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Hi everyone! I am new on here but I'm have a difficult time understanding something.. I went on a match.com date and it we had an amazing connection. I went out on 4 dates with this man. He was so into me, told me I was exquisite, said I was beautiful non stop and thought I was intriguing ( his words) and we had very emotional talks. After our last date, the next day he starting backing off and being short with our text messages. I did ask him why and he said that new he was and I had done nothing wrong, but it was just 2 reasons why. 1 being it was moving too fast and it started to freak him out and that he opened up to me too quickly. Also, that he is not capable of being in any situation too quickly right now because of the second thing, which is that he has not been able to close the door on his year long relationship with this woman and move forward with anything in his life. He says "that the fact remains, I am a beautiful, enchanting woman- a very special girl, I just need time to chill".
What on earth!!! Someone please help!!!! tell me what this means!
"Not been able to close the door"? He still has feelings for her and will go back to her if the opportunity arises, or he is still seeing her. It may just be too soon for him to date anybody.
It means he's still emotionally attached to his ex, so he needs time to get over that. He probably didn't realize this when he put up a profile on Match, he may have thought he was ready to move on, but discovered he wasn't. It wouldn't be fair to you for him to get involved, while still having feelings for his ex.
Either that, or he just made this up as an excuse.
"Not been able to close the door"? He still has feelings for her and will go back to her if the opportunity arises, or he is still seeing her. It may just be too soon for him to date anybody.
I agree with this suggestion, Since I have a buddy that's been widowed for several years and simply doesn't know how to date objectively anymore. His wife of several years was pretty much handed to him with almost no courtship at all, so now he's browsing the dating sites with no clue what to look for or what he needs. What dates he's had, he's ruined due to his ways.
People are generally flakey on dating sites, so it's easy to become jaded really quickly after a few encounters.
I wouldn't count on meeting genuine people from these sites If I were you.
People are generally flakey on dating sites, so it's easy to become jaded really quickly after a few encounters.
I wouldn't count on meeting genuine people from these sites If I were you.
I met one real stable woman, out of about 30 on a free site.
Datehookup.com
Hi everyone! I am new on here but I'm have a difficult time understanding something.. I went on a match.com date and it we had an amazing connection. I went out on 4 dates with this man. He was so into me, told me I was exquisite, said I was beautiful non stop and thought I was intriguing ( his words) and we had very emotional talks. After our last date, the next day he starting backing off and being short with our text messages. I did ask him why and he said that new he was and I had done nothing wrong, but it was just 2 reasons why. 1 being it was moving too fast and it started to freak him out and that he opened up to me too quickly. Also, that he is not capable of being in any situation too quickly right now because of the second thing, which is that he has not been able to close the door on his year long relationship with this woman and move forward with anything in his life. He says "that the fact remains, I am a beautiful, enchanting woman- a very special girl, I just need time to chill".
What on earth!!! Someone please help!!!! tell me what this means!
Sincerely,
Very confused
This is probably an unpopular opinion but I would take it after 4 dates that you all didn't at least come close to having sex was a bad sign.
Not cool to apparently play with your feelings like he did when he clearly is not ready for a new relationship. And this "said I was beautiful non stop" thing is just plain weird and immature. Lack of things to talk about should have been another bad sign that you did not pick up on.
He likes you and thinks you may be a good "transition" girlfriend, but he is still seeing someone or emotionally attached to her (probably an off and on situation) . . . and he just can't put the emotional energy into two relationships.
I read a study several years ago (wish I could find it to cite it) that said the majority of men will not end a relationship until they have some other prospects on the side. Often, they will continue both relationships til they can either disentangle themselves from the primary relationship or until they are certain the secondary relationship is one worth putting energy into and that it has longterm prospects.
Of course, there are men that are just players, but it doesn't appear this guy is one of those types. Sounds like he realized you were going to have too many expectations of his time and attention for him to be able to keep you dangling while he makes up his mind about his other relationship.
The best thing you can do is agree that yes, it is moving too fast and you got caught up in the excitement and the best thing to do is cool it for now and see how you both feel in the future.
In other words, save face, back off and forget this guy. He is not really ready for a relationship with you.
Hi everyone! I am new on here but I'm have a difficult time understanding something.. I went on a match.com date and it we had an amazing connection. I went out on 4 dates with this man. He was so into me, told me I was exquisite, said I was beautiful non stop and thought I was intriguing ( his words) and we had very emotional talks. After our last date, the next day he starting backing off and being short with our text messages. I did ask him why and he said that new he was and I had done nothing wrong, but it was just 2 reasons why. 1 being it was moving too fast and it started to freak him out and that he opened up to me too quickly. Also, that he is not capable of being in any situation too quickly right now because of the second thing, which is that he has not been able to close the door on his year long relationship with this woman and move forward with anything in his life. He says "that the fact remains, I am a beautiful, enchanting woman- a very special girl, I just need time to chill".
What on earth!!! Someone please help!!!! tell me what this means!
Sincerely,
Very confused
I believe he explained very clearly exactly what it means.
I don't understand your confusion.
According to your post he said: Things were moving to fast and he was unable to close the door on his previous relationship.
What part of those two statements are you confused about?
Honestly if you do not understand exactly what he means when he stated it so clearly you should think about not dating until you do understand his statements.
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