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I'm an Asia girl, I have an American boyfriend. My boyfriend is a very nice guy. I remembered that we've already had a lot of arguments about him keeping contact with his ex. He explained to me how normal it is, and tell me they are just normal chatting now. It's just like this for 2 years now i think. But recently my boyfriend is going back, so right now they just chat almost every day. I know they didn't say "I still love you",things like that, but it just makes me really uncomfortable, and I know this time when he goes back, he will definetly spend time with her, maybe not alone, but who knows. I told him before about my feelings, but he just makes me feel like I'm a *****, that I shouldn't stop them keeping chatting.
I don't know what to do, I mean we have very different culture. Can you give me some advises?
Works the same in any culture. If your boyfriend does not respect your wishes you can either leave him or put up with it. You can't change him. You can't force anyone to change.
As for his relationship with his ex, if it's been going on since before you met him, you need to accept that she is special to him. Your only choices are the same: stay or leave. Complaints will push him away.
It is okay for you to ask him a few questions about their friendship, beyond that it's a lost cause.
Let's see what hypocritical advice is offered up in this thread considering how in a previous thread I said this was not okay. And I had the majority of people criticize my stance.
You need to leave this guy OP, this is just bad news!
Works the same in any culture. If your boyfriend does not respect your wishes you can either leave him or put up with it. You can't change him. You can't force anyone to change.
As for his relationship with his ex, if it's been going on since before you met him, you need to accept that she is special to him. Your only choices are the same: stay or leave. Complaints will push him away.
It is okay for you to ask him a few questions about their friendship, beyond that it's a lost cause.
He has already told me that he will not stop keeping in touch with his ex. And I know for sure that his ex still loves him. Because even his ex has a boyfriend now, she didn't tell his boyfriend that she is still talking to his ex. I'm angry at him, mostly because I've already told him that this will make me feel uncomfortable. but he is still doing this to me. He told me he loves me and wants to marry me, and we did say we're gonna get married next year. But recently we just fight a lot (we also have a business together, he told his ex that 90% of our conversation is just business), it makes feel like really not sure whether this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life is. (If he thinks that we can only talk about business, nothing else)
He has already told me that he will not stop keeping in touch with his ex. And I know for sure that his ex still loves him. Because even his ex has a boyfriend now, she didn't tell his boyfriend that she is still talking to his ex. I'm angry at him, mostly because I've already told him that this will make me feel uncomfortable. but he is still doing this to me. He told me he loves me and wants to marry me, and we did say we're gonna get married next year. But recently we just fight a lot (we also have a business together, he told his ex that 90% of our conversation is just business), it makes feel like really not sure whether this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life is. (If he thinks that we can only talk about business, nothing else)
Re-read your posts in your thread, I think you know this relationship needs to be axed. Such a bad idea to go into business with your SO.
Let's see what hypocritical advice is offered up in this thread considering how in a previous thread I said this was not okay. And I had the majority of people criticize my stance.
You need to leave this guy OP, this is just bad news!
I'll be consistent, his lack of respect for her is good enough reason to breakup.
Yeah, I know. It's really hard to end our relationship though.
Sometimes we have to make hard decisions in life that will hurt us but you have to look at the long term view. The hurt you will feel later if you continue this will be much much worse than the pain you will feel when you cut it off by your own CHOICE.
I believe you should move on. This guy is not responsive to your needs and continues to contact his ex on a daily basis, which you've told him makes you uncomfortable. You can do better and deserve better.
I talk to most of my exes. I see no big deal at all.
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