Man Poses as Woman on Dating Site, Barely Lasts 2 Hours (husband, gay)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Oh. You're saying you want it all? You want to be made to feel attractive only by attractive men who are also polite. I see.
Uhhh....Are you saying you DON'T want to date attractive people who are also polite? I'm pretty sure that's what most of us want, regardless of gender.
Before anyone starts in with the "white knight" garbage, read the whole piece. This is a guy who spends a lot of time on 4chan, not exactly a bastion of feminist thought.
Here is his original account of his experience, as posted on Reddit:
Yep. I ran into a lot of that--and no, I did not post "provocative" photos or anything remotely sexual on my profiles. This is just how many men treat women on those sites (and the internet in general), why many women do not bother to send a polite "no, thank you," and why women should feel absolutely zero remorse in simply blocking men they are not interested in from the get-go, as soon as they approach.
The only time I ever had men like that was on POF. I blocked them, so it was no big deal. Of course, I met my current BF there, so it was time well spent.
Uhhh....Are you saying you DON'T want to date attractive people who are also polite? I'm pretty sure that's what most of us want, regardless of gender.
That's a whole 'nother thing.
Some of us don't even get unattractive people attracted to us.
So you shouldn't take it for granted.
Sure. Online dating might have yielded nothing productive in terms of relationships, but your saying that knowing 500+ people are attracted to you is good for nothing?
Well I'm a young guy who would really like to find a woman to spend time with and love her. I would send messages asking their name if they didn't put theirs down, I'd give them mine, ask them about their interests if what they put on their profile was vague. Never anything about sex. But my messages just got ignored. I can literally only put up with those sites for about a week tops, before it just irritates me and I delete my profile. I would never message a woman more than once either. I figured no reply means no like. Never getting replies, and I figured, well this is a 100% waste of time.
So if women have the exact opposite, get a ton of messages from a lot of guys that they don't like and don't respond to any of the messages, why even be on a dating site? Most likely you're skipping reading messages from the good guys who aren't only after sex, but actually want a relationship.
I agree with some of the other guys comments on here too. At least you're getting a lot of interest in you. If you indeed get 50-100 messages every day, you probably are getting messages from the nice guys. If you're a guy who gets no replies, and no messages, then you're not getting interest from no one. Not anyone you like or even don't.
So my question to people still using these sites is, why? Lol
I found this to be very true as well. When I first posted on an online dating site, I was a 23 year old slim fit woman, decent-looking, with a good job, childless. I met two men in particular who were great catches themselves (one of whom is my now-husband), but the rest were all trash, lots of perverted responses, vulgar, etc and for no reason other than I was a young female (I was even wearing a sweater in my picture!).
OK, I haven't done OLD yet. Trying to get my courage up to do so. I really don't want to deal with sifting through trash.
Well I'm a young guy who would really like to find a woman to spend time with and love her. I would send messages asking their name if they didn't put theirs down, I'd give them mine, ask them about their interests if what they put on their profile was vague. Never anything about sex. But my messages just got ignored. I can literally only put up with those sites for about a week tops, before it just irritates me and I delete my profile. I would never message a woman more than once either. I figured no reply means no like. Never getting replies, and I figured, well this is a 100% waste of time.
So if women have the exact opposite, get a ton of messages from a lot of guys that they don't like and don't respond to any of the messages, why even be on a dating site? Most likely you're skipping reading messages from the good guys who aren't only after sex, but actually want a relationship.
I agree with some of the other guys comments on here too. At least you're getting a lot of interest in you. If you indeed get 50-100 messages every day, you probably are getting messages from the nice guys. If you're a guy who gets no replies, and no messages, then you're not getting interest from no one. Not anyone you like or even don't.
So my question to people still using these sites is, why? Lol
I think if you like someone and they don't answer, it's probably worth it to try again. When you get a lot of messages... sometimes it's not that you are ignoring them, it's just that you don't have time to read and respond to all of them. You might have an hour to check messages and if your box has 120, that's 30 seconds each... tops. If one is interesting and you spend 10 minutes replying, well, you might not get to message 119 or 120 before you have to log out. And then the next day, there are that many more. God forbid you go away for a weekend and open up your inbox I went away for a week long trip once while I was on Match... it was crazy when I came back.
What I am saying, it might not be a purposeful ignore, your message might just have been over looked. It's the online equivalent of speaking up a second time to see if you were heard.
I say this because one thing I noticed as a woman doing OLD... the first couple of weeks you are online, the messages are the worst (as far as volume and inappropriateness). After a that it dies down a bit to a more manageable number. There can still be a lot of messages, but it's nothing like the first couple of weeks.
Heck, if this thing with the man I am dating now doesn't work out and I go back to OLD... I might just create a profile with no picture and little detail and let it sit there for a few weeks until the "new" wears off. Then fill in with pictures and detail and start looking. Like the article said, men do indeed start messaging you before you even have a picture up or detail--it's obvious they are just spamming anyone who is female. I figure if I do it that way, it will weed a lot of those out.
I had this problem and it disgusted me. While the men I met were all decent (at least this time around)the others were complete trash. Even on the religious sites I had perverts. One guy even said he was looking for a wife but I was too hot for that so I was just the sex type (whatever that means). I blocked him. I had guys who didn't read my profile. I am fit, then I was 39, childless, Christian (Catholic specifically) and an educated professional. I wanted the same but the majority of the guys were either morbidly obese, much older, dads and non Christians. Many men had poor grammar as well. One guy seemed nice until he admitted he hit previous girlfriends and saw nothing wrong with it. This guy was a racist too.
My pictures were moderate, nothing sexy. No cleavage shots or sexy poses.
What's being conveyed is that attention from unattractive men is an extreme nuisance.
Well. It's part of the game really you see. In order to get attention from attractive men, the nuisance is something you have to deal with.
Would people rather have ZERO attention from both unattractive and attractive members of the opposite sex?
What it seems is that people just want attention from the attractive people. Well, it doesn't work that way. You either get a mix or nothing.
It's not unattractive men per say... it's getting messages from men who aren't really looking to date. How can a man know what a woman is like before she has a profile or even pictures up? It's more akin to spamming. And if you could see these "messages." It's things like.
"sup"
"hey sexy"
"how r u?"
"hey"
"3-some?"
It's like they are cutting and pasting off those candy Valentines Hearts or something. Then you have the men who live 300 miles away... or they are men literally twice my age... etc.
Honestly, it's really not much different from getting "no" messages... because they really aren't messages or even serious dating prospects and they result in no dates (and are a big time sink to boot). I rather have ZERO messages because it's the same outcome, except I don't have to put up with verbal bashing from men who get mad because they were the 10th to IM you and it took you 60 seconds to get back to him and I don't have to waste an hour of my life reading "sup" a million times.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I went away for a week long trip once while I was on Match... it was crazy when I came back. 
