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The older I get, the less I'm willing to wait (and I've never waited long whether seeking a casual or serious relationship). And if the waiting is based in a desire to create a different impression than she'd otherwise present or has presented in the past, that seems false and manipulative. It doesn't matter, though, since I'm not likely to wait, as in my experience there are always other excellent matches to be found soon.
Do as you wish, wait if you want, and I'll make my own choices too. We will either match and mesh, or we will not.
I have similar thoughts. I wouldn't overtly question a woman's motives for waiting longer than I'm emotionally comfortable waiting, but my discomfort would signal to me that we're not so compatible. At that point, bringing it up would feel like I'm pressuring her, so I suspect I'd sit with the feeling for a while and then move on if the feeling, or the waiting, didn't end.
I'm sure my fiance got physical with her previous boyfriends faster than she did with me, but that was more of a function of the fact that I wasn't physically aggressive with her. I could see being a little bothered if it took forever compared to the previous boyfriend and I was trying from the get go. However, it wouldn't matter at this point.
I don't think I ever sat down with someone I was seeing and grilled them on their past relationships and how often he had sex with them and I don't recall anyone ever asking me those questions. More often than not I find the men I have dated get this puckered squirrely look on their face if you even say, "My ex used to do that" or "My last boyfriend has one of these." They do not want to hear about my previous boyfriends or relationships.
What makes a person change their own preferences in terms of time frame. Quite possible one grows out of pure animal physical attraction and develops a deeper sense of what they do and do not want in a relationship and is just being more thorough and cautious.
The criteria one may have at the Frat House in college, isn't always the same he may deem marriage material when he is older and more established in his career and himself.
A lot of women do this. They slept around a lot in the past but now they want to settle down. They will play the good girl card and wait to have sex so the guy believes "she's not like that." Honestly it's manipulation.
Guys want to feel you have a burning desire to be with them sexually. If the knowledge arises that you slept with other guys earlier or you did things with them you won't with him, it can hurt him and doubt your desire for him. I can already see the women here crying immature, insecure, but its the way guys are wired.
I saw a thread on reddit about this dude who had a wife that would only bang missionary, if they had sex at all, would never do oral, etc etc. Just really a rather sexually cold woman. She had told him she had only been with one other man. Well, he found a video in the attic of her having sex with 5 guys at the same time. He confronted her and more truth came out that she had slept with many men and didn't want him to think she was a you know what. Not only was the marriage based on lies, but the guy reiterated my point, that he could never feel his wife truly desired him sexually like she did the men before him, especially because she did all the things she refused to do with him with those other men.
Naturally, even though he clearly has every right to be upset about getting married to a liar and an ex h o that now bangs like a prude, he was skewered in the comments by women and white knights everywhere. God forbid women are held accountable for their actions.
It's sad that some of you guys don't ever see sex as something special, but something you do with every girl. It's a turn off that you poke every girl you come across. Kinda disgusting.
It's sad that some of you guys don't ever see sex as something special, but something you do with every girl. It's a turn off that you poke every girl you come across. Kinda disgusting.
And, Ray likes to pay for his sex. Great guy!
Sex used to be something special, but those days are long gone. Thanks feminism!
As to the bolded, whether you like it or not, all sex is paid for. Period.
Geez, you guys, making someones' past about their present and future is just....dumb. You can't control what you DID, you can only reflect on in,and in some cases regret it.
There is some stupd idea that the more willing a girl is to PUT out, the better choice she is...this has never, and will never be good for the girl...most guys are already looking over her shoulder at whats' next, or what they might be missing out on, if they choose to get 'involved' with her for anything other than sex.
Really, its incredibly immature to associate a womans' sexual promiscuity with her value.
I have never known a woman who came out of that kind of choice with a healthy respectful long term relationship. But, then, there are women who are fine with that, see it as some kind of badge of honor or something...What I have seen is that she gets treated like an object, easily discarded by the kind of superficial idiotic guys who don't value women, or relationships.
If you value yourself, and your integrity, always follow your principles. Don't let some guy convince you otherwise, as soon as you cave, you've set yourself up for the inevitable dissapointment of finding out that you gave yourself to someone who could care less about you, and just got his sexual needs met without having to use his hands, or go through the trouble of finding an adequatly slutty woman who will put out.
If someone is really interested in you they'll take the time to get to know you, respect your integrity, and wait for you to be ready. If not then why waste your time with them? You could be having a meaningful relationship
Of course, there could be the possibility that hes' just MR. Right Now. A one night stand...a man you are using for sex. Well, I guess you should be honest about it then, and be ready to be told there are other women in line, now or later.
What am I going on about...youre horny, ran out of batteries...go for it. What harm could it possibly do? You won't get attached...its just SEX.
Because they got locked for various reasons and I wanted to discuss the issue. I really don't have any personal issue with this, it's merely my curiosity... I have observed that when people DO have an issue of some sort, this generally invites criticism of the person who brought it up more than a reasonable discussion of the issue itself.
I see this pretty often on here, and since I do not personally have an issue with it, I was wondering what people think independent of a provocative thread that reveals anyone's private business.
I have concluded that people really don't care too much unless there's a whipping boy in the thread, which I am obviously not.
I suspect this is the case for about 90% of the material posted in this forum, to be honest with you.
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