Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm an Asia girl, I have an American boyfriend. My boyfriend is a very nice guy. I remembered that we've already had a lot of arguments about him keeping contact with his ex. He explained to me how normal it is, and tell me they are just normal chatting now. It's just like this for 2 years now i think. But recently my boyfriend is going back, so right now they just chat almost every day. I know they didn't say "I still love you",things like that, but it just makes me really uncomfortable, and I know this time when he goes back, he will definitely spend time with her, maybe not alone, but who knows. I told him before about my feelings, but he just makes me feel like I'm a *****, that I shouldn't stop them keeping chatting.
I don't know what to do, I mean we have very different culture. Can you give me some advises?
'
Tell HIM and if he does not cut back the amount of time he chats with her walk away and tell him why you are walking away.
Amazingly enough people can still be friends even after they break up but it appears to be an issue for you so your only choice is to tell him exactly what you think about the situation and see if he stops the contact.
Personally I would not want a girlfriend who is so jealous and possessive but that is just me.
Did you ask them how they started their relationship; cause i've got into a relationship with a best friend that I told everything it just didn't end up working out I still talk to her everyday and the feeling is mutual to her as well. The break up was more of just a mutual feeling that we knew things wouldn't work between us. It really depends on how the break up went to be completely honest. If she broke up with him, then maybe trouble? Idk honestly. Seems pretty normal to me... eventually your ex cannot be your worst enemy. I highly doubt they'll hook up @ all if he broke up with her though. When a guy ditches a girl, Like me... I'm just done.
I talk to most of my exes. I see no big deal at all.
I think I'm angry at my boyfriend is not because he keeps in touch, I mean daily base chatting with his ex; the main reason I feel I can't accept is that i've already told him many times that it makes me feel uncomfortable, but he still does that to me. It makes me feel he doesn't care about my feelings.
If I talk to my ex makes him feel not good, and he tells me, I will stop doing that for sure.
[quote=CSD610;33915446]Tell HIM and if he does not cut back the amount of time he chats with her walk away and tell him why you are walking away.
Amazingly enough people can still be friends even after they break up but it appears to be an issue for you so your only choice is to tell him exactly what you think about the situation and see if he stops the contact.
Personally I would not want a girlfriend who is so jealous and possessive but that is just me.[/QUOT]
I mean in my country, keeping in touch with exes like this is unacceptable, I think I've gave him enough freedom already.
He has already told me that he will not stop keeping in touch with his ex. And I know for sure that his ex still loves him. Because even his ex has a boyfriend now, she didn't tell his boyfriend that she is still talking to his ex. I'm angry at him, mostly because I've already told him that this will make me feel uncomfortable. but he is still doing this to me. He told me he loves me and wants to marry me, and we did say we're gonna get married next year. But recently we just fight a lot (we also have a business together, he told his ex that 90% of our conversation is just business), it makes feel like really not sure whether this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life is. (If he thinks that we can only talk about business, nothing else)
Sounds like he is using you for the business. I would try to get him out of your business and your life.
Find someone that adores you, and would never try to hurt you or your feelings. Someone that knows you are hurt by his continuing to involve his ex day to day, and tells you he intends to continue contacting her....Does NOT care about you.
And, find someone local....it will make your life happier. Knowing a person well enough to marry them involves lots of day to day contact...Make wise decisions about your future....And this man is not a good choice basd on his behavior.
And please....I wish folks would realize there are jerks in every culture....This guy is not a good example of a loving and caring man....no matter what his nationality is.
I think I'm angry at my boyfriend is not because he keeps in touch, I mean daily base chatting with his ex; the main reason I feel I can't accept is that i've already told him many times that it makes me feel uncomfortable, but he still does that to me. It makes me feel he doesn't care about my feelings.
If I talk to my ex makes him feel not good, and he tells me, I will stop doing that for sure.
You are right, your instincts about this man, not caring about you are right. Get out of this relationship!
Someone keeping in touch with an ex-SO isn't necessarily unheard of in this country, especially in rural areas where people often date lifelong friends and in Arkansas where you still see them at family reunions. But the amount of contact that he has with his ex coupled with the fact that he seems to have no respect for your feelings regarding the matter tells me that it's time to let this bird fly.
Last edited by duster1979; 03-17-2014 at 12:37 PM..
He has already told me that he will not stop keeping in touch with his ex. And I know for sure that his ex still loves him. Because even his ex has a boyfriend now, she didn't tell his boyfriend that she is still talking to his ex. I'm angry at him, mostly because I've already told him that this will make me feel uncomfortable. but he is still doing this to me. He told me he loves me and wants to marry me, and we did say we're gonna get married next year. But recently we just fight a lot (we also have a business together, he told his ex that 90% of our conversation is just business), it makes feel like really not sure whether this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life is. (If he thinks that we can only talk about business, nothing else)
This is strange. Does the ex know you're his gf? Or is he pretending you're just his business partner? People do stay friends with their exes sometimes, but it's that bolded part that makes the whole thing fishy.
This is strange. Does the ex know you're his gf? Or is he pretending you're just his business partner? People do stay friends with their exes sometimes, but it's that bolded part that makes the whole thing fishy.
I'm with you and duster on this. To be in daily contact with an ex, but more particularly, lying to the ex about the nature of your relationship makes me think there's a lot more going on here, none of it good.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
