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Old 03-27-2014, 06:59 PM
 
260 posts, read 605,622 times
Reputation: 300

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I want you to know that I've tried to be an idealist about the dating arena. I've tried to believe that it's all about "confidence", that attracting women is an "art" that any guy can learn, that I need to "learn how to talk to women", that "body language" and being "interesting" attracts women, that love is mysterious and that anyone develop an attraction to anyone else. I just can't believe it because all my experience contradicts it. I can't live with that cognitive dissonance.

 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Florida
943 posts, read 1,199,058 times
Reputation: 368
Please explain more about your experiences.
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,942,753 times
Reputation: 16643
If it can't be learned, then I'd still be in the friend zone going after the same girl I was "in love with" from when i was 15
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:15 PM
 
867 posts, read 909,784 times
Reputation: 820
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryManback View Post
I want you to know that I've tried to be an idealist about the dating arena. I've tried to believe that it's all about "confidence", that attracting women is an "art" that any guy can learn, that I need to "learn how to talk to women", that "body language" and being "interesting" attracts women, that love is mysterious and that anyone develop an attraction to anyone else. I just can't believe it because all my experience contradicts it. I can't live with that cognitive dissonance.
Ah, another humanizing thread. You are far more endearing when you write strictly about yourself and your experience instead of trying to form general conclusions about the world. That's an idea you should take to your personal life i.e. people actually really like me when I'm being myself.

As for this post, I'm not an idealist but you still are very much of an idealist. You've just changed your ideology. You're the same person but with a new ideology. So, you are very much an idealist. What is the cure for idealism? Experience. When you have experience you will see the world as a place to tough to paraphrase.

I think there is much hope for you HarryManBack much hope. If you need ancient wisdom Socrates said, "The only thing I know is that I do not know." That's where you got to start. I know nothing about dating and I want to learn.

How old are you HMB?
Do you have a stable income?
What are your interests?

Answer these and I can make suggestions of how you can enter the dating world and gain the experience you need.
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:43 PM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,795,818 times
Reputation: 26197
No you haven't. Even then most cursory of searches of your post history reveals results opposite of your proclamation. Thanks for trying. Lolz
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:49 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,396 posts, read 24,462,559 times
Reputation: 17482
Honestly, I don't think you (or any other guy) needs to do anything special to attract a woman. Just wear clean clothes, smile, make pleasant conversation when it's appropriate, and open doors once in awhile.
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:55 PM
 
33,016 posts, read 27,473,071 times
Reputation: 9074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous725 View Post
I have just read your previous thread. You're the guy who tried to blame the economy for not getting a date. (lulwat)

Marriage is about economical advantage. Love and relationships isn't. But please continue.

Except that OKC (on their blog) claims that economical advantage (measured by income) dramatically increases the number of messages men receive.
 
Old 03-27-2014, 07:56 PM
 
Location: In my mind (scary)
155 posts, read 189,447 times
Reputation: 253
Maybe, if you stop trying so hard and be yourself, it will happen for you The best things happen to those that lest expect it
 
Old 03-27-2014, 08:22 PM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,203,601 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Honestly, I don't think you (or any other guy) needs to do anything special to attract a woman. Just wear clean clothes, smile, make pleasant conversation when it's appropriate, and open doors once in awhile.
If only it were that simple.
 
Old 03-27-2014, 08:27 PM
 
2,183 posts, read 2,203,601 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Concerned Aunt 936 View Post
Maybe, if you stop trying so hard and be yourself, it will happen for you The best things happen to those that lest expect it
It will happen when you least expect it. This is one of those phrases told to me when I was young. I haven't expected it my whole life.
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