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From a guys perspective it's tough for a woman to date if she isn't attractive. The same thing goes for guys though, if you nor somewhat good looking it's going to be tough to get a date. The difference? Is you really don't get a bunch of women on message boards saying, "I'm a nice girl but men won't date me." I mean it's almost exclusively a guy thing to go on a message board and say, "I'm nice guy why don't women like nice guys." Usually these guys don't get the message make yourself attractive whereas most women seem to get the message.
Are you sure about that?, women tend to have a better support network in real life to vent about their dating problems. You seem to be putting out there that there are more messed up guys then women. Honestly, I would say it is about equal.
Getting a date is not hard. Finding someone I want to be with and someone who is honest, upfront, that is the only thing hindering me from dating.
I am 20 years, I have yet to ever be in a relationship. I have had crushes back when I was a little younger. It never went any farther, either the guys just wanted sex, or they lost interest. Either I chose the wrong guys or I am truly a boring girl. I am reserved, and quiet. Typically because there aren't many people my age out there who share the same interests as I do. I like art, video games, anime, those types of thing. I am not a clubber, drinker, or smoker either. I have been told I am very attractive. I do exercise, to keep in shape.
Like I said, getting a date is not a problem. I just want something genuine, and all I really want is mutual attraction. I don't really fall for guys easily. The last one I liked, we were friends for 3 years. We haven't spoken in months. I was really broken up over that. At one point I thought he really liked me because he stuck around so long, but I guess it doesn't matter. I am not really looking forward to a relationship at this point because I don't like anyone. I don't want to date just to date. That's pointless for me.
As for women in general. Dating is hard for a lot of people. It's not really a gender thing. Unfortunately society is built on a lot of superficial things in terms of relationships. Looks, status, and money. I think a lot of people have twisted and turned relationships into a game and that was something it was never meant to be. I want to experience what "love/romance" feels like someday but if I don't. Oh well.
Are you sure about that?, women tend to have a better support network in real life to vent about their dating problems. You seem to be putting out there that there are more messed up guys then women. Honestly, I would say it is about equal.
You might be right. I've never been privy to a conversation of women who were unattractive saying they were nice and why they couldn't get in a relationship. Maybe that happens quite often, just not on message boards. I'm not indicating that more men are messed up. I just think it would be uncharacteristic of a woman to get on a message board like this in mass and indicate they are nice women who can't get a date and that all men want are certain qualities they don't posses. There are other complaints usually with men being insufficiently committal. I wouldn't say they are messed up for having that complaint.
I went through a dry period in my early twenties...the time that some men claim women are almost being constantly approached without having to do any work. During that time I had dropped out of college for a time and I know for a fact that amongst my peers that this influenced how they viewed me. I don't think that was the only reason though.
I had a roommate in college who was of average attractiveness, was slender. She had impeccable hair and makeup . She dressed tastefully. She attempted to initiate and show interest in guys but for some reason guys didn't seem to be attracted to her. I never could figure out why. Perhaps what I perceived as being of average attractiveness was not seen the same way to men, who knows.
You might be right. I've never been privy to a conversation of women who were unattractive saying they were nice and why they couldn't get in a relationship. Maybe that happens quite often, just not on message boards. I'm not indicating that more men are messed up. I just think it would be uncharacteristic of a woman to get on a message board like this in mass and indicate they are nice women who can't get a date and that all men want are certain qualities they don't posses. There are other complaints usually with men being insufficiently committal. I wouldn't say they are messed up for having that complaint.
Nah it's not about looks, so many people of all appearances are in relationships from the objectively beautiful to people with severe disfigurements.
I think possible factors are lack of opportunity (eg not meeting many available men for whatever reason) or some kind of personality issue eg extreme shyness or anxiety which could come across as aloofness, high standards or holding out for an ideal, being gun-shy from previous bad relationships, bad luck or something else.
Sometimes it's just inexplicable - I've known at least a couple of really nice (and nice looking) girls with good personalities who were single for years.
I think most women could rustle up a date if they went online but like people have said it doesn't mean you'll be compatible.
For ladies it's hard to find dates they are interested in.
Why? It just a simple matter of statistics here.
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
Multiply them up: 6.8% (that's just being generous with the statistics)
Meaning you are looking for the top 6.8% of men.
Now, for the average woman...do you consider yourself top 6.8% of women?
If you are not, why do you "deserve" the top 6.8% of men?
Ladies...you are essentially looking for that 9/10 guy. Well...do you consider yourself a 9/10?
I think its very shallow to rule out a guy just because he's not at least 6'0. The others I agree with though. I could never see the point in grown men playing video games for hours and hours. I don't even own a video game system
I like your premise but I disagree with your statistics. Where did they come from, I don't know anyone in real life who plays video games. If you are writing some women have problems dating because their expectations aren't realistic then that might be true for some women.
I think what I read from a lot of the women on here is that they don't have an outlet to meet quality guys. I do believe if you are a good, quality guy then more than likely you are married by the time your in your mid-thirties. Also guys who are divorced or unmarried around their forties either have some kind of issue with marriage or are in no position to be married--mentally unhealthy, financially unhealthy.
I did a study on this some time ago in school. I focused on a more exaggerated example in that study because it was hilarious, but I used more common ones as well. By the time you factored in availability, age range, height range (all very common "requirements"), most women were left with "about" 8% of men, and that's before some of the more strict (but nonetheless popular) requirements like education, salary, interests, etc.
The funny one in the initial example had literally narrowed her field down to .84 men in the entire world. Not .84%. .84. As in, of the 3.5 billion or whatever men on the planet, her compounded "requirements" list had mathematically eliminated all men on earth. Off the top of my head, it was a certain height, salary, hair color, ethnicity, a few skills (dancing, foreign language), love of cats, time to travel....I don't remember anything else.
So yeah, techrium made up some of those numbers, but they're not that far off. Replace the "video games" one with a more common requirement if you prefer. I'm at work right now and can dig up the study on my computer when I get home somewhere, but even the generously realistic expectatations eliminated most men, and a significantly higher portion of the expecations that the women met themselves.
This is going to sound horrible, but as long as a woman is attractive she's not going to have trouble getting dates. An attractive woman could be living at home, unemployed, stupid,crazy, and be rocking an STD, yet still have no trouble dating. This of course is the result of shallow men putting up with almost anything to be with an attractive woman.
The good news is that unlike previous generations half of being attractive these days is just simply not being overweight. This is a very controllable thing for most people. If your dating life sucks, try eating 1800 calories a day, while moderately exercising for 6 months. You may not look like a Hollywood actress, but you won't be fat unless you have medical issues. I realize this sounds cold, but just imagine having to look good as well as a bunch of other factors like: having a good job, not being short, having hair, being charming, smart and of a particular race in some areas.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,024,941 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium
Let's say 10% are jobless (unemployment rate 8-12%)
30% are chubby (America is actually 60% overweight/some states 30% obese)
10% are mean
10% are depressed
10% are "weird"
50% play video games.
70% aren't at least 6"0 and up
No wonder I do ok, the only one on here that fits me is weird. Norms are so boring!
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