Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This girl is my best friend for about 5 years. She was in a relationship that lasted something like 4 years that ended last year she learned that he was cheating on her the whole time with her best friend from way back and he has done a number of awful things since then. Shortly after breaking it off with that guy, she started seeing another guy who also cheated on her, but she didn't mind as much because she was just using him to not be so lonely and was actually still trying to reconcile with that ex the whole time anyway. Then this year, I reconnected with her after not seeing much of her due to my own crappy relationship, her ex's recent actions helped her realize that he isn't ever going to be good for her, she's broken up with that other guy she was seeing now, and she and I are officially seriously boyfriend/girlfriend in all respects (not just on Facebook...). However, as soon as the first exboyfriend found out that we're together now, he decided he wanted to try to rekindle things with her. Also, she's not "banging" either of these other dudes. She is very much NOT interested in "playing the field", she is strictly monogamous it seems and is definitely not interested in having fully intimate relationships with more than one person at once.
And that's where we are now. I was a little worried at first about this ex from before, but I'm not so worried now. We love each other and I'm confident that things are going to work out fine ultimately, even if this jerk is still trying to talk to her in the meantime.
And again, we're talking about living together, her moving 3 hours away from home to be with me, discussing the possibility of marriage. Please don't be naiive. Just because I leave out some tawdry details doesn't mean that we've still only cuddled.
Are you suggesting that she's just using me to not be lonely and that she's trying to reconcile with her ex?
This girl has a bit of a reverse-harem going. She has a wide selection of young men to pick from if she's just trying to use someone to not be lonely. Young men that live near her and could visit daily (or even live with her as her recent guy basically did). Why would she choose the one who lives 3 hours away? In another country? Why would she entertain the notion of moving to be with me if she was just using me? Why would she bring up the idea of marriage? Isn't it possible that we could build a real relationship out of our close friendship that always had an element of attraction below the surface?
If she were trying to reconcile with her ex, why would she tell me about him trying to weirdly rekindle things? Why would she turn down his offer to see him? I even said we could go if she wanted to go, but she recognized that nothing good could come of it. She's even turning down other friends' who she'd legitimately like to see who have invited her to come to this particular show because her ex is going to be there.
I will admit that she hasn't completely gotten over her failed relationship with this guy, but at the same time, she knows that there's nothing good there. She knows not to go back to that poisoned well. She's happy with me and doesn't want to do anything that might risk that.
I got an email recently about this thread from this site because it was a year old. I completely had forgotten about it. Anyway, I have a free moment, so I thought I'd drop in to offer a "where are they now".
We're still boyfriend/girlfriend. She's still in Canada, I'm still in Michigan. I drive out there almost every weekend and we see each other about once per week regardless. Her horrible ex from before is still trying to talk to her, her platonic friend is still in love with her and she's still OK with the problems that brings, and her ex that she broke up with to be with me is also trying to stay in her life too. A few pages back, someone called me a "beta male" and yeah, I guess I do fit that, eh? I got these dudes sniffing around my girlfriend and I'm unable to dissuade them. I'm not really worried about it, but it's still annoying.
Everything is mostly the same though with no solid change either for the better or for worse.
She quit her job suddenly a few months back, and I thought this might have been the door to encourage her to move to Windsor like she wants, but she couldn't afford it. She now has a great new job while staying with her parents. So I don't foresee any progress any time soon either.
I would intend to. I sure hope I can keep my wits about me well enough to do so. I might have to consciously control my intoxication level so that I don't get too out of control, but that's not so bad.
I don't think that SHE would make any advances though. As I said before, she's never expressed any sort of physical attraction. Just because she cuddled me back doesn't mean that she has any interest in bedding me. Plus, I just found out that the guy she's seeing is going to be around this weekend, so I really don't think she'd try to jump my bones while he's around, and if she did, that would make it all the easier to refuse.
You've mentioned various times about "getting intoxicated". Why is there such a continuous drive on your part (her part too, it seems) to "get intoxicated" with one another? Even though I am not a social drinker and never have been, I think I understand that opposite-sex people people tend to intoxicated with one another in order to lower their inhibitions, to find themselves better able to just hang loose and not be so self-conscious and uptight with one another, et al. If you and this woman are just pure platonic friends and you (and her too, I assume?) don't want it to go anywhere beyond that, then why are you getting drunk with one another? Just hang out with each other without the booze (or drugs, such as marijuana or anything else) and be in your natural non-mind-altered state of mind when with one another. Alcohol or drugs are mind-altering substances which often just confuses the situation and may well result in outcomes which are, in the end, not wanted by one or the other person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
