Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I talk to people everywhere. Make conversation in the checkout line. Ask someone where they're headed when we both happen to be waiting for the same train. Mention that whatever dish they ordered looks good or their hair is done in a nice style. I sort of expect people to be the same way towards me (sort of because I'm optimistic and only sort of because people in my region of the country - SoNE/NY metro - aren't generally as warm and fuzzy as other places).
BUT "approach" can mean two different things. If a guy just approached me out of the blue and asked me out or asked for my number, I'd be pretty skeeved out. But if he started talking to me and we got into a 10min conversation or so - yes, this has happened - then I would be comfortable with that. I do that with a lot of people myself.
As for where? Anywhere. Gym, grocery store, train, restaurant, beach...you name it.
FWIW, I wouldn't go to a club if I was looking for a potential boyfriend.
This. It's pretty simple, guys. But it seems like the only people doing it are women. Why aren't guys making conversation in the checkout line, while waiting for transit, etc.? And as she says, the cold approach is best done when preceded with a pleasant chat, so the woman can get comfortable with you.
To anonymous reppers: I guess I wasn't taking OP's phrase too literally.. I was more thinking of a fun non-casual and harmless place a guy can approach a woman without looking like a creeper.
Fun non-casual are always great places to meet people when we're out and about, in-the-moment, adrenaline rushed, not overly thinking much.
Yeah, I realize that, but I'm just talking about empathy. Like, if someone woman (this would never happen because women don't do this) came up to me and was all nervous and said "hey, I think you look good" (which is a terrible opening line), I wouldn't go "get lost." Even if I was unattracted, I'd think, "wow, that took a lot of guts" and at least be polite to her for a little and try to chat with her (even though I just posted on another thread that I hate small talk).
Most women, I realize, get hit on a lot by guys they aren't interested in. But consequently, they put up a barrier of major disinterest, which makes it tough to approach them. That's whether you realize you're doing it or not. Then, the same woman will go "why can't I meet someone?" Here's a tip: you're never going to ONLY have hot guys hit on you. If you want guys to approach you, you need to be open to being approached by EVERYONE. It's not like you can force Joe Schmoe to stay away while wishing that Tom Brady is going to magically knock on your door.
That's a guy's perspective, for what it's worth.
Actually, that isn't really what I meant. You would have to come across extraordinarily trustworthy for me to even thing about giving you my number after 1 sentence. But if I have talked to you for a few minutes, and felt comfortable, then the odds are much much higher I would accept.
Just being attractive to me isn't enough. You have to meet a minimum level of vetting before I'll give you any personal info about me.
I could find you super attractive, but the odds are slim I'd give you my number unless I know wrought about you. Maybe if I had seen you around before at several places. But 30 seconds after meeting you on the street? No way! If I am meeting you at your workplace....then maybe.
I had a guy come up and tell me that if I didn't give him my number he'd throw himself in front of a truck. I said, give me yours instead. If I give you mine would you call me? No, but I would call your next of kin... It would be the least I could do for someone who'd throw themselves in front of a truck for me.
Women can be approached almost anywhere. A friend of mine got into a good convo with a woman while waiting in a doctor's office. They've been together now for a couple of years. Opportunity is everywhere. Don't underestimate it, and don't let it pass you by.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979
Listen closely guys.
The best place to pick up women is everywhere. My best pick up line is, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
If shes interested she will keep the conversation going. If she isn't, you'll know. Its why I never wear a watch while single
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979
No, you don't.
Thats the thing. If you walk up to a woman, and she is interested at all (lets face it we are visual creatures), then she won't leave the conversation at that. The next words will be, "So, are you in a hurry to a big meeting" or something sly to keep you talking.
Women I know, have been friends with, and in my family that I've all known agree that, in general, they are just waiting for a guy to muster up the courage just to say high. If you can say one line to a lady, if she likes you, they'll take it from there.
In other words if she just looks at you strange or just tells you the time and walks off, then they weren't into you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sobaloba
That's your call, I guess. I mean, obviously you can just label those guys as losers and move on, but that's why women are all complaining about "where are the good guys???" Ever thought that maybe you could give some dude a break and realize it's very intimidating to go to a stranger and tell them that you think they're attractive? Or are you too awesome for that?
Actually, that isn't really what I meant. You would have to come across extraordinarily trustworthy for me to even thing about giving you my number after 1 sentence. But if I have talked to you for a few minutes, and felt comfortable, then the odds are much much higher I would accept.
Just being attractive to me isn't enough. You have to meet a minimum level of vetting before I'll give you any personal info about me.
I can vouch for the fact that this works. The goal is to establish some minimum rapport while talking to the woman. Nobody just goes up to a stranger out of the blue, blurts a compliment or other comment, then asks for a number.
Thats the thing. If you walk up to a woman, and she is interested at all (lets face it we are visual creatures), then she won't leave the conversation at that. The next words will be, "So, are you in a hurry to a big meeting" or something sly to keep you talking.
This may work for guys who are good-looking. But for more average guys (and even for hot guys, if the woman walking by has a lot on her mind), you need to do something to really engage her. There are women who, after giving you the time and walking past, will stop at some point after the fact (later in the day, or the next day), and think, "Was that guy hitting on me? Did I miss an opportunity?" As often as not, you need to follow up your opening request with something more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979;
Women I know, have been friends with, and in my family that I've all known agree that, in general, they are just waiting for a guy to muster up the courage just to say high. If you can say one line to a lady, if she likes you, they'll take it from there.
It's true that many women are just waiting for a guy to say "hi", and start a casual chat. I've said the same here many times. But this rarely works on the street, as has been discussed here often. It's fine for stores, coffeeshops, concerts and other events. But IME the "do you have the time" question happens most on the street, as people are walking by. If you're going to do that, you usually need to come up with more, to hold her interest. The street approach is a bit more challenging.
Curiously enough, they don't approach me at the rifle range, when I'm there practicing, my notebook open to record my shots, my shoulder holster strapped on, even when I'm shooting my .308 over iron sights, my support arm slung in a combat style sling.
This. It's pretty simple, guys. But it seems like the only people doing it are women. Why aren't guys making conversation in the checkout line, while waiting for transit, etc.? And as she says, the cold approach is best done when preceded with a pleasant chat, so the woman can get comfortable with you.
Lol, you think most of the approaches being done are women approaching men? Most women are too scared or hide behind traditional gender roles to approach men. If men stopped pursuing women, the human race would just die out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess I wasn't taking OP's phrase too literally.. I was more thinking of a fun non-casual and harmless place a guy can approach a woman without looking like a creeper. 
