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Have you ever been able to get into a relationship and then get married, all the while you have unresolved feeling for a girl that you had something going with, from before the new wife of say 3 months? And then reached out to that girl of the past to tell her? Is it a need for closure? delayed cold feet? Why would a man reach out to the past like that otherwise?
it's called doubt... normally something resolved before making that kind of commitment but can occur afterwards as in buyer's remorse, i.e., after getting to know the product/service. good luck.
I've never been married but to me it sounds like rebound to the extreme i.e. he still has feelings for his ex, jumped into a relationship to get over it but never got over it and now he is married. I think as a friend there is nothing you can do about it.
I've never been married but to me it sounds like rebound to the extreme i.e. he still has feelings for his ex, jumped into a relationship to get over it but never got over it and now he is married. I think as a friend there is nothing you can do about it.
heh..I'm not the friend here...I'm the past but your'e right. There is still nothing I can do about it.
Are you sure he is trying to reconnect for romantic reasons? When I was married I stayed in touch with several of my exes, and even wrote a recommendation letter for one of them for a potential job. There was no romantic interest, just being friendly.
I have married exes contacting me all the time. Sometimes they tell me about their kids, their careers, our mutual friends, their running accomplishments (I used to race competitively, as did several exes) as well as random chitchat. If they ever hint at marital issues I end the conversation though, as I wouldn't want to interfere with someone's relationship. I certainly would not have wanted my ex wife talking about her marital problems with an ex while we were married.
In fact, I think there is almost less tension when talking to an ex if one person is in a relationship. After my divorce, interactions with unmarried or divorced exes were a little awkward because several of them seemed almost insulted if I did not show any romantic interest. Now that I am in a serious relationship, my exes know that I am not going to initiate anything romantic or sexual, so they know that our interactions (mostly through social media) are just friendly. I don't believe in ignoring people just because I am not interested in them romantically anymore. I know it could be seen as a bit weird, but I am still on very good terms with my ex wife's brother and his wife, and I still maintain a friendly professional relationship with the father of a girl I dated ten years ago, so much so that he included an acknowledgement to me in his most recent book due to some technical conversations we had related to science and education.
I guess I just don't understand why it is necessary to completely drop people from your life if you decide that you aren't going to marry them. I can see how dating could be hyper stressful if the only options for ending an interaction are marriage or a complete split. I care too much for several women, for whom I have no romantic interest whatsoever, to pretend that they don't exist anymore.
Chemistry guy. He talked about his feelings that he STILL has and always had. This isn't an ex just saying hey what's up. I get what you're saying and I have certain exes I talk to here and there but we don't discuss feelings for each other as if one of us is regretful. That and I don't date, let alone get married when I have unresolved feelings for someone else. So that's why I posed this question. I wonder if it's a "guy thing".
Also, I wouldn't say he's trying to reconnect cause we've mostly kept in touch all this time but not super regularly.
Chemistry guy. He talked about his feelings that he STILL has and always had. This isn't an ex just saying hey what's up. I get what you're saying and I have certain exes I talk to here and there but we don't discuss feelings for each other as if one of us is regretful. That and I don't date, let alone get married when I have unresolved feelings for someone else. So that's why I posed this question. I wonder if it's a "guy thing".
Also, I wouldn't say he's trying to reconnect cause we've mostly kept in touch all this time but not super regularly.
Gosh if I were you I would have replied this:
Who cares?! Go tell your new wife that. Why did you even marry her then? If you want some one on the side leave me out of it.
My question is what did you say? I hope you won't fall for that BS. I HATE drama queen men like that ESPECIALLY when they are married.
Who cares?! Go tell your new wife that. Why did you even marry her then? If you want some one on the side leave me out of it.
My question is what did you say? I hope you won't fall for that BS. I HATE drama queen men like that ESPECIALLY when they are married.
I think a better reply is this:
Biatch please.... I ain't got time for that.
eh, I was very nice to him about it. I agree, he shouldn't have married her if he has unresolved feelings for anyone else (regardless of me). I don't know what he's going through and I wasn't going to judge him for it. A lot was said, but I'm not going to post that here, as its personal. Neither of us are cheaters. He can't and won't act on this anyways even if he could. Nor would I even let him. Just thought it was odd, that this is the stuff he thinks about only a couple months after he gets married.
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but your'e right. There is still nothing I can do about it. 
