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Doing the same thing and expecting a different result? Only by habit I fell into the "doing the same thing" I really thought even though we are the same two individuals we could make it. But yes, I talk too much when he does something out of line and then he's not sure we should be together. Pretty much always the pattern and pretty much in some way always involves his flirting or worse.
No , he has made me question my attractiveness. People get older, they get less attractive. That is a fact. So no he is not helping my overall self esteem. When things are good with us, they really are so good.
Respectfully, are you drunk? Because NONE of that made any sense.
Because he wants to do what he wants to do without you "hassling" him. And he doesn't seem to care if it bothers you, which is the OPPOSITE of commitment.
I do understand on some level. Commitment is when things come up that we disagree on, working together to find a solution so we stay together. Not doing whatever he wants without concern as to weather or not it will hurt me. That is my point. Agreeing in public for all our friends and family to see that he will spend time with a woman everyone knows he cheated on me with is the opposite of commitment and it's damn mortifying too. That is why I got so angry. We made up after that fight but he doesn't want to show (or doesn't feel any) concern for if I'm around or not.
Someone else called me attention seeking. I want his attention, yes, I really wish there was an answer in general that could fix things between us. It's as though through some magic he saw my point of view that night and was sweet to me and then he goes back to pushing me away again. I just don't get that.
Respectfully, are you drunk? Because NONE of that made any sense.
No, but I could use a drink. She asked me if I knew the definition of insanity. And for some reason I went on to add that when things are good between him and I they are REALLY good. They were like that after the fight about this ex sniffing around. Then out of the blue he goes and pushes me away again. I want to know why and how I can break that pattern.
No, but I could use a drink. She asked me if I knew the definition of insanity. And for some reason I went on to add that when things are good between him and I they are REALLY good. They were like that after the fight about this ex sniffing around. Then out of the blue he goes and pushes me away again. I want to know why and how I can break that pattern.
You cannot change ANYthing about him.
You can only change how YOU act and react. That is why you were told to look up the definition of insanity, because you keep letting him back in but expect him to be different.
You can only change how YOU act and react. That is why you were told to look up the definition of insanity, because you keep letting him back in but expect him to be different.
Have to agree. There is nothing that can be done for someone that doesn't want to change. You can nag and yell until you're blue in the face. They'll just get annoyed and want you to shut up, and they'll go on to do as they please. They just don't wanna hear you whine about it.
You can't change anyone. You can let them know you're not happy, but in then, if they care enough, they will admit they could have an issue, and genuinely want to fix it, if they love the other person enough.
But apparently, you have made other posts about this guy, and he has not changed. So, apparently, he doesn't love you enough to. And as long as you take him back, and stay with him despite his horrid treatment of you, he has no reason to change. You don't give him one.
You can only change how YOU act and react. That is why you were told to look up the definition of insanity, because you keep letting him back in but expect him to be different.
ok. can't rep you again by the way. I thought , hoped he had learned his lesson about the cheating. (and as I type I realize how stupid that sounds.) Yeah, I let him in too easily which is something I always do. I think if I can change, I want to say be nicer but I think the problem is being too nice. I am sad and confused. Some men never grow up. Maybe he's one of them. Maybe it isn't a question of growing up. I want to understand.
I think he doesn't want to be committed, but I insist so he goes along with it and when he gets tired of being a good boyfriend he does what ever he wants. I think that is what happened. He wants sex so he is committed as long as he can be and then says I talk too much (which in all honesty I do) and wants to not be committed. I'm not wanting to understand, if I even have this right. When I commit, I do it the opposite way, I stay committed beyond what 90%+ people in the USA think I should be. I stay through deal breakers hoping to fix things so he will stay committed. But people do what they want to do. If he wants to see the ex, he will see the ex. If he doesn't care that the whole world sees that one day he's with me and a few days later he's agreeing to spend time with her, then he doesn't care and must want the whole world to see that this home wrecker still wants him and he's happy about it.
I question myself and I being too uptight about this? I don't think so. I know I am mortified. And he should care about that.
But like some people here say the sky is falling or I'm trying to say it is. He isn't who I hope he is so I'm losing nothing I get that too. Wmsn4Life in this particular instance regarding the face book posts, do you think I am over reacting? Anyone?
Have to agree. There is nothing that can be done for someone that doesn't want to change. You can nag and yell until you're blue in the face. They'll just get annoyed and want you to shut up, and they'll go on to do as they please. They just don't wanna hear you whine about it.
You can't change anyone. You can let them know you're not happy, but in then, if they care enough, they will admit they could have an issue, and genuinely want to fix it, if they love the other person enough.
But apparently, you have made other posts about this guy, and he has not changed. So, apparently, he doesn't love you enough to. And as long as you take him back, and stay with him despite his horrid treatment of you, he has no reason to change. You don't give him one.
Thank you this is to the point. He doesn't love me enough to line up with my definition of doing the right thing. I left before, somehow, through my talking too much and other reasons he gives for what I do wrong (never mind what set off the discussion) it doesn't matter because it starts off happy but goes downhill at some point.
You are NOT being too uptight!! Oh my GOD you have to realize that you let him have his cake and eat it too.
He acts sweet so he gets to climb up on you anytime he wants, then when he gets tired of following "your" rules, he goes off with this other woman. That is WRONG behavior. It is not only disrespectful but it is kinda evil.
Look, love is not supposed to make you feel bad. Do you feel good? Are you happy right now???
If not, GET RID of what is causing the misery. He is selfish and is NOT going to change.
You are NOT being too uptight!! Oh my GOD you have to realize that you let him have his cake and eat it too.
He acts sweet so he gets to climb up on you anytime he wants, then when he gets tired of following "your" rules, he goes off with this other woman. That is WRONG behavior. It is not only disrespectful but it is kinda evil.
Look, love is not supposed to make you feel bad. Do you feel good? Are you happy right now???
If not, GET RID of what is causing the misery. He is selfish and is NOT going to change.
Thank you a million times thank you for responding. For caring enough to respond. I get that you a stranger show more concern for me than him. Yes, he wants sex and that was probably why he made up with me after the fight. It's hard to believe he doesn't love me. His mom will be just as heart broken as me, no joke. And I feel bad about that too but she has to understand, after all she was married to his father and the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree here. There will be so many people I have to cut out of my life, at least temporarily here. And I really love his family and friends. I also know they have to go and that makes it hard too. Thank you again.
Thank you a million times thank you for responding. For caring enough to respond. I get that you a stranger show more concern for me than him. Yes, he wants sex and that was probably why he made up with me after the fight. It's hard to believe he doesn't love me. His mom will be just as heart broken as me, no joke. And I feel bad about that too but she has to understand, after all she was married to his father and the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree here. There will be so many people I have to cut out of my life, at least temporarily here. And I really love his family and friends. I also know they have to go and that makes it hard too. Thank you again.
Do the healthy thing... I know that is easier said than done... believe it or not but there is a large handful of people here that are emotionally/spiritually healthy enough to recommend good advice and actually want people to do well...........
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We made up after that fight but he doesn't want to show (or doesn't feel any) concern for if I'm around or not. 
