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Do you find there is more pressure on one gender to get married and settle down after 30? Or is the pressure about equal?
Now that I'm over 30 a lot of my friends are rushing into serious relationships and many are getting married or already married. It sucks for me because I still enjoy playing the field and going out on the weekends. Its becoming more difficult as I have very few unattached friends now. What surprised me is the speed of this change. Basically I went from having loads of single friends to only a few in less than 2 years.
I still have no interest in settling down, marriage or kids anytime soon.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Do you find there is more pressure on one gender to get married and settle down after 30? Or is the pressure about equal?
Now that I'm over 30 a lot of my friends are rushing into serious relationships and many are getting married or already married. It sucks for me because I still enjoy playing the field and going out on the weekends. Its becoming more difficult as I have very few unattached friends now. What surprised me is the speed of this change. Basically I went from having loads of single friends to only a few in less than 2 years.
I still have no interest in settling down, marriage or kids anytime soon.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Your thoughts?
This didn't happen to me. Only 1 woman among my friends got married so far, and that was in her late 20's. The rest are still single. Same with the guys--still single. I don't think there's any pressure. Even if there were, what difference would it make? It takes two to tango. There's really not a whole lot you can do about it, if you don't find people you're compatible with, or you don't attract attention.
When I reached 25 or so, I felt that relationships of less than 5 years were 'been there, done that'. A longer relationship, 10 years or more, seemed like new and exciting territory. I wanted to see what it would be like.
Do you find there is more pressure on one gender to get married and settle down after 30? Or is the pressure about equal?
Now that I'm over 30 a lot of my friends are rushing into serious relationships and many are getting married or already married. It sucks for me because I still enjoy playing the field and going out on the weekends. Its becoming more difficult as I have very few unattached friends now. What surprised me is the speed of this change. Basically I went from having loads of single friends to only a few in less than 2 years.
I still have no interest in settling down, marriage or kids anytime soon.
I don't know what it is about age 30, but it seems like people have some kind of complex with that age. A lot of women have meltdowns when they turn 30. Especially if they are still single. I think this is ridiculous. And all the 27-29 year old women freaking out and feverishly looking for a partner before it is "too late" as if you become a senior citizen on your 30th birthday.
Your thoughts?
I can in some ways see some people's "freaking out" about 30... just in terms of relationships, because it's true to a degree that by the late 20's and 30, that a lot of people are snatched up and married and having kids, if that's on their life plan. The pickings do get a little slimmer at those ages.
That's the first phase of relationships in a way, the second phase is all of the same people now in their late 30's or 40's that are divorced and are back in the dating market... so in a sense there is a gap.
This isn't across the board for everyone, obviously, but a very loose observation.
I can in some ways see some people's "freaking out" about 30... just in terms of relationships, because it's true to a degree that by the late 20's and 30, that a lot of people are snatched up and married and having kids, if that's on their life plan. The pickings do get a little slimmer at those ages.
That's the first phase of relationships in a way, the second phase is all of the same people now in their late 30's or 40's that are divorced and are back in the dating market... so in a sense there is a gap.
This isn't across the board for everyone, obviously, but a very loose observation.
And that social pressure to marry and settle down is why the divorce rate is so high. Marriage and settling down is not what a lot of people really want.. but they allow social pressure and fear to push them into a situation they are no ready for or even suited for.
I can in some ways see some people's "freaking out" about 30... just in terms of relationships, because it's true to a degree that by the late 20's and 30, that a lot of people are snatched up and married and having kids, if that's on their life plan. The pickings do get a little slimmer at those ages.
That's the first phase of relationships in a way, the second phase is all of the same people now in their late 30's or 40's that are divorced and are back in the dating market... so in a sense there is a gap.
This isn't across the board for everyone, obviously, but a very loose observation.
In California, the land of eternal youth, when I meet divorced people my age, they tend to be from elsewhere. And lots of people are just getting started getting settled around 30-ish. In my circle it is around 50/50 these days.
In California, the land of eternal youth, when I meet divorced people my age, they tend to be from elsewhere. And lots of people are just getting started getting settled around 30-ish. In my circle it is around 50/50 these days.
I'm from So Cal and see lots of the same...
That's why I put the disclaimer in my post by saying a loose observation.
In California, the land of eternal youth, when I meet divorced people my age, they tend to be from elsewhere. And lots of people are just getting started getting settled around 30-ish. In my circle it is around 50/50 these days.
This is the thing. I think the "pressure" is regional. I never noticed any pressure at all in the West Coast areas where I've lived, or in liberal areas of the SW. I don't include Texas in my definition of SW, btw.
I can in some ways see some people's "freaking out" about 30... just in terms of relationships, because it's true to a degree that by the late 20's and 30, that a lot of people are snatched up and married and having kids, if that's on their life plan. The pickings do get a little slimmer at those ages.
That's the first phase of relationships in a way, the second phase is all of the same people now in their late 30's or 40's that are divorced and are back in the dating market... so in a sense there is a gap.
This isn't across the board for everyone, obviously, but a very loose observation.
I'm noticing this a whole lot now with friends & acquaintances in my age group (30s-40s). Most the people I know who had kids in their 20s aren't with their child's mother or father anymore.. Some who are are admittedly miserable! The ones who aren't single have seemed to find greater loves w/ new partners who are good w/ the kids too.. But all in all, it all makes me so glad I didn't rush into marriage and children!
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