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I have been reading an older book called, "The Ice Opinion" by ICE-T.
He states this is the way he sees things in his life and doesn't necessarily expect you to agree, but some seem to come up in repeated things in this forum.
Now forget for a moment your feelings about rap music as it has nothing to do with it. The book is simply his take on the fundamentals of human nature. If I could offer a straight forward self help book for men - this would be it. Here are a few of his 'how-to' takes scattered about the book. See if you agree, disagree or if it makes any sense.
Re-assurance. Most men could go a year without anybody saying, "You look good." So, how does he determine this? He has to go out and try to talk to a woman and if one smiles at him, he's got it. Reassurance may be all he needed.
For women there is one guy out there. I don't know if it's Michael Jordon, Tom Cruise or Arnold Schwarzenegger - but there's one guy in your mind and you'd do him given the chance. The average guy has to find out if he's even close to being the ideal man. Then, he has to determine how long it will take for her to be with him. This requires straight military tactics. Apply the Relationship Meter and determine where you fit in.
Qualify the Customer. Are they even buying today? If the answer is 'NO, NO, NO..." Then why are you even going to try and talk to this person? There are various lines to keep in mind. "You probably wouldn't go out with someone like me, right?" Here, you are attempting reverse psychology. Most girls aren't tacky enough to say, "No, I wouldn't." They'll say, "Of course I would." But if she adds, "If I didn't have a boyfriend." You're out of there.
Here is something I have preached on end in this forum and have been attacked for this view of 'attractiveness.' Let's see what ICE has to say on the matter.
One big problem is men think they can talk to all women because once, on a good day, a super attractive woman stepped up to him. So, he's thinking the girl across the club should fall for him because she's less attractive. NO. NO. NO. to some women you'll be attractive. To other women you will not be attractive it doesn't matter who you are. You might be the flyest model in GQ and to another woman you could be the bomb and still another - a monster.
Once you get in, it's up to you to show them how great a person you are. It's time to be funny, it's time to be deep. If you are clever or charming, you'll always find someone who is interested. This can't be taught.
Men have to learn the art of mating and courting. You can help yourself by learning a few basics. If you can dance, that will help. Give a woman a reason to like you. Wash your ass, do some sit-ups and once you get your physical act together, read some books, Learn something. Be interesting. Get some flavor about yourself.
Thoughts anyone?
Last edited by Thursday007; 01-27-2014 at 02:10 PM..
Ice-T is an incredibly savvy individual; sometimes it doesn't show in his speech because of his street-upbringing, but he's really clever. One thing did stand out to me, though...
There are various lines to keep in mind. "You probably wouldn't go out with someone like me, right?" Here, you are attempting reverse psychology. Most girls aren't tacky enough to say, "No, I wouldn't."
Oh, yes they are. Do not ever, ever use this line. This kind of reverse psychology doesn't work in the slightest when it comes to approaching women.
Ice-T is an incredibly savvy individual; sometimes it doesn't show in his speech because of his street-upbringing, but he's really clever. One thing did stand out to me, though...
There are various lines to keep in mind. "You probably wouldn't go out with someone like me, right?" Here, you are attempting reverse psychology. Most girls aren't tacky enough to say, "No, I wouldn't."
Oh, yes they are. Do not ever, ever use this line. This kind of reverse psychology doesn't work in the slightest when it comes to approaching women.
He clarified that most, not all, but most and I have to believe most of the women he has had contact with in his social circle.
One big problem is men think they can talk to all women because once, on a good day, a super attractive woman stepped up to him. So, he's thinking the girl across the club should fall for him because she's less attractive. NO. NO. NO. to some women you'll be attractive. To other women you will not be attractive it doesn't matter who you are. You might be the flyest model in GQ and to another woman you could be the bomb and still another - a monster.
I think this is a great point. Everyone has strong preferences, 'a type', etc. I've known men and women both who have sworn off people shorter or taller than a certain height, people with certain hair colors, people with certain careers, people of specific ethnic/racial ancestry due to bad experiences in the past. (It doesn't make any sense, but hey, humans can be irrational.) Or other times, someone might have recently had their heart broken by an athletic blonde and subconsciously have decided to go for the opposite, perhaps a lanky brunette.
I'm wondering what the same type of book written by Frank Sinatra would have been like.
The Sinatra Opinion: Men & Women and the Art of Making Love (ancient meaning).
Men have to learn the art of mating and courting. You can help yourself by learning a few basics. If you can dance, that will help. Give a woman a reason to like you. Wash your ass, do some sit-ups and once you get your physical act together, read some books, Learn something. Be interesting. Get some flavor about yourself.
I like that. He incorporated presenting your best self with exercising your mind and intelligence is important. You can't spend all day perfecting your looks and physique only to sound like you didn't make it past 1st grade.
Re-assurance. Agree. It feels good to feel good and to know your partner thinks highly of you. It seems to me that the majority of people cheat because of how the other person made him feel, not because they were hotter. They made them feel good about his/herself where their own partner did not.
For women there is one guy out there. Disagree. I am attracted to all colors of the rainbow. Short. Tall. Fat. Slim. Young and old. There is no "free pass" when I'm with someone. I'm an all or nothing gal. When I'm in, I'm all in. There is no one else I want and so there is no comparison to anyone else. There is no movie star that could make me feel that way because they're not real. The person in front of me is the only one who could trigger that "all in" reaction from me.
Qualify the Customer. I agree. Using "If I were to..." is weak, but actually quite effective. That is, unless you're only doing it to coddle your ego because you're needy. If you're shy, I can understand. But there's a huge difference between being shy and being needy. Needy is a huge turn off. Shy is not.
One big problem is men think they can talk to all women. No idea. I'm a female. But I can say that most women don't get the "league" thing. Everyone has seen the hot girl with the fat ugly guy. The men go off about how he must be rich and she must be a gold digger. And I'm not saying that doesn't exist. But if you actually bothered watching some of those unequal couples, you'd see there's no one else in the room who is making her laugh as hard or making her think as hard or holding her attention that strongly. Women understand that. Men don't seem to. But you know, there's a reason why Beauty and the Beast is so popular, even when the Beast is a poor man living in a cave. Just saying.
Once you get in. True. That initial shock and awe only works for two dates, max.
Men have to learn the art of mating and courting. True. Women's noses are better tuned. I'm telling you straight up. If you're fat, short and bald, but you smell great and make her genuinely laugh... your odds of getting laid increase with each of her genuine laughs. (Note I said genuine laugh)
I'm gonna sound sort of mean, and I'm not trying to, but every time Ice T speaks, I just can't get past his lisp or whatever it is about how he speaks.
I just find it so odd that a guy that's made his living speaking, whether in raps or moves/TV hasn't gotten better at enunciating.
I do respect the fact that he's a self made guy, came up with nothing and made something of himself.....
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