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HA ha ha, don't you have anything better to do?
I hope you haven't been starving to death...
Well, here's how it went.
Those of you who can put two and two together know that I am extremely apprehensive about being the aggressor, you may have noticed in my other posts that I feel like it gives the message that I am some kind of dominatrix or something ridiculous like that, call it social conditioning, call it whatever you want.
I did NOT approach nearly as many men as I planned on doing, I think it is in large part to the conditioning, I would find myself literally shaking in my boots, even though I KNEW it was more of a friendly effort, just the idea of putting myself at risk for judgement and rejection, was, well scary...
If nothing else this made a few things really obvious to me, we are all in a big hurry, just like a recent commercial for some kind of financial institution, this woman is worried about something and doesn't even notice someone who would like to get her attention...
Once I slowed myself down and paid attention, I realized there were a few men trying to get MY attention, sometimes...I would see them - they were shyly glancing my way and smiling a little, but, were apprehensive about talking, very very...like panic stricken...and guess what, I was a little too.
If nothing else, good people of C-D, I'd say take the time to look up and around you, make eye contact, smile back, do compliment someones' taste, do take a minute to thank someones' good service, or their way with their kids...etc. etc.
My goodness, if any of you really thought I'd come back bragging about getting laid, or putting pictures of me up, god forbid...well, lets just say, I have a bit of sense.,
I did learn a lot from this, and I would suggest that everyone perform their own social experiment, in a way that makes them learn too...its only a little uncomfortable.
I was waiting for you to say you have a newfound respect for men who put themselves out there and do all the work for women. It isn't as easy as many women like to think.
That's impossible given that most people(men and women alike) are of average attractiveness. On a 1-10 scale, 50% are going to be at a 5 while probably around 2/3 are between a 4 and a 6.
As for the OP, I admire the willingness to put yourself out there like that. Ultimately, it's really not much different than men approaching women. Some are receptive, some are not. The only difference IMO is that women are much worse at handling rejection.
Yes, of course, tofur, but I never disrespected men in the first place for their place in the social norm.
I may have given some kind of other impression, but, seriously now, most of the guys here really come off as whiny at times.
They seem like they don't even try, or as if they have such pie-eyed dreams of perfection that its obvious that its just a ruse to hide behind their terror.
Most men are probably REALLY brave, really strong, and pretty smart, but when it comes to this particular thing, they turn to quivering jelly...I admit that I did.
For the record:
5 men altogether...but its not really the numbers that count.
I really don't think it ever was...just a loose objective.
To be fair, you really can't develop an accurate conclusion with only 5 men. There's many, many more than 5 men even in just your own neighborhood, let alone your town. But I do commend you.
I had started to say something else I realized out of this experiment...that I am happy. Yes, I'm happy to be single, really, I wouldn't mind being on dates either, but, it was really freeing to realize that I could do this experiment without anyone getting jealous or thinking more of it than was there.
And that this was really just something that was kind of a normal thing, not a big deal at all.
For those of us who have mild social anxiety, um...maybe less of a big deal than you make out in your head.
Yes, of course, tofur, but I never disrespected men in the first place for their place in the social norm.
I may have given some kind of other impression, but, seriously now, most of the guys here really come off as whiny at times.
They seem like they don't even try, or as if they have such pie-eyed dreams of perfection that its obvious that its just a ruse to hide behind their terror.
Most men are probably REALLY brave, really strong, and pretty smart, but when it comes to this particular thing, they turn to quivering jelly...I admit that I did.
honestly, I think the smarter you are the more intimidating approaching an attractive member of the opposite sex is. It seems only the ditzy/idiot people are really outgoing and approaching people. That's a generalization obviously but that's what I see. And yeah, guys who jump out of helicopters with guns strapped to their chests or guys who drive race cars at high speeds can be terrified of going up to a beautiful woman and talking to her. Totally illogical, but bravery doesn't always transfer over.
Well, yes, JP, the conclusion that I drew was for my own benefit, but it was not negative...it was just barely pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone...
baby steps...
baby steps...
baby steps...
honestly, I think the smarter you are the more intimidating approaching an attractive member of the opposite sex is. It seems only the ditzy/idiot people are really outgoing and approaching people. That's a generalization obviously but that's what I see. And yeah, guys who jump out of helicopters with guns strapped to their chests or guys who drive race cars at high speeds can be terrified of going up to a beautiful woman and talking to her. Totally illogical, but bravery doesn't always transfer over.
There's some truth to that. IMO, it's because the idiots are too stupid to give a f*ck. They don't have much going for them anyway.
Well, yes, JP, the conclusion that I drew was for my own benefit, but it was not negative...it was just barely pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone...
baby steps...
baby steps...
baby steps...
If this is what you're going for, then exiting your comfort zone is the only way you're going to achieve any success. But you did what the majority of women would never do. Most would chicken out and never make a move ever again.
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