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Not all of life's experiences is going to be puppies and rainbows and you grow and learn from bad ones as much as good ones. In failed relationships, there were still moments of joy and bliss ... I tend to focus on those instead of pondering whether it was wasted time.
I could have done so many things, baby, if I could only stop my mind
from wonderin' what I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time
Another love has come and gone, and the years keep rushing on.
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
"Sometimes to keep it together, you got to leave it alone."
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find that it wasn't really wasted time.
Famous saying. Do you think this is true or false?
When I think of this from a general standpoint, I think it's true and I would encourage anyone to go for something rather than live life with nothing.
But, when I personalize this (as it pertains to my own life and relationships) I think I was happier before I had love and sex, when I was inexperienced. Of course, I still dreamt of those things and wanted them when I was inexperienced, but I didn't really know what I was missing. I just had ideas. You don't really know what you're missing until you have it. Now that I have had it before and don't have it now, I find that I am less happy than I was when I was inexperienced due to knowing exactly what I am missing. I mean, comparatively speaking. So, in a sense, I think it was better to have never loved at all.
What are your thoughts?
I honestly don't know. Maybe if you have had someone but lost that person, you have that memory of being with that person and certain fun times to look back on. However, they tend to be too painful due to what it led to.
However, if you never had someone, you don't have the pain of losing someone, but that is a completely different pain all together.
Famous saying. Do you think this is true or false?
When I think of this from a general standpoint, I think it's true and I would encourage anyone to go for something rather than live life with nothing.
But, when I personalize this (as it pertains to my own life and relationships) I think I was happier before I had love and sex, when I was inexperienced. Of course, I still dreamt of those things and wanted them when I was inexperienced, but I didn't really know what I was missing. I just had ideas. You don't really know what you're missing until you have it. Now that I have had it before and don't have it now, I find that I am less happy than I was when I was inexperienced due to knowing exactly what I am missing. I mean, comparatively speaking. So, in a sense, I think it was better to have never loved at all.
What are your thoughts?
False. I refuse to get attached to a woman. In the end, it just ends in heartbreak. I won't take that risk. I am glad I haven't been in love. I have seen what it does to people.
Even with all the possible downsides I would prefer to know what its like to love and be loved in return. Here is another passage from this same poem:
"Regret is dead, but love is more
Than in the summers that are flown
For I myself with these have grown
To something greater".
The first line of another passage in this same poem is particularly poignant:
"This held that sorrow makes us wise"
This is why I want to know what its like to love and be loved and gain the experiences Tennyson speaks of.
Should read: "Tis held that sorrow makes us wise" damn spell check.
I think anyone who has ever been through a gut wrenching heartbreak may be able to consider the "never loved at all" bit.
It was during those times that I really think its better to not know what you are missing, then to experience it and know what you had and feel that deep pain of loss.
I have a friend who has never been in love and she's in her 30s. While she wonders what its like and wants it one day she has also never known that heartbreak of loss.
I've definitely had heartbreaks in my past that I could look back and say I'd been better off if I never met that guy.
But wanting something and not having it can bring its own kind of pain as well.
We can't escape sorrow, but we don't have to fear it or think it's something that can't be recovered from so should be avoided at all costs.
But wanting something and not having it can bring its own kind of pain as well.
We can't escape sorrow, but we don't have to fear it or think it's something that can't be recovered from so should be avoided at all costs.
No, I get that too. And I am not saying it should be avoided.
But when I began dating and getting into all the heartbreak and hardships that it brought, I couldn't help but think back before I ever dated and how much happier and healthier I was. I had no baggage, no emotional wounds or scars. My self esteem and good. I was just healthier.
But that is just my experience. Obviously I've had more negative experiences than positive.
Famous saying. Do you think this is true or false?
When I think of this from a general standpoint, I think it's true and I would encourage anyone to go for something rather than live life with nothing.
But, when I personalize this (as it pertains to my own life and relationships) I think I was happier before I had love and sex, when I was inexperienced. Of course, I still dreamt of those things and wanted them when I was inexperienced, but I didn't really know what I was missing. I just had ideas. You don't really know what you're missing until you have it. Now that I have had it before and don't have it now, I find that I am less happy than I was when I was inexperienced due to knowing exactly what I am missing. I mean, comparatively speaking. So, in a sense, I think it was better to have never loved at all.
What are your thoughts?
Yes, because this is a winning attitude, and you eventually will win if you hold onto it.
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