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Well, say there was a situation that you found out that occurred before you and your SO were dating and just questioned your SO? Maybe they were extremely embarrassed, so they acted in a fit of rage and basically told you to leave their apartment.
You had no one else to talk to about this and confided in a parent/grandparent?
Yes, this situation was sexual.
Now they are basically judging this person, which was a big mistake because you feel uncomfortable dating that person. In fact, your grandparent prays that you leave this person on a regular basis.
You and this person basically reconcile and continue the relationship, but in the back of your mind, you know that your family will always feel this way. So it bothers you and kind of prevents you from giving 100% to the relationship.
Would you tell your SO what you did/fess up to your faux pas to move past this? Or just pretend to let it not bother you..? Even knowing how your family feels about this person.
I have no idea what you are trying to say, your circular description confuses things even more.
My SO and I had a heated argument after I confronted him about something I found out. He basically got so upset that he told me to leave. When I arrived back home, my grandmother saw how upset I was and I confided in her. My SO and I reconciled, but now my grandmother does not like this person and prays that we break up. She has even told me this.
I feel torn because I know my grandmother will always feel that way about my SO..and I was wondering if I should tell him, that I've told her this potentially embarrassing piece of information.
My SO and I had a heated argument after I confronted him about something I found out. He basically got so upset that he told me to leave. When I arrived back home, my grandmother saw how upset I was and I confided in her. My SO and I reconciled, but now my grandmother does not like this person and prays that we break up. She has even told me this.
I feel torn because I know my grandmother will always feel that way about my SO..and I was wondering if I should tell him, that I've told her this potentially embarrassing piece of information.
So you confronted him about something that happened before you even met or started dating, he got mad, you are wondering why he got mad, you broke up, you got back together AFTER you told your Grandmother and now you wonder if you should tell him that you told your Grandmother about his prior to knowing/dating you escapades?
First you should not have confronted him, then you should not have told Grandma, then you should not have gotten back together because you will in time keep bringing up this issue that was a non issue until you made it an issue and Grandma may say something to him as well so then he will know from Grandma that she knows.
Why would you create such a mess then wonder why he got upset?
So you confronted him about something that happened before you even met or started dating, he got mad, you are wondering why he got mad, you broke up, you got back together AFTER you told your Grandmother and now you wonder if you should tell him that you told your Grandmother about his prior to knowing/dating you escapades?
First you should not have confronted him, then you should not have told Grandma, then you should not have gotten back together because you will in time keep bringing up this issue that was a non issue until you made it an issue and Grandma may say something to him as well so then he will know from Grandma that she knows.
Why would you create such a mess then wonder why he got upset?
Basically.
I guess I did confront him. I just asked for verification because I wanted to know. Especially since it involves someone he brings up very often and had mentioned they slept together once. I guess I was a bit jealous. He kept bringing this person up. Their name was on the netflix, he mentioned I should talk to this person about getting help with something and he used this person's resume to fix mine. I guess it was frustrating, so I did a little google search to find out more about this person.
And yes, I keep bringing it up. In fact, I brought it up tonight although this happened almost two years ago.
I really want to move past this, but I feel kind of guilty continuing the relationship knowing how my grandmother feels about him...and my mom too. As I've said before, I will never make this mistake again.
I think it's also hard to move past this because he basically didn't want to talk for a while after I asked a question about this person.
It depends, if it was something really bad, something that could really change how you think about him, then you have to adress this and sersiously think about continuing your realtionship
if it was a non issue and only became an issue cause you told your grandma, then you shouldnt tell him and just stay in your relationship despite what your family thinks-
You should at least confront yourself. How could you be so mean to him about something that happened 2 years ago? You owe him a big apology. You owe your grandmother an apology for worrying her. She obviously isn't cut out for hearing news like this, and clearly feels strongly about her version of morals.
You really need to understand that your insecurities and lack of compassion are going to create a toxic enviroment for your your relationship. If you really value your relationship, and your so have some self control. Control your own thoughts, control your own reactions, you can't change whats' already happened. No one deserves that kind of treatment.
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