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I want you to know that I've tried to be an idealist about the dating arena. I've tried to believe that it's all about "confidence", that attracting women is an "art" that any guy can learn, that I need to "learn how to talk to women", that "body language" and being "interesting" attracts women, that love is mysterious and that anyone develop an attraction to anyone else. I just can't believe it because all my experience contradicts it. I can't live with that cognitive dissonance.
I want you to know that I've tried to be an idealist about the dating arena. I've tried to believe that it's all about "confidence", that attracting women is an "art" that any guy can learn, that I need to "learn how to talk to women", that "body language" and being "interesting" attracts women, that love is mysterious and that anyone develop an attraction to anyone else. I just can't believe it because all my experience contradicts it. I can't live with that cognitive dissonance.
Ah, another humanizing thread. You are far more endearing when you write strictly about yourself and your experience instead of trying to form general conclusions about the world. That's an idea you should take to your personal life i.e. people actually really like me when I'm being myself.
As for this post, I'm not an idealist but you still are very much of an idealist. You've just changed your ideology. You're the same person but with a new ideology. So, you are very much an idealist. What is the cure for idealism? Experience. When you have experience you will see the world as a place to tough to paraphrase.
I think there is much hope for you HarryManBack much hope. If you need ancient wisdom Socrates said, "The only thing I know is that I do not know." That's where you got to start. I know nothing about dating and I want to learn.
How old are you HMB?
Do you have a stable income?
What are your interests?
Answer these and I can make suggestions of how you can enter the dating world and gain the experience you need.
Honestly, I don't think you (or any other guy) needs to do anything special to attract a woman. Just wear clean clothes, smile, make pleasant conversation when it's appropriate, and open doors once in awhile.
Honestly, I don't think you (or any other guy) needs to do anything special to attract a woman. Just wear clean clothes, smile, make pleasant conversation when it's appropriate, and open doors once in awhile.
Maybe, if you stop trying so hard and be yourself, it will happen for you The best things happen to those that lest expect it
It will happen when you least expect it. This is one of those phrases told to me when I was young. I haven't expected it my whole life.
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The best things happen to those that lest expect it 
