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Why are people given a hard time from others just because they decide not to date or find a relationship with the opposite or same gender? This isn't a pity thread or attacking one gender or another, personally I think relationships are an amazing experience if and only when both parties are comfortable with who they are. Same thing I can say with being single, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to pursue or date. One of my friends asked me the idea of casual dating or taking relationship/dating classes just to gain experience. I simply said no because I don't see the point of dating when you're not interested, of course things can change as someone grows older.
I just wanted to hear people's thoughts on the matter, I've seen a couple of threads where people question why someone wouldn't date person x for whatever reason. I'm interested in hearing people's opinions.
Misery loves co.
People who criticize you for living your life the way you do do so because they want you to feel bad about yourself so they can feel better about their own crappy lives.
People who are happy are glad to see what works for you in your life makes you joyous and content genuinely want you to continue to be happy along the path you chose and encourage you to do so because they ACCEPT you and their own self, too.
Well with society as it is, lots of infasis is placed on relationships, and more importantly, sex.
If someone is single, many wonder why? They think it's because they're weird, or nobody wants them. So, that makes them a target for ridicule , or something like "least I am better than them." I had no boyfriend in HS, and a guy says I was mad because "nobody wanted" me. In truth, I just didn't like him, and his friends, because they were all jerks. Me being single had no influence on that.
Nowadays many people measure another's worth by how much they date, or can get laid. Or, that being single is sad and lonely, and everyone should experience love.
I have been asked a few times why don't I have a boyfriend. Which is an annoying question. How can I answer that? I am ugly, and guys don't like me I guess. Maybe that's the answer they're looking for. I just say that, and move on. "Idk, i'm ugly I guess." Then go on about my business, and they no pursue any further.
My friend got her boyfriend when she was around 19 or 20. She texted me after her date to say how great it was. I congratulated her. I met her boyfriend once. Seemed like a nice guy, so that was good. Later she texted to talk about him, which was fine. But then the convo got around to me, with her asking if I met any guys yet. I simply said no. Then, annoyingly, she asked "Why?" Again, how should I know? So, then she wants to go on about hoping I can find someone, as if I was a pity case. But the convo didn't get far because I didn't make effort to continue it. She just kept feeding me the classic old lines, and I would reply "Eh" to every last one of them. Until she changed the subject.
If people wanna chat about their relationships to me, fine. I don't mind. But I find it annoying when they bring it to me and wanna get details on why I am not matched up.
So, some people just buy into that. If you're single, or not having casual sex, you're lonely, or a loser. But if you're happy single, that's great. Because relationships are not guarantee, so it's best to learn to be very happy single, then a relationship can add to the happiness, but not have happiness based around it.
Yep, I agree 100% with your post. I might start saying the same thing you say when someone brings up the topic of dating.
The minute you don't need validation and approval from others for living how you choose to live is the minute you are free. And that freedom gives you a strangely calm and zen-like feeling (see my username). Life is less stressful because you are not over-thinking every move you make and losing sleep worrying about shallow things that don't really matter.
We are each on an individual and very personal path in life. When you are not waking up each day chasing your own dreams you are more than likely chasing someone else's dreams (most people are). Its a trap to get caught up in the social status (look at me!!) game. What you are really doing is wasting your life posing for the camera instead of going out and living the life you want to live. Then you wake up one day old and grey and realize you never lived the life you wanted because you were trying to please or impress people who are dead now or who you don't even associate with anymore. Puts things in perspective doesn't it? But its too late by then.
This is why many foreigners come to the U.S. and become wildly successful very quickly. While the native borns are busy posing for the camera and trying to keep up with trends and have high social status.. the foreigner is doing the most practical thing = Focusing on his/her individual goals and little else.
I say all this to make the point that you shouldn't care what people think in most situations. Its a very popular thing to say, but it needs to be put in perspective before you can really grasp why.
Well with society as it is, lots of infasis is placed on relationships, and more importantly, sex.
If someone is single, many wonder why? They think it's because they're weird, or nobody wants them. So, that makes them a target for ridicule , or something like "least I am better than them." I had no boyfriend in HS, and a guy says I was mad because "nobody wanted" me. In truth, I just didn't like him, and his friends, because they were all jerks. Me being single had no influence on that.
Nowadays many people measure another's worth by how much they date, or can get laid. Or, that being single is sad and lonely, and everyone should experience love.
I have been asked a few times why don't I have a boyfriend. Which is an annoying question. How can I answer that? I am ugly, and guys don't like me I guess. Maybe that's the answer they're looking for. I just say that, and move on. "Idk, i'm ugly I guess." Then go on about my business, and they no pursue any further.
My friend got her boyfriend when she was around 19 or 20. She texted me after her date to say how great it was. I congratulated her. I met her boyfriend once. Seemed like a nice guy, so that was good. Later she texted to talk about him, which was fine. But then the convo got around to me, with her asking if I met any guys yet. I simply said no. Then, annoyingly, she asked "Why?" Again, how should I know? So, then she wants to go on about hoping I can find someone, as if I was a pity case. But the convo didn't get far because I didn't make effort to continue it. She just kept feeding me the classic old lines, and I would reply "Eh" to every last one of them. Until she changed the subject.
If people wanna chat about their relationships to me, fine. I don't mind. But I find it annoying when they bring it to me and wanna get details on why I am not matched up.
So, some people just buy into that. If you're single, or not having casual sex, you're lonely, or a loser. But if you're happy single, that's great. Because relationships are not guarantee, so it's best to learn to be very happy single, then a relationship can add to the happiness, but not have happiness based around it.
Choosing not to date is a different thing, but some people say they are choosing not to date when in reality, nobody has wanted them anyway. Unfortunately I do think a part of those people are losers in some way. I mean there's 6 billion people in the world (maybe more) and not one of them wants you? That's how I look at it.
Choosing not to date is a different thing, but some people say they are choosing not to date when in reality, nobody has wanted them anyway. Unfortunately I do think a part of those people are losers in some way. I mean there's 6 billion people in the world (maybe more) and not one of them wants you? That's how I look at it.
Anyone who thinks someone's dating life determines if they are a loser or not is a loser themselves.
There is nothing wrong with it as long as it's not out of fear or other avoidance issues.
Perosnal choice is personal choice, keep on rocking what works for you.
Choosing not to date is a different thing, but some people say they are choosing not to date when in reality, nobody has wanted them anyway. Unfortunately I do think a part of those people are losers in some way. I mean there's 6 billion people in the world (maybe more) and not one of them wants you? That's how I look at it.
Calling someone a loser because they aren't getting any dates...is just...wrong. I'm not trying to argue with you or come at you or anything but people shouldn't put their self value in the hands of dating. Nothing good ever comes out of that. It's a very immature way of thinking. It's okay to want or desire a partner, on you OWN accord, but don't let what society determine what you SHOULD be doing in your life.
Calling someone a loser because they aren't getting any dates...is just...wrong. I'm not trying to argue with you or come at you or anything but people shouldn't put their self value in the hands of dating. Nothing good ever comes out of that. It's a very immature way of thinking. It's okay to want or desire a partner, on you OWN accord, but don't let what society determine what you SHOULD be doing in your life.
Agree 100%!
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