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I am married, so this is a moot point I guess, but if I were single, I would NOT want to seriously date a divorced dad with kids. The most I would go for would be a casual affair with not too much attachment. WAAAAAY too much drama when kids are involved, IMO. I say this due to knowing some really nice guys with kids, and there are lots and lots of problems.....
I've never dated a man with a child. I do have a big crush on a man with a child and would absolutely date him if he wasn't married. But I've liked him since he was childless.
I would not date parents because of the fundamental and unbridgeable gap in values between them and me. As an antinatalist, I view production as a vile and illegitimate decision. From time to time, I find women in online dating who leave blank the area for "Do you have children". My messages convey the assumption that they're child-free, but there have been cases where the woman is, it turns out, a mother. Basic politeness forces the containment of any outbursts, but of course the "relationship" can not continue.
On two different occasions I had a girlfriend who had children. One of them was the woman I gave my virginity. I mentioned her on a thread that has since been deleted. She wanted to take a "casual stroll" by the jewelry counter to "just look" at diamond rings. I was 20 years old. She was 23 and had a 3 year old daughter. This experience scared the hell out of me.
A few years later I had a girlfriend and she had a 13 year old daughter and 11 year old son. By then I was 24, this woman was 31. We really were off and running. We had keys to each other's homes and I was even authorized to pick up her kids from school. I helped her son with his homework. We ate meals at the table "as a family." Sadly this woman turned out to still be married. I almost stayed with her anyway because her husband (who had left her for the more slender, younger and "hotter" woman next door) assured me he was not only comfortable with me sleeping with his wife but excited for her that she had "snagged a good guy." It just wasn't the same after that awkward conversation. I thought she was an awesome partner, her kids were great, and we truly enjoyed each other. But when I mentioned her dishonesty about her marital status it was not a pretty picture.
I have no regrets, but I did sometimes look back and wonder if I made the right decision on this one. I stopped worrying about it after I met my wife, though.
I've gone out with men with kids, but not more than a few times. There is something very off-putting about the whole "my kid always comes first" thing. Not that I would want to take precedence over a man's kid in an emergency or ever feel like a man should be put in a position of choosing between a partner and a child. But when someone comes out with that from the get go, I wonder if he overindulges his kids or puts them on a pedestal somehow. A smart parent sets boundaries and knows that there are indeed times when a child does NOT come first, and that adults are entitled to their lives, too. Way too many brats out there manufacturing drama because they don't want to share their Mommy's or Daddy's attention.
Yes, I have dated a few and don't recommend it if you're childless, unless you really love kids and want to play Mommy to kids who aren't your own. Most of these guys were broke and any extra money they had went to their kids needs. Totally understandable, but not something conducive to having a relationship.
And you will always be last on the totem pole as far as their attentions are concerned. You will come after the kids, the ex wife and the family dog. And the kids usually have major behavioral dysfunctions from the divorce trauma.
I've only met one guy with a kid who was more willing to make me a priority in his life, but that's because he never wanted the kid in the first place, which was not normal either.
I thought grown kids would be easier and maybe they usually are, but for me it didn't work. Not to mention the issues like grandchildren.
I disagree with you on much of your absolute stance on dating someone with kids but you have good points like the one above. I have dated a woman with out of control kids, who will probably have out of control grand children and so on and so on. Not a pretty sight in my mind. Unfortunately the only men that could possibly tolerate that type of environment are typically undesireable types, which is sad.
On a positive note, most every other women I have dated with a child was little to no problem at all.
I had never dated any men with kids until after my husband passed aways. One of the guys I dated had grown kids so it didn't really count.
The a guy I really liked had 3 in school and a step he considered his own. I was somewhat hesitant. We spent every day together that he was not with the kids, and I didn't meet them for about 6 months.
And I married him.
Not much drama about money with the exes (2 ex wives. ). Really none at all. I get along with both exes and they have both expressed gratitude about different things to me. Two are now out of school doing their own stuff, the Junior is so buys (sports, school, work) we don't see her as often as we would like, but I just took her and her friend prom dress shopping for a day. The youngest, 12, is with us once a week and every other weekend.
I honestly love it. I never had a chance to have kids, and this has really been a blessing. I have bonded well with all but the oldest boy. The kids genuinely like me, but still respect my word in the home. We take the two youngest on vacation every year out of state. The only thing I DO miss is our just the two of us vacations, but there is still time for that.
We will be moving about a mile away from his ex, and she is excited we will be closer. She thinks we are going to be friends. I'm nice to her to keep things good for the youngest, I neither like nor respect her for reasons I wouldn't go into here.
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I have. Several times. Two for several years each. One was an infant (1 year old) when I met her mother, the other was 8 or 9.
The first there was no dad, she wanted a child on her own and her own terms without anyone else potentially legally butting in, so she went to a clinic. The second had an ex but they were on pretty good terms and swapped weeks.
No drama. Only issues were having to be flexible as kids get sick/things come up, and it is harder to be spontaneous, but otherwise, no biggie. Money was never an issue at all. I can only think of two times I spent money on either, and it was very little, both when they wanted fish tanks. I have extra tanks/supplies so there was only a little expense. The older kid grew out of it quick, the one when I met her was 5 at the time (now 6) and she still loves her betta. Of course, she wants a cat, rabbit, pony, etc too. Pretty damn cute and I don't even like kids.
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). Really none at all. I get along with both exes and they have both expressed gratitude about different things to me. Two are now out of school doing their own stuff, the Junior is so buys (sports, school, work) we don't see her as often as we would like, but I just took her and her friend prom dress shopping for a day. The youngest, 12, is with us once a week and every other weekend. 
I'm nice to her to keep things good for the youngest, I neither like nor respect her for reasons I wouldn't go into here.