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"We've had a lot of accusations about this forum being a "man-haters club" lately"
I haven't noticed such posts.
That's sort of one of my points. This forum is not the den of man haters some guys make it out to be. In fact, some if the most aggressive and insideous mud-slinging directed toward men on this forum has come from other men. But we also have a lot of positive thinking men who are regulars here. And we have a lot of women who seem to appreciate that.
That's sort of one of my points. This forum is not the den of man haters some guys make it out to be. In fact, some if the most aggressive and insideous mud-slinging directed toward men on this forum has come from other men. But we also have a lot of positive thinking men who are regulars here. And we have a lot of women who seem to appreciate that.
Yes...I've noticed the man to man too flung poo here as well. Generally directed at men who try to have an understanding of women by guys who are bitter and jaded. I've run across ,I believe but two, women on here that validate these guys stereotypes, but they are REAL throwbacks from the majority. Gotten a couple...interesting..DMs from some guys and one of the aforementioned women. Read, chuckle, delete, ignore. In that order lol.
But, at least I know, I am denied entrance into a couple exclusive clubs, Cruz my man card is incomplete and I'm missing some key attributes on my certificate. KNEW I'd regret blowing off those seminars. The university of manhood I attended is considered anachronistic amongst certain circles of the academia of guydom, it seems. More...progressive...thinking is becoming trendy in some recently published and implemented curriculum. Its ALL the rage Daddy O. LMAO.
I have noticed, however, that my takes on things and the experiences I've shared on here are generally well received by most. the commentary I've gotten, minus the aforementioned DMs, has all been engaging and friendly. O e of those DMs was particularly interesting , as the guy, who I had never engaged discussion with, was tossing some pretty harsh stuff out because of an engaging and quite interesting dialogue I had with another (female) poster whom he had an axe to grind with.
As if who I interact with and how was actually any concern of his. Its not lime he was participating in or even invited to do so, with that dialogue. Probably some other rule that governs that exclusive club regarding warning us unsuspecting know nothings about the female predators lurking in here. Bwababababa!! Dey gwanna GIT you boy!!! ( oops there's the B word again) Ha!!
Presumably most of us are reasonably happy with our biology, and don’t regret the gender of our birth, or regard it as some imposition contrary to our sensibilities.
The quandary comes from the inconsistencies and ambiguity of gender roles in modern life. In many matters, most reasonable people in the West believe in gender equality. We no longer limit the right to vote, the access to education, the right to hold and to bequeath property, to serve in elected office, to bear witness and so forth, to one "preferred" gender. Most of us, even in traditional fields such as engineering, are reasonably comfortable with working for a female supervisor (despite occasionally fantasizing about her coming into the office wearing a short skirt and tight blouse). Most marriages are supposed to be gender-equal, even if the husband squashes the spiders and the wife selects the curtains.
And yet there are distinct gender differences, both in nature and nurture. In the context of this forum, the chief such difference is that men bear primary responsibility for initiation of romantic contact, while primary women's role is to accept or to reject. Those women who are not favored with frequent appeal from men, or for whom the suitors are in whatever sense deficient, will find themselves in parlous and pitiable state. Those men who are too fretful or reticent to approach, or whose advances are too frequently rebuffed, will be in similar state. Therefore to say that "I'm glad that I'm a man" means that "I'm glad that the both the onus to initiate – and the privilege of figuring out whom to approach, and when – is something that I accept, and in which I rejoice". To say that "I regret having to be a man" is not a confession of gender- confusion, but a statement meaning "I wish that someone else took the initiative, even at the cost of reducing my options".
This regret might be of two kinds. The first is the regret that society has changed too much, and that a man's natural proclivities are too circumscribed by changed mores. We'll call this the "caveman" regret. The second is quite the opposite, namely that society hasn't changed enough, and that too much of caveman-type of aggression is still incumbent upon men. We'll call this the "metro" regret.
The modern man is stuck between "caveman" and "metro". This doesn't imply that he regrets being male. But it does suggest tensions and frustrations that were not operative 100 or even 50 years ago.
Obviously the question in the title is directed toward the other men on the forum, but women are welcome to participate in this conversation as well.
