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Hey, everybody has a past. But something like this isn't about a one-time mistake. It's about fundamental character. That's a little harder to get past.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
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Depends on how much of my past I'm expected to share with her. If I have to share all I've done and she was a former call girl I'd be p&ssed if she kept that from me.
Outsmarting each other in a relationship is not a healthy thing to do. But justifies the means when it comes to avoid future disaster (Was she a hooker? Do I want to have a bisexual husband as the father of my unborn kids? Does he really earn that much? How many times divorced is she? etc).
Which begs the question: How much hacking, investigating, questioning of your love interests phone, work, or computer records is justified? And does this prevent or enable a genuine relationship? The more one hides or secures the more skepticism it arises.
Overall there's no recipe for finding quick, easy, compatible partners.
All I know is that if a man "investigated" me, he'd be out so fast he wouldn't have time to bounce when his arse hit the pavement. Google me, fine. But start poking around my workplace, questioning my ex-boyfriends, and doing background checks on me, or trying to get into my phone or computer, and you're a paranoid, insecure freak on a good day, an obsessive whackadoo on a bad, plain and simple. And no, before you even attempt to say it, I've got nothing to hide. It's the principle of the thing. I don't want to be with any individual who would do something like that. It's inappropriate and wrong. If you don't trust what I say, don't date me, end of story.
All I know is that if a man "investigated" me, he'd be out so fast he wouldn't have time to bounce when his arse hit the pavement. Google me, fine. But start poking around my workplace, questioning my ex-boyfriends, and doing background checks on me, or trying to get into my phone or computer, and you're a paranoid, insecure freak on a good day, an obsessive whackadoo on a bad, plain and simple. And no, before you even attempt to say it, I've got nothing to hide. It's the principle of the thing. I don't want to be with any individual who would do something like that. It's inappropriate and wrong. If you don't trust what I say, don't date me, end of story.
Very understandable when you are older. Not saying snooping is okay, but a 20 something is going to have a much different outlook than you. Advice is cool, but relating to your own experience as a divorced late 40's woman isn't much help unless you qualify your experience with actual stories. I guess I'm starting to understand why most women on this site won''t honestly post on hypothetical threads.
Very understandable when you are older. Not saying snooping is okay, but a 20 something is going to have a much different outlook than you. Advice is cool, but relating to your own experience as a divorced late 40's woman isn't much help unless you qualify your experience with actual stories. I guess I'm starting to understand why most women on this site won''t honestly post on hypothetical threads.
Because I was born in my 40s and was never in my 20s.
Please. There is no such thing as a young, thin, educated, attractive, blonde intern in Washington who has not been propositioned for that kind of arrangement by someone at least once. But my mama raised me better than that, and so I said no.
Three times, three different men, one of whom was a Congressman.
Move along now. Nothing to see here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
(I would absolutely do it if I were female. Men are stupid.)
Just think of the book I could have written. It would have pre-dated Jessica Cutler's garbage by 10 years. Blasted Catholic schoolin' and being in love with my then-boyfriend.
Last edited by Lilac110; 04-06-2014 at 02:27 AM..
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