Marrying a rich Mail-Order Bride? Pros and Cons? (dating, wife, girlfriend)
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If you have read some of my relationship posts lately, I am a single dad at 38 and having trouble meeting women as I am so busy with my toddler and my 1-month online experiment so far gives me little hope.
My friends tried to set me up with other singles and divorcees but I am either not physically attracted to them or I prefer not to get into a relationship with women who have 2 or more children. I am OK with women with 1 child and draw the line at that. I believe it can gets too complicated. So far no luck.
I came to this country when I was 15. Naturally, my dad and relatives believe that I should marry a girl with no children from my old country and they already lined up a few for me. Some are as young as 21 and the oldest is 30. Most of them are poor or middle income but the 30 year old's family is rich, even by American standard. The 30 year old was very attractive when I met her 10 years ago when I was 28 and she was 20. My mom and her mom tried to set us up. Back then her family driver, took me and her to a national park and in the back seat, she put her right hand on my left thigh. I wasn't sure if it was an accident or intentional but since I had a girlfriend, my college sweetheart who is now my ex, I didn't make any advance and went back to the US and we haven't talked since. I am not sure how much she has changed in the 10 years. She is also divorced after a 4 year marriage, with no children, her rich husband is a gambler and a serial cheater. In my old country, there is a stigma against women who are divorced. She speaks English well and I think will adapt to this country very quickly. Her father was a student of my father. He is an official, probably very corrupt like most are in my old country, and he offered to give his daughter and me $500,000 cash if I marry her. I don't know for sure but I think this guy is probably planning to have his daughter here and then transfer his ill gotten gains over here for safe keeping. She is his only daughter.
I am attracted to her, the money is a plus but I am nervous because she is used to a high status lifestyle with multiple servants/butlers in the house doing everything for them. I don't know if she can live a middle class life or not. What do you think?
Well, she isn't really a mail-order bride if you knew her already. It would be like going back to anyone in the past really. Why don't you take a trip out to see her and see if the sparks are still there. And when you are there, talk to her about how her life would change if she came to the US (or you could move there maybe). You might find you aren't interested anymore when you reconnect.
I'd be wary of ill gotten gains. I am not sure what country you are talking about, but some countries have mafia-like organization with far reaching hands. Best to stay out of any of that sort of mess for your sake and the sake of your child.
Get to know her. Your questions will be answered in that process.
Why does her dad need to use her (and you) to hide his illegal stash? Those people know how to use foreign bank accounts. That part of your story doesn't add up.
A 38-year-old single dad shouldn't be having that much trouble meeting anyone suitable here, either. There should be lots of single moms in your community, dropping their kids off at the same daycare you use, and attending kiddie events. In a few years, your child will be playing soccer with the other kids, and you'll be meeting single soccer moms. Are you this impatient for company that you can't wait? You're considering marrying a mafia daughter, you're so impatient?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-06-2014 at 12:55 PM..
Get to know her. Your questions will be answered in that process.
Why does her dad need to use her (and you) to hide his illegal stash? Those people know how to use foreign bank accounts. That part of your story doesn't add up. A 38-year-old single dad shouldn't be having that much trouble meeting anyone suitable here, either. There should be lots of single moms in your community, dropping their kids off at the same daycare you use, and attending kiddie events. In a few years, your child will be playing soccer with the other kids, and you'll be meeting single soccer moms. Are you this impatient for company that you can't wait? You're considering marrying a mafia daughter, you're so impatient?
As for the single dad running into trouble dating bit... Most 38-year-olds have older kids, not toddlers, and that makes it harder to date. Women without kids (and women his age, but with older kids) might see a toddler as a deal-breaker. It's unfair, yes. But it's what a lot of single parents run into to when they are the ones with primary or even shared custody.
But I so agree that the ill gotten gains bit is a huge risk for him and his daughter--depending on where that money came from. I'd say since he has a history with this women, give it a shot, but be wary of (or leave behind) the money. In the end, the money is not worth the trouble and heartache it could bring.
Her father is not a mobster. Just an official who may have siphoned money off public projects or promoted people for a monetary gift. It happens a lot and most will never get prosecuted. Many of them want to come here and keep their money here just in case their faction loses power. He is a middle official so not some body that will make the newspapers any time. He wants to retire in the US. Currently it is just preliminary talk between the parents. I have no idea if she is in the plan or not. I may go back this Christmas to visit my sick grandma so I may talk to her about it.
Her father is not a mobster. Just an official who may have siphoned money off public projects or promoted people for a monetary gift. It happens a lot and most will never get prosecuted. Many of them want to come here and keep their money here just in case their faction loses power. He is a middle official so not some body that will make the newspapers any time. He wants to retire in the US. Currently it is just preliminary talk between the parents. I have no idea if she is in the plan or not. I may go back this Christmas to visit my sick grandma so I may talk to her about it.
The definition of "mafia" in Russia (and I assume, Eastern Europe) is different than it is here. By their standards, what you describe is "mafia". He probably has some cronies or "employees" who help him keep his cover, and who aren't adverse to threatening potential whistle blowers. That is one type of "mafia".
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