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Yes, I know what you're talking about, this is very rude. Years ago I dated a guy for awhile nice guy easy to get along with until he started bringing up the ex and the fights,etc. I said look I'm not your therapist so maybe save this conversation for a session, I also said if there is something I need to know like you have kids or a business with her them briefly tell me. He kinda understood ? Anyway, last straw at dinner a few weeks after that it started up again, I said dinner is over and so is our date. I told h
Oh yikes . . . I told him this isn't what I have in mind getting to know someone, he just sorta understood? Then a couple years after that he called and wanted to go out I said I'm not available.
I don't know why anyone would even think that something like that is appropriate during a first date. In fact, unless the ex is really a substantial part of your life, no matter how bad it was with the ex, it's pointless even bringing it up. Every other thing out of her mouth tonight was about her ex. Ironically, she mentioned that her ex moved on and is dating someone new. I should have called it quits during the date, but I was polite enough to end the night. I just was very very irritated by the end of the night and definitely did not want to see her again. She just screamed "damaged goods".
When I'm out with a girl, I'm eager to learn more about her, I couldn't care less about my exs and I don't talk to them. It's like when you go on and on about your ex, you just subconsciously tell the other person that you were the issue, not your 'ex'.
I am assuming you meet online. That probably means Y'all did the usual first date banter on the phone or by email.
I tell people this all the time, meeting someone you've been talking to online is not a usual first date. You know this person. You've been talking to them and reading about them. Where as a first date is usually someone you meet casually and are just now getting to know each other. For instance, you meet a girl at work and talk to her pertaining work. You don't know her high school, her life, who she is really, there is a lot of mystery. Not so online.
All that said, no, you probably shouldn't drone on and on about your ex during any date, let alone the first.
Most who continue to talk about exes do so because they aren't over them yet, nor ready to move on.
Yep.
Looking back on my previous dating days, any time I talked about an ex, it's because I wasn't over him. Once in a VERY blue moon an ex MIGHT come up, but it's usually because of a different experience that the ex happened to be involved in.
To be truthful, I've been with my boyfriend so long I hardly remember any of my ex's.
If she's still talking about him, I'd bail. There's a difference between "my last relationship was x years or x months ago" and "My ex is such a jerk, he doesn't know what he lost, I'm so hot now, blah blah blah". Do both of you a favor.
Looking back on my previous dating days, any time I talked about an ex, it's because I wasn't over him. Once in a VERY blue moon an ex MIGHT come up, but it's usually because of a different experience that the ex happened to be involved in.
To be truthful, I've been with my boyfriend so long I hardly remember any of my ex's.
If she's still talking about him, I'd bail. There's a difference between "my last relationship was x years or x months ago" and "My ex is such a jerk, he doesn't know what he lost, I'm so hot now, blah blah blah". Do both of you a favor.
Well when you have children, ex's are immediately drawn into the conversation, is my experience.
When you've just been dating or living with someone and no children, its easier to avoid the ex talk
Well when you have children, ex's are immediately drawn into the conversation, is my experience.
When you've just been dating or living with someone and no children, its easier to avoid the ex talk
Children are obviously an exception. A positive relationship with the other parent is actually something I'd see favorably. However, the rule still applies with ex bashing. If you are constantly bashing your ex, it might make me nervous or put off.
My parents haven't spoke since 2004, however my father avoids bashing my mother. He just asks how she is and leaves it at that, even though I know he has no desire to ever speak to her again. My mother drags him through the mud every chance she gets. My father was remarried and my mother is still struggling with emotionally unavailable men. Meh.
Children are obviously an exception. A positive relationship with the other parent is actually something I'd see favorably. However, the rule still applies with ex bashing. If you are constantly bashing your ex, it might make me nervous or put off.
My parents haven't spoke since 2004, however my father avoids bashing my mother. He just asks how she is and leaves it at that, even though I know he has no desire to ever speak to her again. My mother drags him through the mud every chance she gets. My father was remarried and my mother is still struggling with emotionally unavailable men. Meh.
I go along with that. Its just this idea of "no ex talk" doesn't always work. We've all been out with someone who is not over the other person yet. There is a difference between talking about your ex, and obsession
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