Help, I can't seem to end a long term relationship!! (dating, married)

[pattytis27]

I have been in a weird "relationship" since the year 2000, I can't seem to get him to leave me alone. We have never lived together, but he comes over mostly on the weekends now and we barely even hold a conversation. He usually comes over and just lets himself in and we might hold a 10 minute conversation mainly about the weather or various construction jobs he has been working on,(Boring) and then he will go in the living room, while I just continue to do the housework, facebook, laundry, ect, hoping he doesn't want to stay overnight! I work a 40 hour week, Mon-Fri, so I tell him I am too busy during the week to see him and he seems to be ok with this, I figured he would get tired of this and move on, but he doesn't. I cannot do the confrontation thing and just tell him how I feel, I cannot do the face to face thing! I am thinking of writing a letter and sending it to him. I can't believe he just keeps hanging around hoping that someday I will have time for him, I would much rather be alone. We have not been intimate for at least 8 or 9 months. I think I should just write a letter, I just want to feel free!! Patty

[JRittle123]

Originally Posted by pattytis27

I have been in a weird "relationship" since the year 2000, I can't seem to get him to leave me alone. We have never lived together, but he comes over mostly on the weekends now and we barely even hold a conversation. He usually comes over and just lets himself in and we might hold a 10 minute conversation mainly about the weather or various construction jobs he has been working on,(Boring) and then he will go in the living room, while I just continue to do the housework, facebook, laundry, ect, hoping he doesn't want to stay overnight! I work a 40 hour week, Mon-Fri, so I tell him I am too busy during the week to see him and he seems to be ok with this, I figured he would get tired of this and move on, but he doesn't. I cannot do the confrontation thing and just tell him how I feel, I cannot do the face to face thing! I am thinking of writing a letter and sending it to him. I can't believe he just keeps hanging around hoping that someday I will have time for him, I would much rather be alone. We have not been intimate for at least 8 or 9 months. I think I should just write a letter, I just want to feel free!! Patty

idk what this has to do with seattle area forums but I'll give you my 2 cents anyway...

Be honest with him. Don't like confrontation?.... GET OVER IT and learn to like it. Writing a note is a cowards way out. If you don't wanna be with him then just simply tell him. It's that simple. Don't make your life harder than it has to be.

[kwoods49]

What??????????? I'm fairly new to the forum also and am looking for advise and information by well informed people about Washington. Does this fall into that category? You evidently enjoy the drama because you have encouraged something if this has been going on since 2000. If you can't do the "face to face" then I guess you can do this for another 14 years. Absurd in my opinon.

[midwest61021]

Originally Posted by pattytis27

I have been in a weird "relationship" since the year 2000, I can't seem to get him to leave me alone. We have never lived together, but he comes over mostly on the weekends now and we barely even hold a conversation. He usually comes over and just lets himself in and we might hold a 10 minute conversation mainly about the weather or various construction jobs he has been working on,(Boring) and then he will go in the living room, while I just continue to do the housework, facebook, laundry, ect, hoping he doesn't want to stay overnight! I work a 40 hour week, Mon-Fri, so I tell him I am too busy during the week to see him and he seems to be ok with this, I figured he would get tired of this and move on, but he doesn't. I cannot do the confrontation thing and just tell him how I feel, I cannot do the face to face thing! I am thinking of writing a letter and sending it to him. I can't believe he just keeps hanging around hoping that someday I will have time for him, I would much rather be alone. We have not been intimate for at least 8 or 9 months. I think I should just write a letter, I just want to feel free!! Patty

GROW a backbone and tell him the TRUTH!
I get that you're timid and afraid of confrontation, but it's high time you tell him to look else where!
You could just have a male co-worker present on the night he usually comes by as a deterrent, but that wouldn't be fair to your co-worker.

[Molli]

Are you afraid of him? Afraid he will hurt you? If so, there must be a hotline you can call in your area for assistance with this.

[PollyGlott]

I am mystified as to why the OP is posting on the WA forum - not only because her issue belongs in "Relationships", but because she posted this on the Colorado Springs forum: I will be relocating to Colorado Springs in May 2014 from Maine, with 3 dogs, will I be able to find a house to rent??
Colorado Springs? Maine? Relationship problem? And you post on Seattle's forum? I don't get it!

[kwoods49]

I agree with you PollyGlott. I search this forum looking for useful information about relocating to Washington and I have been very pleased and grateful for the intelligent & knowledgeable information kind people have shared with me, but this is over the top and a waste of space on this board. I second your comment " I don't get it".

[Minntoaz]

Hilarious. Obviously you'll live a mediocre live until you can face your problems and get over your fear of man.

[BellevueNative]

Well, I guess moving to Colorado Springs will take care of the problem????????

[eskercurve]

Sounds like romance made in heaven!

In all seriousness sounds like you two are in the married but not married state. Basically ... start dating another man. He will get the point.