I'd be wary of the word "expect" here, for both men and women. If you go overboard with expectations, you risk setting yourself up for frequent disappointment. That said, it's reasonable to expect men to meet the following criteria:
- Be on time.
- Look and dress presentably. Meaning, get the hygiene and grooming taken care of, and wear clothes that are clean, proper-fitting and occasion appropriate.
- Don't be creepy. Have a clue about basic courtesy, about social etiquette. Understand and respect boundaries. And keep in mind that you will probably be evaluated on your behavior towards service people such as waitresses, etc.
- If you are the one planning the date, well...have at least a solid framework of a plan of to-dos, suggestions or ideas during the date. Be able to take the lead. But take her input into account as well. In a way, you two are a team.
- Whether you actually end up paying or not, be
prepared to cover the costs especially if you're the one planning the date. While I'd stop short of labeling it an expectation, it's generally considered to be a nice gesture for the man to at least offer to pay.
In short, give off the impression that you actually give a damn about her (as a person) and the date.
Everything positive beyond that is a bonus, IMO. And also more subjective. However, simply meeting the above criteria - and nothing more - may not be enough net you a second or third date. (There are no guarantees, even if the date seemingly goes flawlessly.) I think it's a bit silly to outright expect the following, but ideally conversation should naturally flow well and segue smoothly from subject to subject - with both people contributing frequently; there should be mutual attraction; the two should be comfortable with each other; you should be someone worth knowing, etc. But NOT meeting one or more of the above bullet points at the top of this post will make it VERY likely that she will not accept a second date offer from you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
It all depends on if you know the person already of if it's truly a blind date with someone you have never met before.
Blind date: coffee or something similar. For all the reasons given.
Someone you already know: just do something you both enjoy. I'll assume conversation has occurred, interests may be known, likes and dislikes might have come up. I mean I know more than that about everyone who works in my building just through day to day contact. If one of the guys decided to ask me on a date in the future they would have a clue.
I've always felt that a public activity where you can walk around while talking and looking at interesting things is the best. Street fairs, museums, touristy things, farmers markets, etc. You have lots of things to spark convo, don't feel "trapped" in a seat somewhere, and don't have someone focused and looking at you at all times. It's super comfortable.
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Agreed 100%, and the bolded parts are great points. If the two people really enjoyed each other's company during the public activity, then (if schedules allow) one or the other can transition that into drinks, lunch or dinner somewhere. I'd personally avoid public activities that involve too much physical action though, unless I already knew the woman a bit.
Most of the dates I've had were with women I already knew a bit.
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