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I'm thinking this can't be a real post. First you said you don't have great sex but then you say the sex is great.
And I don't know why you'd stay with someone like this for 2 years, let alone even move in with them.
I noticed the contradiction about the sex, too. Which is it, OP? Is it great, or not so much? Or is it that it gets rationed out parsimoniously, at her whim?
It sounds like you are wondering if all relationships are like this. No, they aren't.
As for whether you should stay, I can't advise you.
I do think that, if you are relatively healthy and kind person, being open to a committed and sexual relationship at your age means that you will have plenty of awesome women to choose from. IME, many men your age either are not very interested in sex, or are uninterested in settling down with one partner. So you are a bit of a catch . I don't think you need to worry that this is your last chance.
Being willing to put up with a pretty high level of personal issues in a partner is also a desirable trait -- you are not overly picky. For yourself, you could maybe stand to be a little more picky.
I noticed the contradiction about the sex, too. Which is it, OP? Is it great, or not so much? Or is it that it gets rationed out parsimoniously, at her whim?
And the lack of passion and all that "don't look!", "don't touch!" that he describes hardly sounds like great sex.
Am I expecting too much for this woman? Should I run now and find someone who doesn't always have to be in control of everything? Should I give up on performing oral sex and just be satisfied with what she is willing to give? I have never met anyone like her. When I tell her she is a control freak she says she is not, that she has just had to make all the decisions in her house for years because of being a single mother and raising children alone. I kind kind of understand some aspects of this, but it doesn't explain the don't look at me naked, don't touch my boobs etc part of the crazy sex stuff.
Ideas/advice?
Get the hell out of there! Why have you waited so long? She sounds like a big PITA. I'd have told her to pound sand a long time ago.
The traits/"quirks" you list sound like a nightmare if they are legit. But you fully acknowledge that the "quirks" were there all along, and it's been two years.
You say, "My friends say I should not question the relationship because she is good looking, smart and makes good money." If you, yourself, decided to trade on normal behavior so that you could be with a younger woman your friends consider hot, smart, and well-off, that appears to have been a poor choice on your part. Because, two years later, shocker, she still has the "quirks," and you're no longer happy with the "hot, makes good money, smart" thing, with the rest of the package that's coming with that. I can't say I blame you, but I have to ask why you thought this was tolerable in the first place. No, it's not normal.
Sit around naked, getting high and drinking, use the F word constantly and tell her if she doesn't like it she can lump it. After she makes you a sandwich.
i wouldnt do the getting high routine, and i wouldnt use the F word all the time, and given her propensity to make foods he doesnt like, i would make my own sandwich, and then turn on the race and crank up the volume.
People are treated the way they allow others to treat them. You sound quite aware of her behavior and are not ok with it. That's because it sounds like a parent/child relationship, alot of men are ok with this type of dynamic (it can work the other way too, plenty of controlling men . . .)
Sounds like you need to be with a woman that will treat you like a man. A relationship is about two people listening, sharing thoughts & ideas, supporting each other, mutual respect, kindness and compassion.
No one can change anyone and since she doesn't seem to have the ability to listen and see her own behavior than there isn't really anything you can do except ask yourself how long do you want to continue being in this type of relationship.
I find controlling people draining, they'll drain someone to the degree they're needy - yuck - air !
This is from insecurities within, the need to control everyone & everything, so unhealthy.
If it was me, I would get out of that relationship.
On the other hand I suspect there is another side to this story ... her side.
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. I don't think you need to worry that this is your last chance.
