saying hello and let my brain work it's way out from there. The closest thing I've ever had to a plan when approaching a girl is to make sure to tell her she's pretty and that I would like her number and/or a date. I can usually work out the rest as I go along. If not, I'd just tell the girl I really wanted to talk to her and thought I could work out something to say by now. In my experience, nothing is more attractive to a girl than being open, honest, and emotionally vulnerable. They love that sort of thing.
And don't worry about signs and signals. Just talk to the girls you are interested in. If you ask her out and she says yes, she's interested. If she says no, she's not interested. Nothing else will tell you her level of interest with any degree of certainty. And it's fine if you don't like clubs or parties, but if you're doing a cold approach in an environment not well suited for it prepare to get a lot more noes than yeses. But if you keep at it, you will get yeses.
Maybe I just need to push the conversation more. I feel like there is a lot of awkward silence when I walk up to some girl I don't know. Its not even them trying to escape the conversation I just manage to accidentally kill it. Another one that I do and its really embarrassing is I'll grab a seat next to some girl in the student union and ask her some sort of question. She'll smile when she answers and I at least think she wants to talk but then I don't have anything else to say.
Maybe I just need to push the conversation more. I feel like there is a lot of awkward silence when I walk up to some girl I don't know. Its not even them trying to escape the conversation I just manage to accidentally kill it. Another one that I do and its really embarrassing is I'll grab a seat next to some girl in the student union and ask her some sort of question. She'll smile when she answers and I at least think she wants to talk but then I don't have anything else to say.
Awkward silence is a good opportunity to ask the girl out. After that, it doesn't matter if the conversation ends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
