Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I can understand a woman being expected to cook if she is a stay at home Mom. You don't want your kids eating take-out or frozen junk, and it would be hard to work AND somehow cook three meals for your kids......
but 'equal' couples....again, it's individual. As long as the 'division of labor' is acceptable to the two people involved it doesn't matter.
My other Aunt does the meal planning and shopping, and her husband does the cooking and cleaning up. As far as I know she can cook - so perhaps he likes to, and she does her part. *shrug*
^^This. It's not income that determines who does what at home but rather who is employed full-time, part-time or stays at home.
Who's expecting men to date down? Where do you live, is this a regional thing? If you feel it's ok for the primary breadwinner to expect the secondary breadwinner to cook (in couples that don't earn more or less equally), then a few men will have to step up to the plate, and cook and clean. The trend in these days of high male unemployment or underemployment, and female dominance among college grads and certain graduate programs, is that more and more women are the primary breadwinners.
You haven't answered the question: "what then?" Are you saying that whoever the primary breadwinner is, male or female, they get to put their feet up when they get home, while the other (male or female) cooks and cleans?
^^This. It's not income that determines who does what at home but rather who is employed full-time, part-time or stays at home.
No one should even be staying at home....
And if you still expect a provider, then that equates to gender roles. So, yes... it is about income. Men are expected to provide financial security, surely females should be just as enthusiastic about gender roles when it comes to providing meals.
Kind of unfair for a guy to marry/date down, having her being a financial burden, and still having to cook his own meals.
So, we all know men are still expected to initiate everything and provide. But do you still think women should hold up their end of the gender roles with cooking and cleaning?
I cook for myself. I don't need a woman to do that for me.
So, we all know men are still expected to initiate everything and provide. But do you still think women should hold up their end of the gender roles with cooking and cleaning?
I, as a male, don't look at cooking, doing laundry, sewing, or anything else to be "gender roles" and never have. I never was one who sought a woman to serve me or wait on me. If I need food, I fetch it myself. If it needs preparing or cooking, I prepare or cook it myself. If I need laundry done or clothes ironed or mended or buttons sewn on or cleaning of a spill or vacuuming or whatever else, I simply get up and do it myself for myself (or for us, if need be). If any woman I'm involved with happens to be cooking anyway or simply volunteers that she wants to cook, that is OK . . . but she already knows or should know that I am not waiting for her to be my servant. And I will serve her if she needs me to (if not otherwise preoccupied with other important overriding matters).
I am so used to being on my own for decades since my mid-teens and doing for myself. And even when living with my parents before ever leaving home, my mother was the type to always want to wait on me for everything but I never really sought her out for this or expected her to do so otherwise (even as a child). If I wanted food, I simply got it out of the fridge or the cabinets and ate it, and if it needing preparing or cooking, I just used common sense and prepared or cooked it myself as best as I could. She stated once to me in my 20s "You know, you always had this independent streak about you!" and said it rather indignantly, like it really irritated or bothered her. That's just my nature and I don't like someone else (such as my mother) to be a control freak and to try to always micromanage me. It is overbearing. I have an independent mind and I don't seek or want a woman that seeks to obsess over me, pander to me constantly, and otherwise feels a need to micromanage my life. We can be enriching and fulfilling to each other in a host of other ways; you don't owe it to me to be my always-ready servant. I am quite capable of doing all these tasks myself and letting you attend to your own needs or interests (unless you just want to do it otherwise for me or are doing it for both of us, such as preparing a meal). Or we can prepare the entire meal together in a complementary way if need be (so it isn't too burdensome for one or the other).
And if you still expect a provider, then that equates to gender roles. So, yes... it is about income. Men are expected to provide financial security, surely females should be just as enthusiastic about gender roles when it comes to providing meals.
Kind of unfair for a guy to marry/date down, having her being a financial burden, and still having to cook his own meals.
Mod cut.
I'm curious - are relationships only about money and cooking to you?
Oh - and I'm staying at home. Why shouldn't I be? I'm raising our children - why is that a bad thing?
I, as a male, don't look at cooking, doing laundry, sewing, or anything else to be "gender roles" and never have. I never was one who sought a woman to serve me or wait on me. If I need food, I fetch it myself. If it needs preparing or cooking, I prepare or cook it myself. If I need laundry done or clothes mended or buttons sewn on or cleaning of a spill or vacuuming or whatever else, I simply get up and do it myself for myself. If any woman I'm involved with happens to be cooking anyway or simply volunteers that she wants to cook, that is OK . . . but she already knows or should know that I am not waiting for her to be my servant. And I will serve her if she needs me to (if not otherwise preoccupied with other important overriding matters).
I am so used to being on my own for decades since my mid-teens and doing for myself. And even when living with my parents before ever leaving home, my mother was the type to always want to wait on me for everything but I never sought her out for this or expected her to do so otherwise (even as a child). If I wanted food, I simply got it out of the fridge or the cabinets and ate it, and if it needing preparing or cooking, I just used common sense and prepared or cooked it myself as best as I could.
See, this ^^^ is the kind of guy who gets labeled "hot", as opposed to the whiney types who complain that they're not getting their due, the person in the servant role isn't doing her part.
What about you, why can't you learn? Why not learn together?
Its the womans job to cook for the family. Just how most woman on here say they want men to do their manly/gentlemen duties they expect a man to pay for dates and to be the one to ask them out, then I expect women to cook and clean.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
