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Oh, bologna. Other women might consider it a sign he's the one for them. They would be trusting their instincts too! I still contend that early "I love you"s can come from many different types of people, for several different reasons (one of which is that they think the other wants to hear it). My wife and I had this sort of beginning. Interesting to think that what made the difference between her being a lunatic and her just following her heart was that I said "I love you" back. So if I didn't feel the "I love you" forming on my lips, I should've called the loony bin pronto. That's a logical argument, right?
That is actually a very solid point. People use the "When you know, you know" explanation all. the. friggin. time when telling their friends and family why they did this and that so quickly. It is possible this guy just took all of these events to mean more than they really did.
I do think stalking her at the bar was a bit over the top, but since he had just recently met her at a bar, I guess he was imagining all kinds of scenarios of her picking up other guys there.
I do think stalking her at the bar was a bit over the top, but since he had just recently met her at a bar, I guess he was imagining all kinds of scenarios of her picking up other guys there.
Which is a totally irrational and unhealthy way to think. That's like saying if you happen to meet your partner at a grocery store, it's understandable if they don't want to going to the grocery store ever again in case you happen to meet someone else. That's exactly how these paranoid control people think all the time and it's why they don't want their partner going anywhere without them. It's not "a bit over the top", it's freaking psycho and honestly, it's disturbing that you can't see just how toxic thing kind of behavior is.
Which is a totally irrational and unhealthy way to think. That's like saying if you happen to meet your partner at a grocery store, it's understandable if they don't want to going to the grocery store ever again in case you happen to meet someone else. That's exactly how these paranoid control people think all the time and it's why they don't want their partner going anywhere without them. It's not "a bit over the top", it's freaking psycho and honestly, it's disturbing that you can't see just how toxic thing kind of behavior is.
Well no, I can see why he would be concerned about the bar (much easier to hook up there than the grocery store), but it doesn't justify the stalking.
Definitely made the right choice in ditching this guy it seems. But with that being said a guy telling you he loves you pretty soon isn't necessarily a bad thing.
When I first saw my wife I was attracted to her but too shy to talk to her aside from the conversation we had when she came to my workplace to discuss some things the college she was attending offered. I never tried to talk to her about a date.
Things kept coming up where friends would mention hanging out with her (she was in college in my hometown and not from around there) and I would see her around town from time to time.
Eventually I worked up the nerve to talk to her and was pretty infatuated with her by that point. I mean I couldn't stop thinking about her. When I asked her out she accepted on the condition that I let her roommate come with us. I agreed. After about two weeks of talking on the phone and the sporadic quick dinner here or there I slipped and told her I loved her too. She never said it back, but didn't shy away from me either even though she admitted it kind of threw up a caution flag. I didn't press her and just let her know this was how I felt and that I didn't expect her to say it back if she didn't mean it.
Eventually we became a couple and I actually moved 300 miles away to be with her when she moved back to her hometown.
Fast forward to today. We celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary this past Sunday and 14 years together. We have two kids and are still just as much in love today as we were before we married. She's my best friend.
So, it CAN happen. But I do agree you have to be careful.
Why would she want to run? She enjoyed being with him, they had a great time together, and she is very much attracted to him. I admit that was a little soon to be saying the L word, bt if she is still having fun with him, see where it goes. She can "run" anytime she no longer wants to be with him.
Why would she want to run? She enjoyed being with him, they had a great time together, and she is very much attracted to him. I admit that was a little soon to be saying the L word, bt if she is still having fun with him, see where it goes. She can "run" anytime she no longer wants to be with him.
I do think stalking her at the bar was a bit over the top, but since he had just recently met her at a bar, I guess he was imagining all kinds of scenarios of her picking up other guys there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK
Which is a totally irrational and unhealthy way to think. That's like saying if you happen to meet your partner at a grocery store, it's understandable if they don't want to going to the grocery store ever again in case you happen to meet someone else. That's exactly how these paranoid control people think all the time and it's why they don't want their partner going anywhere without them. It's not "a bit over the top", it's freaking psycho and honestly, it's disturbing that you can't see just how toxic thing kind of behavior is.
Hmmm, I didn't read everything, did he also start banging on her door or something?
And were they exclusive? Because if not, especially knowing that the OP is up for sex without commitment, why would it be irrational for this guy to think she might be hooking up with someone else? She made no promise not to. She didn't even imply that he shouldn't worry about it. I'm not saying she should have, mind you, just that his thinking she might be doing this isn't what's irrational - just his behavior.
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