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I met this girl through mutual friends a few months ago. She had a boyfriend and thought nothing of it, she was just a girl I had mutual friends with. Her and her boyfriend were together for about 18 months - 2 years, and about 2 months ago he ended it through social media with her. As far as I know she cut contact with him. About the past three weeks or so me and this girl have gotten kinda close, some things in common etc. We watched a film with mutual friends and when the mutual friends had gone to bed, me and this girl got close and kissed. Exchanged numbers, arranged a date for tomorrow. One of our mutual friends also liked/likes me, so this girl said we should keep the fact me and her were getting a bit close quiet, as she didn't want to upset her friend/ruin their friendship. However, I later received a message saying she'd told our mutual friend and the mutual friend was OK about it.
We've been texting slowly - hours in between (bad sign?) - over the past week or so, and like I said, we've arranged a date. We've kissed. But either way, I'm still very hesitant and cautious about it. I don't want to be the rebound because I actually quite like this girl and would like to get to know her better. Either way, I'm closing off any interest so I don't get attached.
She hasn't yet mentioned her ex to me, which I've been listening out for, but she has mentioned my ex. She thought me and my ex finished only recently, which I told her wasn't the case, it was over a year ago.
I just don't know what to do or how to play this. Does this sound like I'm simply her rebound guy?
So basically this is a pointless exercise me texting and dating this girl, it won't go anywhere? I should just cut my losses before I get too involved?
I met this girl through mutual friends a few months ago. She had a boyfriend and thought nothing of it, she was just a girl I had mutual friends with. Her and her boyfriend were together for about 18 months - 2 years, and about 2 months ago he ended it through social media with her. As far as I know she cut contact with him. About the past three weeks or so me and this girl have gotten kinda close, some things in common etc. We watched a film with mutual friends and when the mutual friends had gone to bed, me and this girl got close and kissed. Exchanged numbers, arranged a date for tomorrow. One of our mutual friends also liked/likes me, so this girl said we should keep the fact me and her were getting a bit close quiet, as she didn't want to upset her friend/ruin their friendship. However, I later received a message saying she'd told our mutual friend and the mutual friend was OK about it.
We've been texting slowly - hours in between (bad sign?) - over the past week or so, and like I said, we've arranged a date. We've kissed. But either way, I'm still very hesitant and cautious about it. I don't want to be the rebound because I actually quite like this girl and would like to get to know her better. Either way, I'm closing off any interest so I don't get attached.
She hasn't yet mentioned her ex to me, which I've been listening out for, but she has mentioned my ex. She thought me and my ex finished only recently, which I told her wasn't the case, it was over a year ago.
I just don't know what to do or how to play this. Does this sound like I'm simply her rebound guy?
Stop over analyzing the situation and take things as they happen.
Why are you listening out for anything about her ex? That is past right now and should stay that way.
The one thing that would trouble me the most is her telling you to keep you pending relationship a secret.
She either wants to be with you or she doesn't and if you really wanted to be with the other girl I would guess you would already be with the other girl.
As far as the texting time frame goes, so what, people have jobs, lives, responsibilities, have to take showers, chat with others, do homework, watch television, twiddle their thumbs. I have friends and family that it can take days before they text back and I think nothing of it.
Stop over analyzing the situation and take things as they happen.
Yeah, I do that. More so here now because of her 2 month split from her ex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Why are you listening out for anything about her ex? That is past right now and should stay that way.
Well, I figured if she started mentioning him then she's not over him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
The one thing that would trouble me the most is her telling you to keep you pending relationship a secret.
She either wants to be with you or she doesn't and if you really wanted to be with the other girl I would guess you would already be with the other girl.
Yeah, that was my exact same thought, the fact she wanted to keep it secret from our mutual friend who liked me, which in turn would mean it was quiet from everyone. She said she wanted to keep it quiet because she didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings/mess up a friendship. But then that same day, she told our mutual friend?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
As far as the texting time frame goes, so what, people have jobs, lives, responsibilities, have to take showers, chat with others, do homework, watch television, twiddle their thumbs. I have friends and family that it can take days before they text back and I think nothing of it.
Yeah that's true, I guess I'm basing texting on past relationships were it was a constant wave of texts from both me and the girl I was dating/in a relationship with.
Never base a current relationship or prospect of a current relationship on the past. The dynamics of each relationship are different.
As far as mentioning the ex, my Husband and I talk about our ex spouses all the time and we have been "over" them for a long time.
Just because she talks about him does not mean she isn't ready to move on, he was part of her life for a while and she has memories that she will mention from time to time.
So, quit over analyzing already and see where things go, don't assume anything based on past relationships in reference to a current relationship.
Yeah, that's the thing though, she's only been out of her long term relationship for 2 months, is that, realistically, enough time for someone to be moved on from their ex and ready for a new relationship?
Yeah, that's the thing though, she's only been out of her long term relationship for 2 months, is that, realistically, enough time for someone to be moved on from their ex and ready for a new relationship?
it depends on the person.. and for all you know she hasnt been happy for months and was over him before the split..
Yeah. Well, I know he ended it out of the blue through Facebook or something. She took it hard I think, went out on nights out drinking etc. Hence me being cautious.
More so because, my last relationship messed me up something bad, and now I actually like this new girl I don't want a repeat.
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