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This is kind of a vent, which I apologize for in advance. Yes, I know there are people allot worse off than me and I thank the almighty everyday for what I do have. I am usually not as "self absorbed" as I might come off as sounding.
Anyway, am I not the most pathetic person on Earth? I am almost 27 years old and have...
NEVER had sex NEVER kissed a girl (kiss as in on the mouth, on the cheek doesn't count) NEVER been on a date NEVER had a girlfriend NEVER held hands with a girl NEVER have I known that a female actually has found me attractive.
There you have it. I recently found out to my astonishment and horror that my fourteen year old nephew, who's diapers I once changed, has more experience with the ladies than I do. *sigh* that realization made me want to go for a razor, and not to shave my face with...
and no, I am not gay...my family thinks I am, but really, I like girls...from a safe distance. The whole idea of being with a woman in any sense of the word is for me like slaying a dragon: something I love reading about, watching on television and video, and listening to songs about, but to actually...ME, ACTUALLY talk to a girl with the intend of being ROMANTIC with her? And sex!...yes, I am a man, and yes, I like the IDEA of sex, but the REALITY of ME, having sex with a woman terrifies me just as much as the idea of ME trying to kill a fifty foot long ten foot tall firebreathing dragon.
*sigh* I mean, don't people deal with these issues when they are teenagers? I just feel like such a child in a grown body, and like there is nothing I can do about it.
And yes, since you were thinking it, I will come out and say it: I am indeed a total nerd. I watch Star Trek, read fantasy novels, listen to "Lord of the Rings" metal, play Dungeons and Dragons and have a collection of Star Wars action figures. Sorry...that's just who I am. I am a well rounded guy and like allot of different things too, like the outdoors, history and literature, but I am, in the end, a total stinking geek...
Anyway, has anyone ever known someone as pathetic as I am, or am I just a fluke? Also...is it too late? I am NEVER going to meet anyone with as little experience as I do (no pedophile jokes please...) and I mean, what will a girl think about me?
*sigh* sometimes, I think my life would be better if I could just be a emotionless robot, like Data before he got that emotion chip off his "brother" lore.
(no switching Emo mode off)
Last edited by victorianpunk; 05-16-2008 at 12:50 AM..
Hey Punk,
I think you are being far too hard on yourself for starters... Yes it is unusual, no doubt. Here is what I know to be true: the curtain is up! It is your life and you will learn and grow as you decide. Any interest in older women? (no I'm not offering LOl, or making fun) An older woman may be much more understanding, less judgemental and perhaps willing to teach you. Put the club away, I doubt that you deserve it, drop the expectations, I mean, who measuring stick are you using anyway! and go have some fun. (btw, Lord of the Rings metal is amazing!) Peace
I love all the stuff you said you were interested in and I don't think it makes you geeky or nerdy. You're you. Truly unique. Not another person exactly like you on the planet.
You know, perhaps the problem is that in all the time you've been in this world "the girl" that you would want to experience these things with simply hasn't materialized in your life yet? Never under estimate the power of kismet, or if that's not your thing, think chaos theory. I think that sooner or later someone will come into your life and all the problems you've experienced just won't be that way with the right girl. What I'm saying is, it's not you, it's just circumstance.
Don't be so down on yourself and PLEASE, never under estimate Data, he ROCKS!!!
VP-Have you ever considered going to a star trek convention or anything that has to do with DD? What about some poetry classes? There are people out there just like you otherwise ST and DD wouldn't be so popular. Good luck
Anyway, has anyone ever known someone as pathetic as I am, or am I just a fluke? Also...is it too late? I am NEVER going to meet anyone with as little experience as I do (no pedophile jokes please...) and I mean, what will a girl think about me?
Well, just like driving, it gets easier with practice. The first time you get behind the wheel of a car you are in control of, you're crazy nervous. Since you don't mention any religious reason for your celibacy (like you are waiting for marriage), I say you should just get that first drive out of the way.
Perhaps you are hanging out with the wrong crowd to accomplish this. My suggestion is to put on your dorkiest glasses, some nice clothes, and go to the nearest club and find a really drunk chick. You're old enough to go to the bars every weekend until you score. She doesn't have to be smokin' hot, remember this is not a good time to feel a lot of 'pressure' to perform. Tailor your selection to your personal level, for example if you are real ugly you should probably go with the dumpy fat chick, otherwise you'll fail right off the bat. Then just take her home, (don't forget a condom), and all the drinks you purchased for her have her slurring her words and taking off her clothes, you don't really have to be all that smooth or professional. Next weekend, rinse/lather/repeat until you know what the hell you're doing. Once you've broken that ice, it will be easier for you to approach women that you're actually interested in, and who are actually hot and might like geeks.
Girlintheglass and pushkinswife are right, you could possibly present yourself as an innocent young buck to a much older woman. Granted, you will know nothing and she will have 100% advantage of you, but it might be easier for you if someone else takes the reigns. Hell, you could even post something on craigslist. Just make your title really stand out, like "Young male virgin looking for experienced older woman to rob me of my innocence." I'm sure you'll get some good hits.
I think its sweet, and you will find the one someday. Why do you think that your inexperience makes you a loser? On the contrary, it makes you a good catch. You haven't had a lot of opportunity, that doesn't mean you don't have the skill : ) Try to be more outgoing with women, be yourself and be confident. My husband was very inexperienced with women too, but it made me admire him. As far as going to a club and picking up drunk chics to get your experience, I wouldn't. You sound better than that, there are some trashy women out there, and you've avoided them this far and I wouldn't look back. I also like the idea of looking for an older woman, someone who won't judge you and will appreciate what you have to offer..Maybe instead of the clubs you can hit a martini bar and start a meaningful relationship before intimacy, this sounds like it would be best for someone in your situation.. Good luck and keep your head up!
See I was in a familiar situation as you. Except I found out that my 15yr old cousin had lost her virginity. And I made this joke to a male collegue that went something like this, "Im not feeling to good today, I just found out that my 15yr old cousin has had sex and I haven't even begun talking with the opposite sex yet". He set me up on a blind date the following class meeting with a beautiful girlfriend of his. And three dates later I knew what it felt like to have sex.
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