We've had a lot of accusations about this forum being a "man-haters club" lately. The idea that the forum is full of bitter and angry women and white knights to me is completely ridiculous. Some of the men who are regulars around here and draw a lot of positive feedback from female members seem pretty masculine to me. And I know I wouldn't hang around if this place were truly a man-haters club.
So here is a thread espousing the virtues of manhood. Aside from the physical definition, there are a lot of things we can use to describe manhood, and indeed some traits that many consider "masculine" are common in females too and may be absent in some men even. So I certainly do not expect a standard replies in a "one size fits all" manner. We all view our masculinity differently.
Here are some of the ways I view my own:
Men should have courtesy for their partner: I do not need my wife's permission to do anything, but I esteem her high enough to ensure what I do is fine by her.
Men should know when to ask for help: I can make my own decisions, but I'm smart enough to know my wife can be a valuable source of advice. I value her input so I ask her to give it.
Men should be boys: I don't ever want to get so immersed in my manhood that I forget what it was like to be a boy. This is especially important because I have two boys. I can't stress how important it is for me to spend time and play with them, take interest in their interests, and show them that a man can (and should be) a boy sometimes too.
Men should be tender: I have a daughter as well, and I believe she will set her own expectations for a man in her own life based on my influence. I hope to leave her with high expectations, but at the same time she sees the mistakes I make too, so she should not develop unrealistic expectations.
Men should be tough: Life is tough and when it gets in your face you can back down or rise to the occasion. I don't back down from challenges.
Men should display judgment: I don't back down from challenges, but I also try to discern when to make a stand and when to allow something to pass uncontested. You can't die on every hill.
I could go on but you get the idea. A lot of my hobbies are probably considered "masculine" hobbies, though many are neutral (such as pursuit of fitness goals). I enjoy muscle cars/hot rods, hunting, camping, hiking, writing, having a couple beers after work, sports, and many other interests. As a Marine officer I work in and excel in a male-dominated occupation. None of these define my masculinity, though I believe many of them reinforce it. I make no claim that my brand of masculinity is definitive.
I am interested to hear what other men have to say about themselves. I welcome the perspective of the women in the class, too. For the men, how does your masculinity shape your approach to your relationship with women? For the women, what is it you have come to value and respect in men.
Finally, the idea behind this thread is to serve as a forum for espousing male virtue. It is entirely possible to do this without putting down females, or devolving and calling other men derogatory terms such as "white knight" or "mangina." There is nothing wrong with being masculine and proud of it, and I'm confident most regulars on this forum would agree.
I'm glad I'm a man. I mean I see it as an advantage.
And I agree with this OP. I do have a different way of looking at certain aspects of your post, but I agree with it 100%
"Men Should be boys:" I feel that compared to who I am going to be, I am a boy more or less. But yeah, I do have some activities and hobbies that can be considered masculine. I am a little "tender" when it comes to how I treat women and I can be mistaken for a "white knight" or a "mangina". But I was treated great by women all my life other than a select few.
I'm glad I'm a man. I mean I see it as an advantage.
And I agree with this OP. I do have a different way of looking at certain aspects of your post, but I agree with it 100%
"Men Should be boys:" I feel that compared to who I am going to be, I am a boy more or less. But yeah, I do have some activities and hobbies that can be considered masculine. I am a little "tender" when it comes to how I treat women and I can be mistaken for a "white knight" or a "mangina". But I was treated great by women all my life other than a select few.
Can we just be clear that these two stupid terms found in the urban dictionary mean absolutely nothing at all out in the real world, and it's just snivelly little whiners using them to put other men down to make themselves feel better?
Can we just be clear that these two stupid terms found in the urban dictionary mean absolutely nothing at all out in the real world, and it's just snivelly little whiners using them to put other men down to make themselves feel better?
Common knowledge to us men, and the women that love them.
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The university of manhood I attended is considered anachronistic amongst certain circles of the academia of guydom, it seems. More...progressive...thinking is becoming trendy in some recently published and implemented curriculum. Its ALL the rage Daddy O. 
LMAO. 
Its not lime he was participating in or even invited to do so, with that dialogue. Probably some other rule that governs that exclusive club regarding warning us unsuspecting know nothings about the female predators lurking in here. Bwababababa!! Dey gwanna GIT you boy!!! ( oops there's the B word again) Ha!!
