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What leads you to believe FB had anything to do with his previous breakup? Nothing the OP said. Hey, I bet he ate hamburgers during that previous relationship too so maybe he should quit eating hamburgers for the sake of the current relationship?
I never said it had anything to do with his previous breakup, but the OP made it very clear posting on Facebook was part of his previous relationship. It is not part of this relationship. I personally think the OP is getting into dangerous territory comparing the habits of a previous relationship with the habits of this one. This time around, the guy is doing something different. I think that is usually a good sign. If he's doing something different here, he is more likely to be doing things differently elsewhere in his relationship, too.
Sure he will... because, as you say above, " I don't care because things like these happen"!
But I bet you WILL care, just as you DO care about the facebook stuff.
Sure hw will? LOL. You seem to know my boyfriend very well.
That would also mean that I will replace him soon by a new shiny boyfriend because that's also what I did in the past. God.
To the others- Thanks for your answers so far. I guess you're right, I shouldn't make a drama out of Facebook. The thing is, it really wouldn't bother me if he never posted anything of his ex-girlfriend. But I also have to say that now he's much less active on Facebook than he was when he was with her. So that's a point too. Oh, and I also never put my relationship status or post stuff about boyfriends etc., but I never did. That's just not me.
Wow, seems like the high and mighty, too good for Facebook people have arrived to the party!
For me it has nothing to do with being "high and mighty" or "too good for Facebook." It's about being an adult and maintaining some semblance of privacy. The OP is 26 and her boyfriend is freaking 30. These aren't college students in 2005 feeling the need to post everything to everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjretrac
The problem isn't the medium, it's that clearly he's less public about her than he was his ex. If he was indeed constantly posting in his old relationship, but suddenly got decidedly private on social media.
Well, she's been with him for a year and a half now. I know, personally, I used to post much more stuff on Facebook back when it was just a few friends seeing it. (Or I perceived it that way, anyway.) Now that I have pretty much everyone I know on my friend list (distant family members, former coworkers, friends of exes from years ago, former students, former professors, etc.), my rule of thumb for posting something personal about my life is this: Would I have announced this to everyone I know, if I had the capability, before Facebook existed? Among the things to which the answer is "yes" might be moving to a new city, starting a new job, getting engaged or married, etc. Among the things to which the answer is "no" are what I ate for dinner, where I'm going for vacation, and who I'm dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjretrac
Two thoughts:
1) What was the circumstances surrounding his breakup? Maybe social media was involved somehow, so now he's keeping it private this go-round.
Yes, it definitely occurred to me that his decision to be more private now may have had something to do with drama it caused in his past relationship. He may have learned the lesson any number of other ways, too, but that would explain the timing of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjretrac
2) Hopefully this isn't it, but maybe he never broke up with his ex? Maybe you're not the only one? I only say that because you mention he broke up with his ex to be with you-- that's a frequent line of a player.
I would hope that if this were the case, she'd be finding way more clues IRL. I think she's probably overreacting, but I also think she's only going to know if she asks him. I do find it odd that he talks to his ex-girlfriend, doesn't tell her about his current girlfriend, and (here's the kicker) tells his current girlfriend that he doesn't tell his ex-girlfriend about her. What would be the motivation for that? Hopefully it's just stupidity on his part, but that would be an example of something she should probably talk to him about.
Dude, this is some awful advice.. Her contacting his ex?? How is that beneficial at all. If my gf did that I would think she is crazy and want nothing to do with her. Please people, dont give such bad advice.
I agree! That is what would happen if a "dude" is not in love with his girlfriend.
But it is the OP's most sure fire way to find out.
Not to mention, it will break it up all the way around if he is playing them both.
And if that is the case, she is better off without the jerkola and good riddance---right?!
If he really does love her, it wouldn't be the 'thing' that runs him off. It would take a lot more than that.
P.S. If there's nothing going on between the boyfriend and his ex, the ex and the boyfriend won't be offended. They will probably just get a chuckle out of it and the girlfriend's insecurity. People who have something to hide get their panties in a wad when confronted about such things; innocent people do not.
Last edited by picklejuice; 01-22-2014 at 11:49 AM..
OP who honestly gives a sheet if you are not on his social media. OBVIOUSLY his ex was a social media ho? that's what I get. Are You a social media ho? it seems you are because you are so anal about it.
Personally I actually won't want any of my pics on internet. Social media has ruined lives. I think it's number 1 reason now for divorces, cheating, and people get fired because of stupid sheet they posted in the past.
My fave was this woman who works as PR person!!! of all things and got fired coz she tweeted something discriminating. OH the fugging irony, you would think someone who uses social media as a job would have sense not to post something stupid enough to lose their job, WTF.
I myself had been addicted to facebook and twitter but I am over it and had deleted both my accounts from it. Actually can't believe people still are whoring themselves in there. Ugh.
1. Am I crazy for making these two points drive me nuts?
2. Should I be way more calm about this?
1. Yes, completely. Obsessively so.
2. Yes. It shouldn't even be crossing your mind.
As far as what to about the dilemma I've not a clue other than to get off all those social media sites. You may end up a good candidate for professional counseling if you can't find better ways to communicate as this does not bode well for the future of the relationship. Good luck and hope it works out for the best.
I agree! That is what would happen if a "dude" is not in love with his girlfriend.
But it is the OP's most sure fire way to find out.
Not to mention, it will break it up all the way around if he is playing them both.
And if that is the case, she is better off without the jerkola and good riddance---right?!
If he really does love her, it wouldn't be the 'thing' that runs him off. It would take a lot more than that.
P.S. If there's nothing going on between the boyfriend and his ex, the ex and the boyfriend won't be offended. They will probably just get a chuckle out of it and the girlfriend's insecurity. People who have something to hide get their panties in a wad when confronted about such things; innocent people do not.
I think anyone would get mad about that one, guilty or innocent. If she were to do that, her bf would forever think she is insecure and crazy.Shows a lack of trust. Hard to build from there.
I think anyone would get mad about that one, guilty or innocent. If she were to do that, her bf would forever think she is insecure and crazy.Shows a lack of trust. Hard to build from there.
I'm from a different era, where such a thing wouldn't have raised an eyebrow or waded a panty unless worded wrongly/incorrectly. There's a way to pose the question to the ex which won't garner a bad reaction. Now whether or not the present girlfriend can do that, remains to be seen.
This probably has a lot less to do with social media and a lot more to do with: He broke up with his ex-girlfriend for me
It's hard not to over-analyze every little thing when a relationship starts off that well
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That is what would happen if a "dude" is not in love with his girlfriend.
