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My husband and I hung with with some new friends this past weekend. (We've known them for awhile, but have never hung out with them). We all had our kids with us too. My husband and I are pretty affectionate with each other…we hold hands, he generally has his arm around me, we sit close to each other, playful pats or swipes…that kind of thing. This couple was the exact opposite. So much so that I wondered if they were in a fight. I mean, they talked and interacted normally. But, for example, the four grown ups were sitting on a bench (weird in itself) and these two seriously managed to keep two or three inches in between themselves. Meanwhile, my husband had his arm around me and my hand was on his leg. Later in the day they almost bumped into each other, and it was like there was an invisible wall between them. In that same situation, my husband and I would have had a hand on each other's waist or arm or something.
And they are totally affectionate with their kids (and with ours, actually. Him more than her though). So it's not like they just aren't "touchy" people.
Just looking for some insight. I don't feel like my husband and I are "over the top" in terms of PDA. I've definitely been with other couples that hug and kiss…we are not like that. This was just a bit striking…Am I making too much of it?
Some people are mortified by the thought of displaying affections publicly.
But I also knew a guy who was ashamed of having married who he did. He probably married her out of low self-esteem... he could barely look her in the eye.
My wife and I are similar to you, OP. We have friends similar to yours. In most cases, as far as we know, they have a good relationship. Can't speak to their physical affection in private, but I can't imagine they have as physically intimate of a relationship as my wife and I do. However, it's not our business and if they're happy with it, then they are.
Some people are scared to death of any public displays of affection whatsoever. The polar opposite of making out in a movie theater.
Yeah. They seem like warm people. And like I said, the husband was very sweet with the kids, holding their hands and keeping an arm on their shoulders. Maybe the wife is the one that is setting the tone for it. They don't wear wedding bands either. In and of itself, not a big deal. But that whole thing where they almost bumped into each other and did this weird recoil thing is what really made me notice the way they were with each other. And how they managed to keep space between themselves on that crowded bench.
Of course, I know that every couple has their own dynamic. And I really like them a lot, individually and as a couple. Hopefully they stay a couple so we can continue to hang out with them!
Yeah. They seem like warm people. And like I said, the husband was very sweet with the kids, holding their hands and keeping an arm on their shoulders. Maybe the wife is the one that is setting the tone for it. They don't wear wedding bands either. In and of itself, not a big deal. But that whole thing where they almost bumped into each other and did this weird recoil thing is what really made me notice the way they were with each other. And how they managed to keep space between themselves on that crowded bench.
Of course, I know that every couple has their own dynamic. And I really like them a lot, individually and as a couple. Hopefully they stay a couple so we can continue to hang out with them!
How long have they been married?
Chances are they don't care to be around each other. There are alot of people in it for the kids.
Great to hear you have a good marriage. How long have you been married?
My husband and I have had our share of troubles…every couple married that long does. I guess I'm finding myself curious about theirs bcs of the way they interact.
In the culture where I live, it's unusual for couples to touch each other much in public. I often don't know two people are a couple until someone tells me, or one of them mentions it.
I did know one couple who had this as a conscious policy. They felt that giving each other special attention was exclusionary to other people, or something. But, overall, I think it's not something people think about. We just do what we see others doing, because that is what feels natural.
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My husband and I are pretty affectionate with each other…we hold hands, he generally has his arm around me, we sit close to each other, playful pats or swipes…that kind of thing.
Where I live, this would be incredibly awkward. No one would know where to look or what to do, and you would quickly feel uncomfortable. We save the raunchiness for private times .
PDA is for high school kids showing off to others, why do you have to kiss in front of people in public? it looks so imature in my opinion
it really looks silly if the couple is over 50 and they still act like high school kids on a date and hug & kiss right in front of a crowd like they are putting on show for everybody to watch
your not a kid, stop kissing & hugging out in public, only in privacy
it actually looks disrespectful, especially in front of older relatives or seniors
there is still something called being a gentleman and a lady, a real gentleman or lady doesnt do that in public.
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