After 1.5 years relationship- Too soon to ask him about expectations and the future? (date, boyfriend)
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my boyfriend(30) and I(28) have been in a relationship for more than 1.5 years.
Last spring/summer we broke up for 2 months because we were fighting a lot about nonsense stuff.
Before we broke up, he called me 'the love of his life' and often talked with me about the future and having a family.
We got back together because HE came to me saying that he still loves me and that we should give it another try. So we've been back together for almost six months now. We've been able to work on our problems and things are much better than before, we barely fight and we spend a lot of time together. Still- I'm not sure what he really wants from this relationship. He says he loves me, but doesn't say it as often as before we broke up. He never says I'm the love of his life and never says cute things he used to say in the beginning (how happy he is to be with me etc.). When I say these kind of things he doesn't say anything back (for example yday I said that it doesn't matter where we are as, as long as we're together I'm happy. He didn't reply anything). He also never calls me the love of his life anymore. We never talk about a future (only about a trip we wanna do in a week or so), moving in together, having a family or anything. He treats me nicely and everything, but the things I just mentioned really bother me.
What do you guys think? Is it too soon to sit him down and have an honest talk about his expectations of this relationship? To ask him if he ever imagines a future with me and wants to have a family with me in the future? Should I rather wait a couple of months more or until he brings it up himself? Or should I do it better sooner than later?
I would find out my status asap.Especially if you are looking for this to lead into marriage. IMO after a year and half to people should know what they expect out of a relationship.
Wait until after Valentine's Day. See what kind of romantic sentiment he expresses Friday. He may surprise you with some poignant declaration of enduring love. Or he may get you some body paint and say, "hey babe, let's go make a mess." You'll have a better idea how he feels then.
In your shoes, if I wanted marriage and a family, I would definitely have a "state of the union" talk with him as you approach your second anniversary. It's not like you are in college or just starting out where you can date someone for three or four years and it would be understandable if neither of you were ready yet. You're both grown adults, and at his age, if he doesn't know by the two-year mark whether he wants to marry you, chances are he never will. If marriage and family are important to you, you deserve to know that so you can move on and look for someone who has the same goals. Unlike men, women who want kids have a lot to lose by hanging around for years on end. The biological clock is very real.
Wait until after Valentine's Day. See what kind of romantic sentiment he expresses Friday. He may surprise you with some poignant declaration of enduring love. Or he may get you some body paint and say, "hey babe, let's go make a mess." You'll have a better idea how he feels then.
In your shoes, if I wanted marriage and a family, I would definitely have a "state of the union" talk with him as you approach your second anniversary. It's not like you are in college or just starting out where you can date someone for three or four years and it would be understandable if neither of you were ready yet. You're both grown adults, and at his age, if he doesn't know by the two-year mark whether he wants to marry you, chances are he never will. If marriage and family are important to you, you deserve to know that so you can move on and look for someone who has the same goals. Unlike men, women who want kids have a lot to lose by hanging around for years on end. The biological clock is very real.
Good luck!
We're both not from the US, so Valentine's Day is not a big thing here.
I agree about everything, usually I would also say after 1.5 years you should know where this relationship is going etc... but since we broke up for two months I'm confused if I should wait longer to make him see that our relationship is stable now and he doesn't have to be scared that we're messing it up again.
We're both not from the US, so Valentine's Day is not a big thing here.
I agree about everything, usually I would also say after 1.5 years you should know where this relationship is going etc... but since we broke up for two months I'm confused if I should wait longer to make him see that our relationship is stable now and he doesn't have to be scared that we're messing it up again.
Ah, okay. I didn't know that.
I would bring it up in the spring, in a couple of more months, once you've been back together for nearly a year continuously.
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