Can you have passion and stability in a marriage at the same time? (wife, how to)

[mysteriousjane]

Can you have passion and stability in a marriage at the same time? I have been married twice, and been in a few relationships otherwise, and all have been either passionate, romantic, and spontaneous, or stable, reliable, and loyal.

The guy who was most romantic cheated on me. The guy who was most passionate also physically abused me. The guy who was most reliable thought romance was a waste of time. The guy who was most loyal lacked passion in bed.

So, what gives? Can you have both of these sets of traits in a relationship at the same time? And if you can't.... which would you rather marry? Right now I am in a stable, reliable, loyal marriage, but we have no passion, romance, and spontaneity to it. It's rather boring lol, but predictable.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by mysteriousjane

Can you have passion and stability in a marriage at the same time?.

But of course you can! Many of us do.

[Dewdroplet76]

I wouldn't settle for anything less.

[grumptacular]

My first wife and I had both. We each recognized that consistent, (fun), work was needed to keep passion, but we knew how to communicate well. Stability was always there.

I will say that many of my relationships blur the line of drama and passion, which is unfortunate.

[NewbiePoster]

Originally Posted by mysteriousjane

Can you have passion and stability in a marriage at the same time?

Why not? They're not mutually exclusive.

[srjth]

Maybe what you want to know is can you be in a stable marriage and it not get boring.

The answer is no so suck it up.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by srjth

Maybe what you want to know is can you be in a stable marriage and it not get boring.

The answer is no.

And you know this from your decades of being married?

Boring people get bored.

The rest of us manage to keep our lives vibrant and enjoyable, even when we are married.

[srjth]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

And you know this from your decades of being married?

Boring people get bored.

The rest of us manage to keep our lives vibrant and enjoyable, even when we are married.

Mmhm. You have no idea how long I was married.

[Pitt Chick]

"Can you have passion and stability in a marriage at the same time?"

Of course you can...
and I would not have it any other way!

[foclampt]

Maybe the problem comes from a series of issues beginning with the selection process...maybe instead of looking at the guys and generalizing you might take a little time to look at the most common factor in all of the relationships. I mean yourself.
Maybe you picked guys who wouldn't be able to provide what you needed because of somethings you were looking for and didn't realize it, kind of a subliminal thing.